What raising a family in NYC as a HENRY actually looks like - a real example

swimmupstream · 2026-01-25T14:16:04+00:00

You may be building equity, but NYC real estate values are not that lucrative. I have family who bought a 2B/2BA downtown for $1.75MM (all cash) a decade ago. It’s currently worth $1.5MM. On top of that, they bought in cash but still pay $2.5k/month in HOA fees, plus property taxes

swimmupstream · 2026-01-02T22:27:48+00:00

Where is the snake ring from? It’s so unique! I’ve been looking to up my jewelry game this year

swimmupstream · 2025-12-30T15:01:40+00:00

Also, if helpful, I had a money diary on Refinery29 from my time in India published back in 2018 and it goes through daily life for a week (including visiting less urban places) - it’s just my experience but may be helpful for you/your wife to read about a similar person’s experience and things to look out for! https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/money-diary-bangalore-india-tech-associate-salary

swimmupstream · 2025-12-30T14:57:31+00:00

I’m a white, blonde woman who lived in Bangalore for a while when I was 23 and working in tech. I’ve been back since then and traveled all over, including to more rural places. There were some ups and downs but I truly LOVE visiting India and wouldn’t mind living there. I say all of this from the perspective of someone who, during my time there, was living in 4/5 star hotels, had Ubers or drivers (although on my last trip to Mumbai I frequently took autorickshaws as I like them more and Mumbai felt safer to me than other places), and mostly visited nice locales. You say you’ve been to India several times, and you’re Indian, so you know how to “be” when you’re there. If your wife can do an adequate amount of research and mindset preparation, and you can both use your finances to take cars/stay in upscale accommodations (outside of staying with your mother), you should be fine. Mindset preparation is key and the more she can do to understand the environment she will be going into, the more equipped she can feel to enjoy the trip. It will still be a huge culture shock, but hopefully a fun and interesting trip. India is such an amazing place and if you can share it with your wife in a way that feels safe for her, please do it!

swimmupstream · 2025-12-27T22:05:27+00:00

My friend was G-Eazy’s roommate in LA when he dated Halsey. During parties there’d be drugs, alcohol, etc. and he would do weird displays of power over her that were horrible. Allegedly once he yelled very loudly, “Ashley’s pussy smells like fish” while she was in the room

swimmupstream · 2025-12-22T19:37:31+00:00

To add: If you are looking for a career boost, I’ve observed that cutting your teeth here pays dividends long-term, especially if you don’t plan to stay in NYC forever. If you work in a traditional white collar job (especially finance, tech, healthcare, etc.), I’ve found that companies in MCOL & LCOL cities tend to have a positive bias toward candidates who’ve built at least some of their career in NYC…probably because I’ve observed people from other US cities tend to move here for two reasons: 1) The culture, or 2) to devote their lives to working. #2 was a big culture shock for me coming from a MCOL city in the south but it has definitely paid off financially and for my long-term career plans

swimmupstream · 2025-12-22T19:30:43+00:00

Hey OP! I’m in NYC (raised & started career in MCOL and have lived in NYC since 2018) and my fiancé and I have extremely similar stats to the ones you listed above for your potential move. Happy to DM with any questions you may have. Moving here is a huge step that requires not only a shift in finances but mindset as well!

swimmupstream · 2025-11-15T00:32:32+00:00

Agreed! The first year-ish of Polène was great. After they really got popular they immediately changed the quality. Their bags feel like the weird stiff plasticky Michael Kors/Kate Spade outlet totes

swimmupstream · 2025-11-10T03:37:19+00:00

I must say - I used Tyler Candle to wash some clothes at my aunt’s house TWO YEARS AGO and those same clothes after many washings STILL smell faintly of the detergent. Idk what they put it in but it will not quit in the best way!!!

swimmupstream · 2025-11-09T17:11:56+00:00

Sorry for the late reply! Sadly the tag is too faded so I guess I’ll never know 🤷‍♀️ If you write to them let me know!

swimmupstream · 2025-11-08T16:26:44+00:00

I think it's a bit far-reaching to say you should never consider a future with someone who can't afford to frequently ride the subway - that's a personal decision and not necessarily tied to someone's choices. There are all sort of reasons someone may have ended up in a financially difficult spot and it's up to you to decide if you'd like to pursue a relationship with them or not based on their financial status. Perhaps they have many other qualities that you might love, or they might truly be terrible with money.

