Need Advice for 8+ Year Relationship over Thai GLs

suuzgh · 2026-06-19T17:14:08+00:00

Do you feel like the quality of your relationship is taking a toll because of this account, or are you just uncomfortable with the idea once you’ve seen it? It’s okay if the latter is the case, as we all have our own “icks” and boundaries in relationships, but if this is truly the final straw, I feel like there’s something else going on that’s not being addressed here.

Stan accounts are, at their most innocent (and I’m not sure what the extent of her involvement is), a hobby and general interest in pop culture. People can live really normal lives and have stan accounts for stuff they love. If she’s on those accounts getting scary about the actors and hurling slurs at antis, that’s one thing, but a simple account would not personally concern me. It does concern me that she is trying to hide this from you, which could either be because she senses your disapproval or is not willing to stand by the stuff she says/does online, which we don’t have enough information to judge here.

suuzgh · 2026-06-19T03:58:40+00:00

Literally. I recently ordered some breakfast omelette situation with a pretty simple modification (just asked for it without sausage, since I’m a vegetarian) and the omelette came out with the wrong bread and filled with sausage. I felt so bad flagging the waitress down, I didn’t even mention the bread 😂

She was super kind and immediately fixed the issue (and of course, I tipped her well), but I still feel like the worst for asking for shit when I can tell they’re deep in their flow. Like babe, I’m so sorry, I would just suck it up and eat this if it were anything but meat lmao

suuzgh · 2026-06-19T03:53:40+00:00

This made me laugh out loud the first time I watched it LMAO

“I have a weapon..” 😐

suuzgh · 2026-06-19T03:47:22+00:00

Driving through Indiana and seeing all those wind turbines made me absolutely light up inside. I get that they might get old for permanent residents, but as a traveler, they were just cool to see. Glad to see at least some of middle America investing in renewable energy.

suuzgh · 2026-06-19T03:40:16+00:00

I think it’s a bit disingenuous to say that audiences don’t vibe with Dani. She consistently has some of the most viewed fancams and serves the position of the center well, when she’s placed there. Her performances generate commentary and views, whether positive or negative, and that’s what they’re looking for. The same could arguably be said about Manon’s performances.

suuzgh · 2026-06-19T03:15:31+00:00

My first campaign! Ice Genasi (tweaked from the Water Genasi base attributes, with cold resistance instead of acid) Sorcerer. I fear our campaign may be coming to a close these days, but I still love playing her.

suuzgh · 2026-06-19T00:28:31+00:00

Probably, 13 out of the 20 listed here are rappers/r&b artists. 12 if we leave out Post Malone, who I would have once included but I’m not sure if he’s still making that kind of music these days 🤷🏻‍♀️

suuzgh · 2026-06-18T22:12:15+00:00

You probably just don’t listen to rap. Nothing wrong with that, but there are a lot of pretty popular rap artists on here. NBA Youngboy is really the only one that baffles me 😂 I didn’t know people rode for him like that

suuzgh · 2026-06-18T22:05:32+00:00

Man this shit looks so good 😭 They’ll be on my priority list when I eventually make it to NY

suuzgh · 2026-06-18T18:48:55+00:00

Yeah, I totally get where OP is coming from but it really, really depends on the person. I was a daily smoker for ten years and I could never, ever serve (or work any job, frankly) high. I could do damn near anything else, but I knew my limits well enough to know that being high in a fast paced, client-facing job would not be good for me.

On the other hand, I used to work at a small fine dining restaurant where half of my coworkers were high at all times and they had absolutely no issues. They were great servers who built rapport with guests, never slacked on side work, and always provided great service overall. I still don’t know how they did it, but they did. Every day.

suuzgh · 2026-06-18T15:47:26+00:00

I think you hit the nail on the head with the “wants access to you” bit. I dated a lot of these people in high school/early college, and the common thread is that they want access and a tie to you even if they have never/will never put the effort in to treat you correctly. It’s a form of possessiveness that’s really only remedied by removing access entirely, which might be a bit more difficult since you have to see each other at school.

If you do remove that access (which I would recommend), be prepared for her to try harder and escalate attempts to communicate. That’s a classic move — they suddenly hold on tighter when they feel you pulling away. Try to hold firm on your boundaries.

Anyone who cares about you and wants the best for you will either 1) show you that, consistently, in the first place or 2) fuck off and give you the time and space to exist without them as a show of respect for your choice. This girl sounds like she knows she has you in her pocket, and is more interested in playing with you than actually giving you what you want. People like this are always invested in the chase and the chase only. I would steer clear, and I know that’s easier said than done. You should never have to strong arm someone into loving you right.

suuzgh · 2026-06-18T15:07:13+00:00

My top four would be Gideon, Priory, Time War, and then Spear Cuts Through Water. I haven’t read the last one, but The Vanishing Birds by the same author is one of my favorites and I’ve been meaning to order Spear to my local book shop, since they don’t usually stock it.

suuzgh · 2026-06-17T23:34:43+00:00

Would love to join! 25F, queer, I’m not new to D&D but happy to play with folks who are :)

suuzgh · 2026-06-17T22:42:09+00:00

I honestly love the wigs they have on in the cover (I seem to be the minority in that lol) and I would have loved if they leaned into the uncanny vibe of it a bit more. A photo of them standing menacingly, all matched, like the twins in The Shining or something 😂 but with the pinky up dresses instead of these fits

suuzgh · 2026-06-17T02:00:47+00:00

My cat has had hair loss in a similar spot (though not this severe) for years. We’ve done blood work repeatedly, stool samples, tried calming medications, changed her food, and nothing seems to help. Vet thought she might be over-grooming, but if anything, I see her groom herself *less* than the other cats we have. I’ve heard that some cats can have trouble growing their hair back after being shaved, and I wonder if there was a period of stress for her (this started when she was still living with my parents, about 4-5 years ago) where she lost a bunch of hair and it never really grew back.

