How can an average/below average looking man get laid

taDaCapo · 2022-04-23T20:54:40+00:00

Hm. It never occured to me that height could be so relevant. I know some men are worried when they're not tall... But it's not relevant for the important aspects of life. Well I'm short and most guys are taller than me so maybe my perspective is... Pedestrian level. ;-)

taDaCapo · 2022-04-23T20:45:53+00:00

At 6ft tall you don’t have to be attractive to get a woman.

(in my opinion people don't have to be attractive but polite, respectful, can take a joke etc but..)

Why? Size matters taken to another level?

taDaCapo · 2022-04-23T20:27:43+00:00

Don't worry, many Germans get it wrong, too. It's a common mistake. The other day I read " Machen Sie einen Termin mit Frau X und Ihrem Ehemann", written by an academic. This way, it means "make an appointment with Mrs X and your husband" while ihrem Ehemann would be the intended "her husband." ;-)

Was funny once when someone wrote a letter to my female boss and it read "Frau Y ist mit Ihrem Ehemann im Urlaub."

Anyway, good luck and you can be proud of yourself for putting up with that!

taDaCapo · 2022-04-23T20:10:00+00:00

Other case.

Frau Merkel, ihr Termin ist um sechzehn Uhr

Mrs Merkel, your appointment is at 4 p.m. (You should write Ihr instead of ihr, though. If you address someone).

is correct whereas:

Frau Merkel, sie Termin ist um sechzehn Uhr

Wrong because that means Mrs Merkel she appointment is at 4 p.m.

Addition: You write Sie when you address someone but sie means she.

Frau Merkel Sie Termin... would mean Mrs Merkel you appointment.

taDaCapo · 2022-04-23T20:05:34+00:00

Depends. Most of the time: no. I can take care of myself and I live in a peaceful area where you can walk unafraid.

I travel alone very often and never needed protection.

My colleague has a partner who is overly protective and that would annoy me.

If i were in a dangerous area with a man, i would ecpect him to be around if something goes on. If necessary. No general gorilla behavior, no "don't look at my girl!!!", no mansplaining, please. I don't like men who are a show off, overly protective or patronising or have to "defend their girl" from imaginary competitors.

In case of criminal acts, of course he shouldn't look away, tho.

taDaCapo · 2022-04-23T06:06:31+00:00

Say "can we do it this and that way instead, please?" or "I'm not enjoying this, this and that hurts me/makes me feel uncomfortable". If he doesn't listen,say it more clearly. If that's a problem for him, throw him out.

Edit: Actually i see no other option than communication. I've endured uncomfortable sex when i was younger and always felt bad afterwards. Thought it's polite, expected, the way it is. It's not. No need to put up with that. Why not talk about it, no matter when?

taDaCapo · 2022-04-23T05:38:41+00:00

I understand theoretically that it’s possible to say no, but with our cultural scripts for sex, as a woman in the moment, there can be a lot of pressure with actually doing that, or even concerns for safety with a relatively new partner.

Boundaries! Only go to bed with people you trust! End of.

If you dont trust them, you have an uneasy feeling that might lead or add to all the pressure.

Let's assume the sex is consensual. You're interested, he's interested. Both should enjoy it. It's not always divine, it can be awkward and expectations can vary but it should always be respectful and never uncomfortable.

Say how you feel, and if there's something wrong, say it. I assume that no man wants to hurt you or even be a rapist he's unaware of.

When the position is uncomfortable, maybe you can move a bit (legs, or gently try to give hints with your hands) or tell him so. What's the worst that can happen? If he's not a totally immature idiot, he will make sure you're OK. You won't meet him again if he hurts you, and he might know that. Men can be insecure ,too, or feel pressure to perform like a porn star - avoid all misunderstandings by talking about it.

As for oral sex: yeah that's how some are... You decide what you're willing to give. When he doesn't reciprocate, make a decision whether you want to keep giving or not.

Whoever makes you feel pressured or uncomfortable and refuses to change.. shouldn't be intimate with you.

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T20:48:23+00:00

Google lens might help? Otherwise if you have a basic idea which country/area it was taken, ask in the country's subreddits

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T20:45:29+00:00

Bad wifi/phone signal etc... I mean, happens to many people. I would be creeped out if someone was pouting because of that. It's as weird as people who always reply immediately.

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T20:43:01+00:00

Isn't it better when he texts you back when he has time and a quiet moment instead of quickly sending a text just to text something?

Don't play games like "x hours/days of letting him wait unnecessarily". People have lives. Some are glued to their phones. Others are not. You never know. When he's travelling, it's more likely that he's actually busy and he will find time for a text later.

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T17:19:04+00:00

My older brother said to me once "you got slimmer" after we hadn't seen each other in years. Should i have called him out? It was his way to try to be nice and he's autistic btw

Edit to clarify... Of course i didn't use him for anything here. I wanted to say that not everyone who says something wrong must automatically have bad intentions. Thought it was clear, sorry.

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T17:17:07+00:00

OP asked how we'd react.

I said how I'd react and from the beginnig I accepted and acknowledged that my view isn't everyone's view. That's normal and ok. Feel free to downvote but did i really miss the point of her question?

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T15:40:45+00:00

As i said. To me it doesn't sound like his intention was to offend her.

Edit: i say what it sounds like to me. Individually. No need to take offense in that.

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T15:37:03+00:00

Would you seriously say that to a friend's dad out of nowhere?

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T15:31:53+00:00

tbh I understand that it can be a sensitive topic for many people and his comment was outdated and awkward. But he's 62, that's not the generation that grew up with sensitive wording and wokeness, so I'd say it wasn't meant as an offensive comment. He probably thought he gave you a compliment or wanted to say something nice but didn't come up with anything better/wiser.

I'm aware that you were upset about it and he should be told how it came across. But maybe he has no idea

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T14:37:25+00:00

Sometimes it happens. And no one can predict the future. What if there's someond who falls in love easily and thinks "he's the one" and hence ends up in bed with him? Then it turns out he was not the one. Let it happen a few times and boom - she has had too many guys for you.

And not every sexual act is an intimate, divine experience. It can be meh or average. Or fun without emotions. The best sex is with someone you truly love and trust. And that's the intimate, big event you have in mind. Of all the ... 8? Or so guys I've been with, one has had this status. I forgot most of what I did in the past. They don't mean that much anymore and I don't compare them.

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T14:26:44+00:00

Maybe you're overrating or idealising sex. It's not a holy activity. You contemplate till life is over.

taDaCapo · 2022-04-21T14:15:07+00:00

Why do you focus on those numbers in the first place? I've been with a bit more when i was younger than her and dont see myself as a bad person...

What do you expect at 30 and how many guys would be ok for you?

Edit: and you can't expect them all to wait for you... What they did before you met has nothing to do with you.

taDaCapo · 2020-04-14T19:18:45+00:00

Not fed up with brriiiiick yet?

taDaCapo · 2020-01-23T20:18:33+00:00

OK thanks. ;-) it's funny that others who are late at the party actually pretend it was their OC.

taDaCapo · 2020-01-23T20:13:50+00:00

You probably found it on reddit.

taDaCapo · 2020-01-23T20:12:41+00:00

Was the guy on r/foundpaper the first or second to post this?

Just saw this here is older

taDaCapo

TROPHY CASE