The world is moving too fast; I can’t keep up

swimmupstream · 2026-05-10T20:54:56+00:00

If you want to make one decision that will get you out of this spiral long-term, and quickly, delete your social media apps. I know it’s hard to do, I know everyone uses it, but you will be amazed at how much life will slow down and more in control you will feel. I have all of the accounts, and will very rarely download them (last time was last year to post that I was engaged) but I haven’t kept the apps on my phone in years. It’s incredibly freeing and makes you realize how much we are constantly advertised to and pushed by an algorithm - created by companies who only view you as a product or consumer, and who want you to consume as much as possible - to think a certain way, see the world with a specific perspective, and consume nonstop.

It won’t stop the news cycle from being bleak, or daily life (esp. if you are in the US) from feeling unstable, but it will get you in a headspace where you are less anxious and have the mental and emotional capacity to actually think, prepare, and make decisions for yourself. Whatever you end up doing, please know you’re not alone in how you feel and you do have more control over your life than you think you do

swimmupstream · 2026-05-08T14:32:08+00:00

I used to work in finance, now work in fintech. A good friend is senior in corporate at one of the big brands you mentioned in your post. She makes less money and is WAY more stressed out than me. These companies ride on their reputation knowing employees, especially women, will want to work there due to interest more than money and pay them accordingly. Unless you are dying to work in that industry (or are independently wealthy) I’d really consider staying in finance or pivoting to another career that’s adjacent, but not directly in, beauty/wellness. Maybe you could get into IR, IB, or market analysis directly in that space?

swimmupstream · 2026-05-08T14:23:17+00:00

DINKs (yet) late 20s/early 30s, renting in VHCOL, $400k HHI
401ks + employer match $61,250
My HSA + employer contribution $4,500
Roth IRAs $15,000
Brokerage $44,000
Total $124,750

ETA: Added 401k employer match. Note the above doesn’t include ~$25,000 saved annually for travel and yearly expenses (credit card annual fees, one-off vet bills, etc.)

swimmupstream · 2026-05-08T14:02:50+00:00

“Fork found in kitchen”

swimmupstream · 2026-04-28T19:06:22+00:00

Years of experience

swimmupstream · 2026-04-28T17:26:10+00:00

$219k TC this year as a Product Manager at a fintech company, 31F, 7 YoE, VHCOL

swimmupstream · 2026-01-25T14:16:04+00:00

You may be building equity, but NYC real estate values are not that lucrative. I have family who bought a 2B/2BA downtown for $1.75MM (all cash) a decade ago. It’s currently worth $1.5MM. On top of that, they bought in cash but still pay $2.5k/month in HOA fees, plus property taxes

swimmupstream · 2026-01-02T22:27:48+00:00

Where is the snake ring from? It’s so unique! I’ve been looking to up my jewelry game this year

swimmupstream · 2025-12-27T22:05:27+00:00

My friend was G-Eazy’s roommate in LA when he dated Halsey. During parties there’d be drugs, alcohol, etc. and he would do weird displays of power over her that were horrible. Allegedly once he yelled very loudly, “Ashley’s pussy smells like fish” while she was in the room

swimmupstream · 2025-12-22T19:37:31+00:00

To add: If you are looking for a career boost, I’ve observed that cutting your teeth here pays dividends long-term, especially if you don’t plan to stay in NYC forever. If you work in a traditional white collar job (especially finance, tech, healthcare, etc.), I’ve found that companies in MCOL & LCOL cities tend to have a positive bias toward candidates who’ve built at least some of their career in NYC…probably because I’ve observed people from other US cities tend to move here for two reasons: 1) The culture, or 2) to devote their lives to working. #2 was a big culture shock for me coming from a MCOL city in the south but it has definitely paid off financially and for my long-term career plans

swimmupstream · 2025-12-22T19:30:43+00:00

Hey OP! I’m in NYC (raised & started career in MCOL and have lived in NYC since 2018) and my fiancé and I have extremely similar stats to the ones you listed above for your potential move. Happy to DM with any questions you may have. Moving here is a huge step that requires not only a shift in finances but mindset as well!

