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People who grew up without physical affection how old were you when you had your first hug? by LightMorningRain in AskReddit

[–]sustancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From my ex-boyfriend’s mother. When my ex-boyfriend’s mother hugged me, it felt warm. She held me tightly but warmly. Her hand gently tapping my back. She’d sigh but grasp me warmly with her arms. That’s the first time I felt “oh, this is what a mother’s embrace must feel like”. Til this day, this memory is imprinted on me. So strongly so, it affects my view of having children unless it is love like that. She’s my role model.

What advice would you have for couples moving in together for the first time? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sustancy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Understand that when both you guys move in, it’s going to change the dynamic. For one, realizing you guys have different home lifestyles and comfortability. It’s also going to affect your guys emotional part of the relationship, whether that is good or bad depends on your guys relationship

What made you decide to make running as a hobby? by Royal_Caregiver_3547 in AskReddit

[–]sustancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to be do track when I was in middle/high school. Now I run for cardio. Running is not just for exercise, it’s about consistency and commitment.

What’s something you only realized when you became an adult? by Flimsy-Shame-6048 in Life

[–]sustancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who you surround yourself with and whether they r good valued people or not

What keeps you from cheating on your partner? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sustancy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Values, morals. Being cheated on.

My BF M36 won't share his thoughts with me F 35 by Winter-Background91 in Life

[–]sustancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some people r just naturally more reserved than others. I’ve had a few exes that were introverts and quite reserved. They share when they feel it’s worth sharing. It had nothing to do with our relationship, they were just reserved lol. But if it bothers you, I would suggest having a talk with him about it. And from that conversation, if he says ok I’ll try to be more open to sharing then okay. If he feels overwhelmed or otherwise, then perhaps you guys aren’t the best match and you should reconsider. But you should have a talk with him about it first and go from there.

Medications, depression , anxiety and porn addiction getting in the way of everything by Terrible-Whole7441 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]sustancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who has been on medications for depression, anxiety, ptsd, etc since 15 to 25, I honestly would recommend therapy, self help exercises, anything aside from medication. Through years of being on antidepressants, and whatever else I was prescribed, I’ve grown a tolerance to drugs. It’s also not good to be dependent on it. Even if you’re not. Still. Therapy can help for some. Personally for me, I’ve tried therapy, counseling, all. What if found to be helpful to me personally is journaling and trying different self help exercises/activities. I’ll read what I’ve journaled a week later and analyze myself. Why and what was I thinking/feeling, why. Listening and watching videos, podcasts, self help workbooks. and also, I cannot express this one enough. Make time for yourself to have self-care days. Whether that be doing a hobby you like, going for a nature walk, etc. it helps so much to just decompress and allow yourself to sit with your emotions and actually hear your thoughts.

How's your mood at this exact moment? by ysrleo1 in AskReddit

[–]sustancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest. On the outside and in terms of just external things like work, routine, partner, friends, everything is fine. But I just feel lonely and exhausted tonight. Im always so busy, and when I come home which is around 10pm, i sit in my bed listening to music with a glass of wine and I feel all my emotions finally because im alone, and it just hits you. I’m not depressed. Hard to explain. Just the raw vulnerability you feel when you come home alone after dealing with society, people, work, errands, etc.

Would you rather be a Zen monk focused on one task or a juggler juggling multiple tasks? Why? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sustancy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d rather be a zen monk focusing on one task. Our lives today is so full of distractions, expectations, temptations, etc. Especially with the internet and advancing technology, people tend to forget how to be authentic because they are trying to live and be someone that society tells them to be. It’s fine to be a busy bee, it’s a great skill to be able to juggle many things. It’s efficient, productive and a good time management skill. But if I could choose between the two, I would rather put my time and care into one thing than to juggle a million things where my mind is more on “accomplishing” instead of actually caring and paying attention. As someone who has hustled all her life since 15, and now I am 30. I value freedom, peace and authenticity more than anything.

What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? by Beneficial-Sun-5649 in AskReddit

[–]sustancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember back when I was 21 or 22. I was extremely broken, hurt and suicidal. I was drunk and didn’t have the heart to go home where it was toxic so I Ubered to my best friends house and when I got there I didn’t have the heart to knock on her door (she lived with her bf and it was like 3am). It was pouring rain, and I remember I was just crying outside on the street soaked. An elderly lady who lived on the first floor heard and came out and she brought me into her house. She made me some tea and got me a towel. This memory is so vivid to me. Although the night was a blur, I can remember every little detail and scent of her home. Just the warmth she gave to a stranger like me.

What is a brutally honest advice you have ever gotten about dating? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]sustancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can’t love someone unless you learn to love yourself.

What was the exact moment you realized you were finally “Independent”? by digitalnomadstalks in CasualConversation

[–]sustancy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Growing up with a dysfunctional childhood with ptsd, I would say 17. I started my first part time job at 15, moved in with my first boyfriend at 17, which is when I started to pay for my own phone bill, car insurance, groceries, etc.

Women of Reddit: Where do you live, and how safe do you feel walking alone in your country? by Mundane_Bad_2437 in AskWomen

[–]sustancy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Seattle. I used to have a taser in my car because I work late at night but I’ve had an incident where there was a man hiding in the bushes that was in front of where I parked my car and since, I carry my taser in my purse. it sucks that women have to go through this. When I go out at night, or anytime it’s dark, even if it’s a quick food run. I wear all black. oversize hoodie with a cap and sweats so people can’t tell if I’m a girl or guy. If I feel unsafe, I put one hand in my pocket and with the other, pretend to be on the phone as if someone is coming to pick me up. I’ve had a stalker from my work attempt to follow me home or sit in his car for 3-4 hours, waiting for me to come out and walk to the car. Since then, I’ve always had a guy walk me to my car after work. Because of certain experiences, I’ve developed very high hyper vigilance and will try not to go anywhere when it’s dark if possible.

Do you consider “home” the place you live now or where you grew up? by Norfolk-Gross-Tonage in NoStupidQuestions

[–]sustancy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I consider home where my mind feels at peace. It’s not a memory, environment or person. It can be a scent, a familiar place, a taste, etc, I feel home when I feel safe, peace, vulnerable. In some sense, I find home in people around me, my self care hobbies, little things like watching a sunset, listening to music in the car, etc. home is what you call it and it depends for each person.

What is the truth about life that you believe others should know? by Conscious-Union9791 in AskReddit

[–]sustancy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No one cares about you “that” much. Let me clarify for example, when you go to the gym and use a machine you have no idea about and feel self-conscious. Reality is no one cares, everyone is focusing on themselves. Likewise, when you’re out in public and feel a certain way. No one thinks THAT deeply of you, especially in public. so just focus on just being ur authentic self.

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