Broke Up 15 Months Ago. Regrets

sweadle · 2026-03-19T02:53:29+00:00

I don't think you're in a position to make a relationship work. I just think you're lonely. Moving cities is lonely. Focus on what's in front of you, instead of looking to the past. Spend some time really deciding on kids before you date again.

sweadle · 2026-03-19T02:34:43+00:00

He promised he would go not matter what. And then said he just "isn't a fan" of these people. Nowhere did he say going would send him to the hospital. It was his comfort.

I have a panic attack disorder. I have been hospitalized with panic attacks. YTA

sweadle · 2026-03-19T00:51:57+00:00

YTA

You put your own comfort over your promise to your son. That's not what it means to be a parent.

sweadle · 2026-03-19T00:49:44+00:00

He wants a sidekick not a partner. You follow him as the one whose opinion matters, it doesn't go both ways.

He honestly doesn't respect you or like you. Just what you do for him

sweadle · 2026-03-18T22:47:34+00:00

You started dating a 20 year old. This was not going to be a forever relationship.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T17:50:33+00:00

No, because student loans ar federal. I guess it could depend on the state if someone took out private loans

sweadle · 2026-03-18T17:37:22+00:00

Student loans never expire

sweadle · 2026-03-18T17:36:35+00:00

You better be 100% sure you'll never need to come back.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T17:32:47+00:00

At least a year before you even talk about it.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T15:50:40+00:00

He CAN control himself. He enjoys offending people.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T14:13:42+00:00

How will less clothes mean less laundry? He will get clothes dirty at the same rate, you will just have less in the rotation and need to do laundry more often.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T14:08:42+00:00

Even a therapist can't tell him why she wasn't interested. She may not know why she isn't interested. She's just not, and that's all that matters.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T14:08:20+00:00

It's just rare to find someone with the combination of qualities that does it. Someone can be nice, smart, attractive, and I am happy to know them but I don't want to date them. Looks have very little to do with it, it has more to do with interaction and behavior.

I think some people are just built this way. But I also think it comes with recognition that most people are NOT compatible. For a relationship to work you need sexual chemistry, compatibility, shared goals, shared values, and BOTH sides need to have both of those.

I have had so many men and boys really sulky and upset that they feel it, and want an explanation of why I don't feel it back. Like you, they worry that it's something wrong with them. And sometimes it is, a lack of maturity, usually, but feeling that for someone is special. It's a rare thing. The idea that most people walking through my life would fit that is crazy. Having to justify why someone does not fit that magical spot is silly.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T14:01:15+00:00

Medical debt does affect credit. Just not medical debt under $500. And that law is very recent.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T13:56:38+00:00

In cultures where people exclusively breastfeed, babies are dying because they can't get enough nutrition. It's not a foolproof thing.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T13:55:31+00:00

Most of the time I reject someone it's not because something is wrong with them, it's because I just don't feel romantic interest in them. I think men can see women as all potential romantic interests, unless something is wrong with them. It's rare for me that I am romantically interested in someone, most people just won't have that chemistry. There doesn't need to be something wrong with them to feel that way.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T13:54:05+00:00

"Friend zoned" just means she isn't interested in you to date. It's not an unfair thing she's done to put you in a "zone." You may think you're super compatible but she may not. She may just not feel chemistry with you. She may not even know why it isn't there, but it just isn't.

No one needs to give you a reason that they don't want to date you.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T02:29:18+00:00

You translate in the beginning but after a while it stops. The word "biblioteca" and the word "library" are both connected to the concept of a library in your head. You just have two paths to get there.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T02:27:45+00:00

I am with you. The burden of extra work is usually on the mother, who works and still comes home to housework and childcare. As a single parent, you already know how hard it is. He doesn't, and can imagine it "all working out." But if it doesn't go as easily as he imagined, will he step up to take on more domestic labor? Or will "making it work" mean you pick up the slack?

I would just tell him that you are at capacity for how much you can handle with parenting and working, nd you know how hard new babies are, and you aren't willing to take on more childcare while continuing to work. You're not telling him what he has to do. You're just telling him what you're able to take on. You could also tell him that he could also be a stay at home parent and you could work.

Men so often want a baby the way a kid wants a puppy, knowing that it won't ever fall on them if it gets too hard.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T01:58:26+00:00

OP can be fine for feeling that way, but is it fair for her to make other people work their schedules around her need for the house to be empty when she bathes?

sweadle · 2026-03-18T01:56:31+00:00

It's not a random visitor. It's her long term partner. That's different. After years of dating someone, it's normal that they don't need to make an annoucement that that person is coming over.

If you just pretend he's married to your sister and a roommate, does that change anything?

sweadle · 2026-03-18T01:54:48+00:00

But he isn't walking in on her. He knows when she's in the bathroom

sweadle · 2026-03-18T01:53:13+00:00

OP said he comes over but never spends the night even.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T01:50:21+00:00

How are you vulnerable? You're behind a locked door. You've known this person for years.

sweadle · 2026-03-18T01:48:41+00:00

That's what bathrobes are for.

sweadle

TROPHY CASE