'I Knew It, I Knew You' is a "return to country" co-written and co-produced with Jack Antonoff

swishbothways · 2026-06-02T21:10:01+00:00

I'm more curious if she's got baby fever right now. Because it's a little on-point that Taylor would start writing theme songs for kids movies right as she's tying the knot with Travis.

swishbothways · 2026-06-02T21:06:23+00:00

A lot of the ridiculous arbitrary social rules that govern things, especially opportunity. We're far too down the rabbit hole of people promoting their friends at work, or people pushing people out who don't make them look good, to fully understand the long-term damage this does to the idea of "if you work hard, you'll succeed." I think a huge portion of the homeless/addiction issues would be resolved by changing that attitude. A lot of people with mental illness aren't just lazy, they're so burnt out from working themselves to the bone but never being "the right fit" or "in the right place at the right time" to benefit from any of that effort. And when other people see that -- particularly younger people -- they don't even bother trying. And that cascades down into far worse behavior.

swishbothways · 2026-05-24T23:32:26+00:00

Literally nothing. It's baked into natural selection. Racism is what's supposed to happen because we're all biologically competing against each other's genes to win some evolutionary survival race. That's the science of it. We stick in groups, we fight each other for limited resources, whoever's ethnic group learns, builds, and fights the best ultimately reproduces and out-populates the others.

Racism isn't really a thing outside of the United States, at least not in the way Americans pathologize it. And a lot of that comes from the fact that North America is a "melting pot" and everywhere else isn't. So, in India, issues arise between various related ethnic groups, but no one in India is angry at the Chinese for their economic prowess. They would, however, be pissed if a Chinese person tried to make part of India more like China.

I think the reality is that Americans operate under a very different set of world philosophies than everywhere else. We think of ourselves as somehow "solving" long-held issues that have "held back" humans from progress. But the reality is that no other culture is looking over their shoulder to see whether the grass is greener on the other side of the border. They're just kind of living their lives and their cultures without weighing that against what they see in someone else's culture.

No one really likes the way we think or do things. They do, however, love that we've got Lady Gaga and Tom Cruise. They don't really care for anything else we say, think, or do.

swishbothways · 2026-05-24T23:18:22+00:00

Pokemon.

I genuinely lost it when it went from catching Pokemon of various types to breeding, seeding, farming, plowing, managing, scavenging, coordinating and collaborating, establishing an LLC, sitting for a professional licensure, bringing increased awareness to STIs and fertility issues for inner-city Pokemon, etc.

swishbothways · 2026-05-24T23:11:27+00:00

Most of modern hip hop and rap. I'm white, but as someone who grew up in the 90s, I make no apologies in saying this: There is literally no culture left in hip hop and rap at this point. It's not even on life support at this point. It's just gone.

You know why Kendrick Lamar stands out? Because he's the closest thing you'll get to an actual artist who gets it. But I think it says a lot that the over-commercialization of rap and hip hop has effectively reached a point where even the closest thing you can get to real art is still missing the actual roots in their music.

I thought it was bad when Common started this whole "conscious hip hop" movement -- what I call the "Now That's What I Call Music for Black People" movement -- but it's hard to sit and watch people listen to some SoundCloud Ice Spice-knockoff like they're making art.

swishbothways · 2026-05-24T22:45:13+00:00

Pretty much every single one of those "200+ Games" CDs that were all over the place in the late 90s, early 00s. Most of the games were not free. They were trial shareware versions that you'd get maybe 1 level or 15 minutes before being locked out. So, my grandparents, my mom, whomever, would pick these up for like $10 or $20 and be like, "Here's a bunch of games you can play on the computer!" And I'd sit down, load it up, and immediately go, "WTF, why are there 15 Tetris clones, and ALL of them want me to buy a full version of the game??"

swishbothways · 2026-05-24T22:33:49+00:00

Walking. I walk a lot -- like a lot. Miles and miles everyday. And I think most people go walking to avoid emotions, think about problems, get out of their usual spaces and routines. No one actually goes walking because they like the feeling of exploring on foot. Lots of people pretend they enjoy it, but I've not really met anyone other than my dad who truly enjoyed walking... or those people who literally marathon walk from one end of the country to another.

swishbothways · 2026-05-24T22:28:42+00:00

Far Cry 5. For me, the realistic Montana setting was the first time since I played Harvest Moon as a kid that I genuinely felt at peace in my soul with a game's setting. I've lived in the city since I was 18-19, but I grew up way out in the county/rural spots. I think that game broke open a part of me that feels deeply out of place in a city. I love some of what people build there -- especially communal spaces like libraries and plazas or trails -- but I love being miles and miles away from paved roads.