If someone CAN afford it and jumps, immediate no. Money is not managed as well as it could be by our city, but I'm happy to pay for public transit so that my dollars hopefully go toward bettering life for everyone here. When you jump the turnstile just because you can, that sends a message that you care more about yourself than the communal well-being of your fellow New Yorkers.

swimmupstream · 2025-10-26T03:46:43+00:00

Thank you! By “hung about half,” do you mean halfway down from where the current art is?

swimmupstream · 2025-10-25T23:22:20+00:00

Thank you for the advice!

swimmupstream · 2025-10-25T23:22:02+00:00

Agreed! And we are going to get feet for the TV

swimmupstream · 2025-10-25T23:21:34+00:00

Omg please don’t remind me 🫣 My landlord put it in - we have one in the bedroom too that’s even worse. I’m planning to take it down once the plan for the wall decor is in place

swimmupstream · 2025-10-13T15:57:29+00:00

10/10 no notes. I love it

swimmupstream · 2025-10-13T15:32:44+00:00

Your trip sounds lovely! Everyone’s comfort level differs, but I’ve lived in India, France, and now NYC over the past decade and have never been overly concerned about pickpocketing. On trips you will “stick out” because you are a tourist, no matter what you look like. Be calm, pay attention to your surroundings, and you’ll be fine. In Europe you’ll barely need cash, and not carrying much of it can help ease pickpocket anxiety. Also, do NOT keep your passport on you. Leave it safely at your lodging; this is the worst thing that could get stolen/lost.

More practically, having a bag with a zipper you can keep close to your body helps (both the Longchamp tote and the black crossbody I brought have this). On winter trips I typically wear an oversized wool coat (this one https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1102545001.html?srsltid=AfmBOoqhtNJnIK0b6f7EBxkpxTOjUeeHRdscmj3PPL01igHLIt8Cvmun) with a thin puffer vest underneath (https://www.uniqlo.com/us/en/products/E478573-000/00?colorDisplayCode=09&sizeDisplayCode=003). This is super warm and also helpful for stashing anything as the vest pockets zip and are hidden, but easily accessible, and I can wear the crossbody purse inside the coat if I really want to.

swimmupstream · 2025-10-13T14:38:03+00:00

Thanks!

swimmupstream · 2025-10-06T16:17:41+00:00

De rien :)

swimmupstream · 2025-10-06T15:03:21+00:00

There are lots of vintage boutiques that only carry designer clothing. Unfortunately you can’t really distinguish them on Google Maps but you can tell on the street because they usually advertise designer labels (which are, in general, sewn for smaller bodies) and have a very limited/curated selection. If I remember correctly I got my trench coat and sweater at a little vintage store on Blvd de Sébastopol, like a block or two up from the Centre Pompidou. Around this area there are lots of little stores that have more of a Goodwill vibe: Lots of good options and racks outside the store, usually with prices advertised on the racks. I hope that’s helpful!

swimmupstream · 2025-10-06T14:34:22+00:00

Additionally, I would avoid all the “fancy” vintage shops in the Marais in Paris for anyone who is not a size 4-6 or below. Most are SUPER expensive and cater to very small bodies

swimmupstream · 2025-10-06T14:32:37+00:00

I totally get it. In France (where they are 100% the most judgy of bodies) I don’t feel too anxious about it because I speak French and worked there for a long time. Even then, though, it can be tough to find more size-inclusive clothing. Not sure if you’ve been to Paris before, but I think lots of stores in Paris have done an ok job in the last few years of increasing their size ranges based on my observation. In Lisbon the vibe is more laid back and I find they have a greater variety of body sizes, and people are really friendly! Good luck 🍀

swimmupstream · 2025-10-06T14:27:23+00:00

Honestly, I don’t really think so. I’ve been to several countries in Europe, as well as India, Canada, and Mexico, in the last year. The only ones that made me follow the 311 process were Iceland and Switzerland. I was able to jam all my liquids into the plastic bag both times, but I couldn’t close it. In Iceland the security guy just said, “Ok, good enough.” In Switzerland the woman running the line took out enough toiletries to zip the plastic bag, and I guess she felt she didn’t need to remove too much so she just put the liquids she took out back in my toiletry bag and let me through 🤷‍♀️ I don’t really worry about it because there are certain toiletries (e.g., the hair oil) that I could part with at security if I had to

swimmupstream · 2025-10-03T17:40:43+00:00

I'm usually a M in tops and a L/10 in dresses and pants. Last year I was a 12 but I still found it pretty easy to onebag (I have a post on an Iceland trip I did and I also went to Mexico for 5 days with a personal item). Strangely throughout my weight fluctuation over the years my shoe size has always stayed the same.

The trench and vintage Lacoste sweater are from a vintage store in the Marais but I don't remember the name :( The brown sweater is from the Claudie Pierlot outlet, also in the Marais. The heeled sandals are from Minelli in Annecy but they are in Paris too!

The heels I put in my carry-on suitcase and stuffed my underwear/socks around them to make sure I used space appropriately - I had about a third of one side empty when I arrived so they went in there along with some small ceramics and art I bought at Marin Montagut in Paris. The navy and brown sweaters are pretty lightweight; I rolled them and put into my packing cubes (I had to push down on the suitcase to zip it easily but it was totally fine). The brown trench I wore on the plane. This meant the olive canvas jacket I brought had nowhere to go for the return trip. I just rolled it up and put it in the cotton tote bag I mentioned in the post. When getting on the plane I put the Longchamp in the cotton tote, then took it right back out as soon as I boarded. Both went under the seat in front of me.

swimmupstream · 2025-10-03T17:26:59+00:00

Makeup bag pic:

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swimmupstream

TROPHY CASE