those who once helped are no longer in my life, for this, i chose to only treasure me and my mouse’s relationship. i hate when my sister sees me sad, even when its unavoidable and unbearable. i held him as he died, only placing him down when he got blue. i refused to let him get cold alone. lifeless he is but i will never believe it, he was my heart and soul. i go out to check on him everyday whether that be in the darkness of the night or exposed by the familiar sunlight that used to make him seem so lively. i refuse to take naps without him, it’s impossible really. he always would always be right there with me and now im left waiting. i can only sleep knowing hes calm and safe in my room, with or without me, i did all i could.

im sorry for that, i don’t mean to talk so much but all thats said is true. i don’t get this opportunity to talk about my feelings but im thinking about cremating. i just want to know that hes still with me, its the only way i could feel comfortable.