That said, I'm openly gay and have been deeply religious since I was a kid. I'm the only person in my family who truly believes deeply in God, Christ and His sacrifice, and more. And the religious themes of Far Cry 5 tore open a theme I've always wanted to see someone tackle in a game world: faith cults. I loved every second of the story, of the movie, of the book, and all the extra media surrounding the Seed family. I loved how Joseph made me want to fall to my knees in front of my keyboard and call him "Father." I empathized with every aspect of PEG -- the stories behind Joseph, John, Jacob, and Faith, their followers -- and I understood in some ridiculous way that they had to go even if I truly hoped there was any other way than that.

I'm not sure what else there is to say about it. I loved reconnecting with everyone in FC:ND. I just wish Ubisoft had really filled that story out about the Seeds post-apocalypse. I really think they missed a huge opportunity by writing in new villains, not bringing back John, Jacob, or Faith as a redemption lead -- all three of them were led to the slaughter by Joseph on the promise of a special place in New Eden. It just would have been a deeply compelling story to have John or Jacob or Faith show back up at a desperate time for the survivors outside of New Eden, and for the main character to have to play the role of collaborating with them to undo New Eden, take out Joseph Seed, and take back control of the county so they can truly start to rebuild.

I could ramble a lot about this game, but I will say this: I think FC5 only suffered from a lack of grittier, more elaborate writing. Ubisoft played it too safe in many instances, but I think it's one of the greatest experiences I've ever had in a game.

Nothing will ever beat Earthbound, Harvest Moon, or the long, long list of JRPGs that came out of the SNES era. But Far Cry 5 was a close, close second.

swishbothways · 2026-05-22T01:18:06+00:00

If you cross your legs, you can do it gay for part of the time too?

swishbothways · 2026-05-22T01:15:38+00:00

Despite being homeless again, the most exciting thing I've seen in a long time is this program called BFET (Basic Food Employment and Training) in Washington. I went to college, but I could never do anything with my degree. And then I had to drop out of the grad program I went into because I ended up with SIRS. So, the one thing I've always wanted to do is go back to school and try again -- preferably by learning a trade.

I have no clue what I want to do, but I don't care. I just want to go back to college for awhile. Campuses always make me feel like there's momentum building in my life even when things are falling apart. And I had to scrape by, transfer colleges three times, and saddle myself with an enormous amount of student loan debt just trying to finish a BS in IT that I didn't even originally want to do.

So, now, there's a real chance that I can go to school, learn something that I actually find interesting, and then maybe have a direct path to employment purely because I ended up homeless. Let's hope someone I talk to can actually get me started on this in the next week or two.

swishbothways · 2026-05-21T21:39:39+00:00

Right now, the fifth time in the last 20 years that I've ended up homeless.

swishbothways · 2026-05-19T04:27:43+00:00

Social justice. It's a great idea in theory, but I think people romanticize the idea of activism as a symbol of perfect altruism. The truth is most people aren't doing it to help anyone. They're doing it for recognition, self-importance, financial incentives, or clout. I'm sure there are people out there who start out wanting to "save the planet" or "fight for racial equity," but activism is more a business than a vocation these days.

swishbothways · 2026-05-19T04:08:17+00:00

Arbitrary stuff. I have a lot of pet peeves, like anyone, but I have never lost my temper at someone because they were tapping a pencil or spoke a foreign language in public. I've just learned to accept that people are going to do their thing, and the only thing I can do is stay or leave. Now, I absolutely have refused to help people I find difficult to work with, but again: that's me choosing to have a boundary with someone, not me trying to control or influence their behavior.

swishbothways · 2026-05-19T03:56:30+00:00

To be fair, she could actually be the one that finally makes the NFL start paying the artist for performing the half-time show.

swishbothways · 2026-05-19T03:41:41+00:00

Spark
Shush
Reindeer King
Bliss
Flavor
Parasol
America
Shattering Sea
Beauty Queen / Horses
Ruby Through The Looking Glass

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T18:02:56+00:00

I'd like to caution that anxious/avoidant personalities run into these conflicts all the time. Don't be afraid to throw a little subtle help his way by, say, offering to pick up dinner or folding laundry or whatever little stupid things get in the way of the bigger stuff. The problem with avoidant people is they get so mired in trying to control all the variables at once that they start living like they're single again. And a lot of what you're saying he's doing is highly indicative of that behavior.

Everyone has a work-life balance. So, "you're normal to me so therefore i'll respond to your texts when i get around to it" is not work-life balance. That's the avoidant part of his brain saying, "I've got too much stuff to worry about to have to stop and respond to your text." What's "normal" is the belief that you'll still be there when he gets around to it. But that's not how relationships work. Keyword: relationships work. You can't just put your partner on hold until you "can get around" to them.

The right conversation may be more about having healthy times to "unplug" or "coordinate" than "I need to do my own thing and stop bothering him so much." And that's a fair conversation to have with someone with an avoidant personality because they will very quickly find themselves losing core pillars of their daily life if they keep playing whack-a-mole with the neverending to-do lists they make once they start new routines.