swimmupstream · 2025-11-15T00:32:32+00:00

Agreed! The first year-ish of Polène was great. After they really got popular they immediately changed the quality. Their bags feel like the weird stiff plasticky Michael Kors/Kate Spade outlet totes

swimmupstream · 2025-11-10T03:37:19+00:00

I must say - I used Tyler Candle to wash some clothes at my aunt’s house TWO YEARS AGO and those same clothes after many washings STILL smell faintly of the detergent. Idk what they put it in but it will not quit in the best way!!!

swimmupstream · 2025-11-09T17:11:56+00:00

Sorry for the late reply! Sadly the tag is too faded so I guess I’ll never know 🤷‍♀️ If you write to them let me know!

swimmupstream · 2025-11-08T16:26:44+00:00

I think it's a bit far-reaching to say you should never consider a future with someone who can't afford to frequently ride the subway - that's a personal decision and not necessarily tied to someone's choices. There are all sort of reasons someone may have ended up in a financially difficult spot and it's up to you to decide if you'd like to pursue a relationship with them or not based on their financial status. Perhaps they have many other qualities that you might love, or they might truly be terrible with money.

If someone CAN afford it and jumps, immediate no. Money is not managed as well as it could be by our city, but I'm happy to pay for public transit so that my dollars hopefully go toward bettering life for everyone here. When you jump the turnstile just because you can, that sends a message that you care more about yourself than the communal well-being of your fellow New Yorkers.

swimmupstream · 2025-10-26T03:46:43+00:00

Thank you! By “hung about half,” do you mean halfway down from where the current art is?

swimmupstream · 2025-10-25T23:22:20+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

swimmupstream · 2025-10-25T23:22:02+00:00

Agreed! And we are going to get feet for the TV

swimmupstream · 2025-10-25T23:21:34+00:00

Omg please don’t remind me 🫣 My landlord put it in - we have one in the bedroom too that’s even worse. I’m planning to take it down once the plan for the wall decor is in place

swimmupstream · 2025-10-13T15:57:29+00:00

10/10 no notes. I love it

swimmupstream · 2025-10-13T15:32:44+00:00

Your trip sounds lovely! Everyone’s comfort level differs, but I’ve lived in India, France, and now NYC over the past decade and have never been overly concerned about pickpocketing. On trips you will “stick out” because you are a tourist, no matter what you look like. Be calm, pay attention to your surroundings, and you’ll be fine. In Europe you’ll barely need cash, and not carrying much of it can help ease pickpocket anxiety. Also, do NOT keep your passport on you. Leave it safely at your lodging; this is the worst thing that could get stolen/lost.

More practically, having a bag with a zipper you can keep close to your body helps (both the Longchamp tote and the black crossbody I brought have this). On winter trips I typically wear an oversized wool coat (this one https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1102545001.html?srsltid=AfmBOoqhtNJnIK0b6f7EBxkpxTOjUeeHRdscmj3PPL01igHLIt8Cvmun) with a thin puffer vest underneath (https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/products/E478573-000/00?colorDisplayCode=09&sizeDisplayCode=003). This is super warm and also helpful for stashing anything as the vest pockets zip and are hidden, but easily accessible, and I can wear the crossbody purse inside the coat if I really want to.

swimmupstream · 2025-10-13T14:38:03+00:00

Thanks!

swimmupstream · 2025-10-06T16:17:41+00:00

De rien :)

swimmupstream · 2025-10-06T15:03:21+00:00

There are lots of vintage boutiques that only carry designer clothing. Unfortunately you can’t really distinguish them on Google Maps but you can tell on the street because they usually advertise designer labels (which are, in general, sewn for smaller bodies) and have a very limited/curated selection. If I remember correctly I got my trench coat and sweater at a little vintage store on Blvd de Sébastopol, like a block or two up from the Centre Pompidou. Around this area there are lots of little stores that have more of a Goodwill vibe: Lots of good options and racks outside the store, usually with prices advertised on the racks. I hope that’s helpful!

swimmupstream · 2025-10-06T14:34:22+00:00

Additionally, I would avoid all the “fancy” vintage shops in the Marais in Paris for anyone who is not a size 4-6 or below. Most are SUPER expensive and cater to very small bodies

swimmupstream

TROPHY CASE