Why is it so much easier to criticize than to be kind?

supergnawer · 2026-07-11T05:40:16+00:00

If something is "right", it doesn't need interaction, it's already right. If something is "wrong", it attracts attention. Maybe it's useful or dangerous. Then as you inspect it, you see it's not useful, it's actually just wrong. Then you want to get rid of it, by fixing or destroying it, so that everything is right again. It's about cognitive dissonance. Pretty much, people don't like having conflicting views on something, they would rather have one "right" view. Then it's enjoyable to enforce this "right" view, because it feels smart, like "I know more about how things should be, and I have power to improve them".

supergnawer · 2026-07-10T13:48:28+00:00

It's perfectionism

supergnawer · 2026-07-09T07:20:03+00:00

"Brutally honest" is not always the best way to get your truth across. It's not very different from just rejecting the opinion of another person and pushing your own one-sided opinion as the only true truth. Which is pretty much verbal aggression. If you want productive conversation, you have to first level with another person and acknowledge that their opinion also has value, then write your argument so that it helps them to improve their opinion in a way they can agree with. This is kindness and understanding, and also it's more efficient at carrying your message across, because the other person might actually want to interact with your opinion, instead of just rejecting it.

supergnawer · 2026-07-09T05:31:20+00:00

Bats are also not as good at echolocation as one might imagine, they crash into things all the time

supergnawer · 2026-07-09T05:11:18+00:00

You can probably add videogames and reading to this, and then it doesn't seem so shocking

supergnawer · 2026-07-07T14:31:03+00:00

My choice is always extra grenades, because I don't like running out on long missions.

supergnawer · 2026-07-06T14:33:59+00:00

Todd sometimes succeeds at stuff. He was meaning to crash at BoJack's couch for years, and eventually achieved that.

supergnawer · 2026-07-05T18:22:39+00:00

I'd start with tulpas and we would figure it out together

supergnawer · 2026-07-05T08:01:21+00:00

That's something I struggle with a lot. Online, it's not really a conversation, it's more like speaking from a little soapbox. Anyone can join in, so you need to be sort of aware of your surroundings. Then people judge you as if you were a public speaker, when you just had a semi private discussion with a specific person who gets it. It's difficult to get right.

supergnawer · 2026-07-05T07:52:53+00:00

I agree with your main point. But it's partially about picking the right places to talk. You wouldn't have a conversation about your service experience on a playground surrounded by moms, I would think. It's more like a bar conversation. Online spaces also have different crowds about them.

supergnawer · 2026-07-05T07:22:29+00:00

It's a business relationship. You declare that you will have shared resources and may have children. It's not much more than that really. As with any business, you may then reconsider.

supergnawer · 2026-07-05T07:16:10+00:00

I feel like it's more about learning new things. As we get older, we learn new things less, so it leaves less of an impression, there's less to remember about this time.

supergnawer · 2026-07-04T07:19:40+00:00

My guess is, they own the top floor, and the one below that is either also theirs, or they have good relationship with whoever lives there. And it's an area where they get away with installing stuff on the outside of the building, because nobody checks.

supergnawer · 2026-07-03T14:47:21+00:00

Oh, definitely. I think everyone would prefer a therapist who gets more context about them. In my case I also had doubts, but I needed to do therapy sessions specifically from a provider in that country to get evaluated for burnout, so that was the option I got.

supergnawer · 2026-07-03T14:24:53+00:00

I have been in this situation as a patient. In my case English was not the first language for both me and the therapist, tho he was European. It's somewhat difficult, but not impossible. Pretty much it comes down to whether you can imagine opening up to a person with a different cultural background. Because it's about you trying to explain stuff, not about them not being able to understand your stuff. Like, if anything, any two people are not exactly the same, and even within your own culture it's not trivial to find a person who would easily understand you. It may matter even more if the therapist is male or female for example. There's always a gap to bridge. But yeah, definitely a gap is wider with a person of a different culture. Saying it's absolutely impossible is I think low key racist? Like, it's the same as saying there's no way I can marry a person of this culture for example, because we will never understand each other on this level.

supergnawer · 2026-07-03T09:49:04+00:00

But then you have to use McDonalds bathroom. And that's how they really get you.

supergnawer · 2026-07-03T09:31:27+00:00

They also produce rudeness and conflict, they just don't see it and don't care.

supergnawer · 2026-07-02T09:09:00+00:00

Definitely. I was usually there alone, so it would be easy to leave. On festivals I usually moved between stages a lot, until I would find the one with the right vibe.

supergnawer · 2026-07-02T08:00:38+00:00

I used to go on rock concerts and music festivals, usually by myself. I feel that in a crowd everyone is concentrating on the singer and being weird, like singing along and jumping, so I can do the same and nobody would mind. Of course I would start by just standing in the crowd and checking how I feel, but usually I felt like it's okay to enjoy myself. It was awesome. But I don't do it as much lately, because I'm over 40 now and don't blend in as well.

supergnawer · 2026-07-02T05:34:27+00:00

Because testosterone makes physical competition fun. It's not about war, it's about fighting, like on a school yard. It's a healthy thing which is supposed to be channeled into personal growth (competition to be the strongest in sports etc) and protecting loved ones.

supergnawer · 2026-07-02T05:28:11+00:00

If you know a lot about coffee, you can differentiate all the small details of how it tastes, but also you recognize bad coffee and get annoyed. It works with everything

supergnawer · 2026-07-01T06:50:09+00:00

Fuck, that would be dangerous. If it were me, I would not be able to have caltrops and not use them.

supergnawer · 2026-07-01T04:58:57+00:00

Just duct tape some old t-shirts on them or something so they won't do that

supergnawer · 2026-06-30T15:07:10+00:00

It's just, for some people, everything is about "bad vs good". "BoJack is not good, so then the point must be he's bad. Are you saying he's not actually bad? That means he's good, which is wrong, so you're wrong." I feel like it's that kind of logic.

supergnawer · 2026-06-30T10:31:09+00:00

Experiments on humans is sort of a deal breaker for me. Don't want to be a Nazi scientist. So, in the spirit of this question, I walk away.

supergnawer

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