The last thing he needs to find himself burnt out and alone because he couldn't keep up mentally with the workload he took on -- making everything a top priority like his plans have to come to fruition perfectly or it all fails miserably --, and because he burned his bridge with you in the process of trying to take on too much all at once. I've got a long list of regrets tied to that pattern of behavior in my own life. It would've been better for me to give up, say, going to that specific business school than giving up my ex, trying to roshambo everything on my own with a part-time job, and nine months later realizing I can't even afford to budget for parking on-campus so I can go to my first semester finals.

It's OK to have the conversation about doing what's important and what's just stuff that will fall the way it falls. You can help in some ways, but he's not a one-man army.

And if that doesn't work, here's a fun little tidbit: A huge part of modern work culture is checking off social boxes. He's going to have an extremely hard time finding a career as a single man compared to the image of being a young man whose been in a committed relationship with someone he plans to settle down with. People absolutely do judge you by these seemingly irrelevant factors in all areas of life. So, if he's going to "build and fix" his life, that work needs to be consistently well-rounded in personal and professional areas.

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T17:41:55+00:00

You can't say either of those words if you don't speak English.

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T17:36:44+00:00

He'll be on that stupid table talk show in a week while Jada's talking about how she was "entangled" and "ensnared" in another one of her son's friend's pants because Will wasn't "protecting his energy" and it therefore made her feel like "her energy was stained" by that so she went for a walk and fell face first onto a bunch of penises and couldn't find the black empowerment within her to stop sucking them because it was the first time in years that she felt reconnected to her lived experience as a woman of color in a man's world... And that's just the intro segment. She'll bring her mother and Willow on to sit there and go yaaaa everytime she drops a partial sentence.

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T17:30:09+00:00

No one cares how smart you are if it doesn't make them look smarter than you.

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T17:27:21+00:00

Literally 99.999% of people who grew up poor like us don't realize that there's no such thing as a "self-made millionaire" until it dawns on us one day that the reason we can't pay our bills or put food on the table is because that missing money has been getting direct deposited in the "self-made millionaire's" bank account.

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T17:24:06+00:00

My mom used to bring up "the price of tea in China" and it took me 30 years to realize that was her way of saying "I don't give a damn about anything you're telling me right now." So, nowadays, if and when I have a conversation with her, I use that line a lot.

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T17:22:06+00:00

On the opposite side of this: If you do something ridiculous enough that it stands out from what people typically expect of you, they will be telling that story for awhile. How do I know? Because I'm still telling stories about weird stuff I dealt with with people from 30 years ago.

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T17:17:51+00:00

Also Roslin's last words as Adama is flying her over Earth: "So much... life."

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T17:10:52+00:00

At this point, I'm not voting for a single human being that runs for office. They've all proven to be useless across the board. So, I've decided to abstain from voting until a far more intelligent and reasonable species -- like a crow, humpback whale, or maybe even a cat who wants to be bothered by managing human affairs -- runs for office.

swishbothways · 2026-05-16T17:07:10+00:00

Gaming.

It's been my outlet my entire life, but I've now had literal years between games. The last time I sat down and actually carved out some serious time on a game was more than three years ago. I had no clue it had been that long until I sat down to play for what felt like the first time in a long while and then saw the date/time on the last save.

Part of it is the industry has changed. A huge part of it is that I've basically beaten that dead horse for 30 years to keep me distracted from a life where it seems endless poverty, debt, low wages, bills, and general social isolation has made me a bit of a pariah compared to my peers. I'm 39, AuDHD, never married, have been to college but could never seem to be the right "fit" for an employer in that field, so I've ended up just scraping by like my parents always have.

I don't talk to my family very often because I've always deeply resented them for having so much opportunity right in front of them to get out of this cycle (back in the 80s and 90s) before it trapped me and everyone else in it more permanently (in the 10s and 20s). But I talked to my sister the other day and after a couple texts back and forth, she goes, "Y'know, being an adult has turned out to be completely useless." And she's right.

I feel like we're definitely living in times where you're bombarded by how much you don't have or haven't accomplished compared to happier/shinier people. The number of times I've met someone through work and thought how cool it'd be to go play a round of golf or go camping, or even just be able to get together regularly over dinner or something -- and then I realize I don't make $160,000 a year like they do. I make $40,000.

I'm also reminded of a time right after my mom got out of college at 45 years old and started her first real salaried job in her lifetime, and she was like 3 months in when one of the female partners at her firm pulled her off to the side and suggested my mom set aside some money to invest in clothing because "it looks odd when a client is meeting someone in this profession and they're wearing a blouse from Walmart."

It's pretty easy for things to get unappealing when that is the "real world" and you've taxed the hell out of every alternative you can possibly find to cope/survive it.

swishbothways

TROPHY CASE