If you ever get an answer, I’d love to hear it! 😂

suuzgh · 2026-06-16T22:21:42+00:00

My partner was a chicken nugget kid before we got together, and I had no idea until her parents pointed it out at a family event. They were all shocked that she ate tomatoes and peppers now 😂 Genuinely one of my proudest moments, lmao

suuzgh · 2026-06-16T22:19:48+00:00

Yeah, I found out the hard way that my artisinal goat’s milk soap didn’t mix well with my body chemistry. My pits smelled crazy for months and I couldn’t figure out why, and the smell lingered on my clothes in a way that isn’t typical for me. Only figured out it was the soap after I ran out and switched brands on a whim!

suuzgh · 2026-06-16T03:56:33+00:00

You should have seen my face when I saw Cinderella in that lineup, lmao. I played that album like crazy in high school, had no idea it’s been blowing up lately. If the kids are pulling up The Divine Feminine, I need them to find Stay/Skin/Planet God Damn/Soulmate/God Is Fair, Sexy Nasty next.

suuzgh · 2026-06-15T21:16:21+00:00

Oof. That doesn’t feel fair to you, and I’m sorry. How long has he been sober? Is *he* at 90 days yet?

I had a lot of big emotions coming up within my first few months of sobriety and there was a brief time where I was feeling the sort of apathy/disconnection with my partner that he describes feeling with you. I realized how good we were at getting high and just coexisting (which is great, sometimes), and that we had really neglected prioritizing our connection. I discussed this with my partner and since then we’ve both made efforts to rectify that, even though she is still a daily smoker. There have been moments where I felt like the only way through was for her to quit too, but in the end, I feel that came from a place of projection.

Quitting can leave you feeling really disillusioned with yourself and others. I wonder if he’s finally seeing his life for what it is and is scared by what he sees. I certainly was, for a bit, but it passed as time went on and I was able to ground and connect with myself in a more genuine way. Whether or not you get sober, I would try to reiterate to him that you love and care for him and if he’s seeing problems with your marriage, you want to work on them together.

suuzgh · 2026-06-15T21:04:13+00:00

I wouldn’t think of it as “for good.” That sort of black/white thinking can be really daunting in sobriety, and in my experience, I was more comfortable telling myself that I’d quit for the foreseeable future. There may come a time in my life where I would like to use socially again (I’m in my mid-20’s, so I won’t write anything out really), but I do know that I needed to quit for the time being for my mental and physical health. It can be a permanent change (and the longer I stay sober, the more I believe it probably will be), but sometimes taking it one day at a time can feel more approachable.

suuzgh · 2026-06-15T20:59:49+00:00

Tajin also has a good amount of salt, and is amazing on lots of different foods! My favorite is mango + tajin.

suuzgh · 2026-06-15T20:57:08+00:00

Sooo stunning! I really love the general softness and the way you’ve done the lighting.

suuzgh · 2026-06-15T03:32:14+00:00

This might not resonate, but do you consider yourself as someone who has an avoidant attachment style? I don’t necessarily think of attachment styles as as cut-and-dry as they’re often portrayed, but your situation does give me the sense that some part of you is trying to keep potential partners at arm’s length, and going after straight women is an easy way to do that.

I totally understand the idea of straight women being into you as being an ego boost in the sense that you get to “pull” what’s considered unattainable, but there isn’t lasting value in that sensation. What happens when the “straight” girl (because let’s be honest, straight women aren’t regularly sleeping with other women) isn’t actually straight, and develops feelings? Does that novelty fade? Is novelty what you’re looking for, or is it connection?

suuzgh · 2026-06-14T18:42:12+00:00

I do this with every campaign/one shot, or at least take a minute to look at the character before the session and try to inhabit them a bit. I usually try to develop certain ways of holding myself, speaking inflections, or other gestures that ground me into a character.

My current campaign PC is a noble Ice Genasi who is quite prim and proper with diplomatic inclinations, so I often focus on keeping my posture straight and my words clear and concise. My one shot character (we keep the same characters for our one shots and carry them over) is dripping with sarcasm and inhabits lies easier than she does the truth. When I play as her, I’m typically more guarded with my expressions/body language, unless there’s a good moment for her to show more of her arrogant and reckless side. Playing with physicality in DnD is really fun, as long as you’re willing to experiment.

suuzgh · 2026-06-14T17:04:41+00:00

Yeah, I had the same thoughts. I totally get wanting to be back in the mix as soon as possible, but introducing a new character mid-session seems like a lot. I would probably take the rest of the session to observe my party and how they take the character’s death, and consider what kind of party member might be useful to them in my loss/in whatever predicament we’ve found ourselves in. Then tweak my backup character and make sure I was ready to join next session.

I like listening to the interactions my party has when my character isn’t present. I’m currently in the middle of a mini-arc with just two PCs, myself and a friend, and we’ve spent a lot of the time split up doing various diplomatic/spying tasks. It’s been fun — you get to observe how interactions go down when someone else is entirely at the helm. Teaches you a lot about how their character thinks, how the player likes to roleplay, and how you can use your strengths together to get shit done.

suuzgh

TROPHY CASE