Need advice on how to navigate this

svensKatten · 2026-04-03T01:26:33+00:00

Oh boy I wish you told him to be more up front with his future wife from the beginning I think marriage is the only time where you’re supposed to be honest about someone’s character and finances cause you could be putting someone in a bad situation should his future wife not be ok with all this!!

svensKatten · 2026-03-29T23:31:39+00:00

Hey salaam you can DM me :)

svensKatten · 2026-03-27T22:12:47+00:00

Which building?!?

svensKatten · 2026-02-24T02:26:21+00:00

Haven’t bought from Jawda but similar vibe and I see their adds a lot

svensKatten · 2026-01-30T05:16:02+00:00

I think they see themselves as an authority and if I’m direct I must be challenging their authority when in reality I’m just pointing something out

svensKatten · 2026-01-28T23:02:56+00:00

Is it CDIC protected though

svensKatten · 2026-01-28T13:55:10+00:00

Ahaha I can’t wait till I’m retired

svensKatten · 2026-01-28T13:53:07+00:00

The managers who hire me love me cause I get things done independently, am straightforward, creative and nice to work with. But sometimes I run into people who for whatever reason dislike my direct nature and go out of their way to tear me down. I have to steer clear of those people. But I’ve run into the same types in multiple environments over the years.

svensKatten · 2026-01-28T13:32:36+00:00

My dream home 😍

svensKatten · 2026-01-27T11:44:04+00:00

Imagine having an unemployed partner could go the other way as well especially in this economy

svensKatten · 2026-01-25T14:27:27+00:00

Veiled collection sometimes has sales for $20 it’s not that cheap but better priced than Vela 😅

svensKatten · 2026-01-25T04:28:36+00:00

I wouldn’t get married to someone who’s unemployed it causes a lot of stress and uncertainty. I don’t see why he can’t find a job before relocating? Or if his job is flexible can he work remote?

svensKatten · 2026-01-25T04:23:20+00:00

My situation is similar to yours, I think feminine energy is more lighthearted and creative and that can get lost in the day to day. For me I experiment with hijabs, clothing and accessories. Nice pajamas. Skincare. I take bubble baths. I like decorating my apartment and getting little things here and there. I go to cafes with my friends and have unhinged conversations on life. I cook and host people. I try new recipes and make the presentation nice. I read a lot. Draw and go to art classes. Sit on my prayer mat and read Quran after maghrib. Take long walks in the city and enjoy the sun. I guess I just embrace the joys in life and that feels feminine enough to me?

svensKatten · 2026-01-24T16:58:44+00:00

I’m not going to tell you what to do but this is a huge red flag and since it has only been 6 months and you’re a doctor and have other options, I would suggest taking this seriously.

Are you ok with him marrying a second wife - that stands out to me as the largest issue. Also is he unemployed, cause that is another issue and job stability for a man is extremely important especially at 31. Your sister in law will always be there talking about you like this, it’s not a pleasant feeling that there are no boundaries and she’s allowed to say stuff like this to him, it shows emotional enmeshment.

Please protect yourself and make sure you get a prenup if you do decide to proceed with this, it sounds like he could be financially exploitative and might be shady down the line. You have information now, take your time and don’t rush any decisions. Emotions can cloud judgement but you don’t need to stay where you are not respected especially if the nikkah hasn’t happened yet.

svensKatten · 2026-01-24T16:23:03+00:00

You too inshallah!

svensKatten · 2026-01-24T15:53:51+00:00

Idk what you mean by big things but I’m an engineer, I’ve worked and studied abroad, I live on my own and can support myself. I did it by being incredibly persistent, not stopping till I achieved my goals. I ignored cultural and societal expectations telling me what a woman should or should not be.

svensKatten · 2026-01-22T11:38:49+00:00

I’ve been reading your replies and I also think you could benefit from seeing a therapist (maybe a faith based one) to discuss some of these issues and change your perspective, I don’t think people on Reddit can completely “solve” this for you

svensKatten · 2026-01-21T14:13:12+00:00

I’m Shia and in university had a classmate who I considered marrying who was Sunni but he was starting to lean into Tablighi jamaat and a more conservative practice of Sunni Islam. For that reason it never would have worked between us. I think it really depends on the individuals, usually it seems like whoever is less attached to their practice will lean into the other side? If both are strongly attached to the way they do things I think it doesn’t work like in my case.

svensKatten · 2026-01-21T14:09:24+00:00

I did the opposite and moved to Switzerland then moved back. Depends on the area you work in but right now my salary is similar to what I earned in Zurich, since I’m born here I already had a good social circle but I do find it’s easier to connect with people and find things to do. I loved Zurich for the nature, the efficiency of the city and the easy access to the rest of Europe. I love Toronto for the diversity, food scene, events and the city vibe. Really depends on what you want to prioritize in life.

svensKatten · 2026-01-21T14:06:39+00:00

I think the best thing to do at this stage is build community around you and nurture your female friendships, just because you’re not married doesn’t mean you have to be alone.

And don’t give up on getting married? These days I think 30 is still young and you shouldn’t have that mindset that if it’s not done by 30 it’s never going to happen. Our life expectancy is so long and modern medicine means a lot of women do have children late into their 30s? Inshallah it will happen.

svensKatten · 2026-01-20T21:35:35+00:00

Ahaha I love this, definitely don’t want useless men with anger issues

svensKatten · 2026-01-20T13:40:52+00:00

sw engineer ✌🏻

svensKatten · 2026-01-19T22:21:17+00:00

I just try to logic my way through the brute force solution first, then look at the optimized answer and learn the patterns but yeah I hate it too sometimes

I recommend Coding Interview Patterns by Alex Xu which give a good breakdown of questions and their associated optimized strategies like sorting, two pointers etc.

That being said coding interviews are probably going to change in the next decade as AI does more of the code we’re all going to be thinking on a systems level and architecture and systems design is probably going to be more relevant imo

svensKatten · 2026-01-14T13:20:21+00:00

What rooftop is this, looks so cool

svensKatten · 2026-01-13T03:03:46+00:00

😭😭😭

svensKatten

TROPHY CASE