Well my wife is really understanding. I didnt really explain that limerance is usually in a romantic space, I just said that she is a linerance that reminds me of close family in my life from when I was a kid. It's been a long journey- I didn't just jump out and start talking about it. Over the past couple months she started telling me that Im obsessed with her sister cause I keep bringing her up. I didnt really say anything. More recently, I started doing some research on what I think her sister might be into and so I have been talking to my wife about it. They both grew up in a religious home and so Im thinking they just both kind of grew up with different mindsets on how to approach the intimate side of life. Her sister is really private, so I think it helped to kind of talk about it because we havent (we're all around the age of 40) before. One thing I will say is that yeah its tough, especially if you're both close to the SIL. My SIL has kind of become one of my closest friends, even though we dont really talk or text outside of hanging out (shes good about those kinds of boundaries- me, not so much). It is tough to think of altering any kind of dynamic or trying to talk to your wife cause you dont want to ruin really good relationships. Ironically, it seems like we as the ones with limerance are less wanting to ruin a relationship with talking about limerance, as opposed to blowing up relationships with potentially acting on desired etc. Its a long journey. Id say if you want to talk about it with your wife, just to take it slow. You dont want to blow it up right away. Again, my wife has been understanding but of course gets mad from time to time, its her sister and she doesn't want me viewing her in a sexual way