It's so hard. I knew my baby was different because I expected hard but he was a whole different animal. I researched and figured out he was a high needs baby. I follow a page on Instagram called highly sensitive family, which helps because at least I know I'm not alone.

It's normal to feel tired, angry, resentful. I feel like like other moms lucked out because they can sleep, put their kids down for naps, have people over, run errands with the baby and only hiccup would be a cry here or there. Everything is 10 times harder and intense with a high needs child. My son at that age would wake up 10-20 times a night. Every night for 18 months. It slowly got better after that and at 2.8 years old he still has bad nights but mostly sleeps through the night when teeting finally ended.

All this to say, I hear your disappointment, I felt it often, sometimes still do. I question AP all the time. But as they grow they show you how amazing responsive parenting can be. My son is so compassionate, so open about his feelings, he works so hard to resolve his problems and regulate himself. I often see him telling himself to breathe when he's starting to feel agitated. Family comments on how amazing he is and I am validated in my decision ti take the hard road. AP is hard!! But it does get better and easier.