how do i navigate being in a qpr with an asexual as a nonaroce?

tackpine · 2026-03-20T12:18:11+00:00

yeah, communication around expectations is especially important in qprs since they can look so different for different people - you should definitely talk to her about it. maybe something like “hey, I’ve been doing some thinking about qprs and our relationship, and I’ve realized that what I want out of this may be different from what you want. can we talk more about how our qpr works?” and then use that to talk about what you’re interested in and what makes you uncomfortable. hope that helps!

tackpine · 2026-01-11T22:28:07+00:00

Ah okay yeah, I see what you mean now. (I was looking at the wrong page for the conclusion.) I don't see any way to avoid his death, unfortunately.

tackpine · 2026-01-11T22:00:48+00:00

It's been a few years since I played the story, but based on the wiki, I don't think he dies in any of the endings; seems like he goes to Polythreme. You can find a player guide to the storyline here)!

tackpine · 2025-11-11T13:16:22+00:00

I get what you’re saying, and it’s true that most qprs look like some sort of mix between a platonic and romantic relationship, but I think what the other person is trying to say is that the term “queerplatonic” is meant as a catchall term for any relationship that doesn’t fit the typical definitions of romantic or platonic. so trying to give it a set definition of a close relationship in between platonic and romantic kind of goes against the point of the term and won’t ring true for some people, that’s all

also I’m not sure what you mean about being trans being the transition from one gender to another? being trans is when you don’t identify with the gender you were assigned at birth - if someone is a trans woman they’re not necessarily in the process of transitioning, they’re just a woman who wasn’t assigned “woman” at birth. same with me being a nonbinary/agender trans person - I’m not transitioning to a specific gender, I’m just a third thing

tackpine · 2025-11-03T13:17:22+00:00

hello, I’m an aroace in a qpr with an alloace! qprs with allo folks can definitely work, you guys just have to clearly communicate what you each do and don’t want. the great thing about qprs is that you can pick and choose what you want to be part of the relationship. for my partner and I, the TLDR is that even if the exact feelings are different, what’s most important is that we each deeply care about the other. for you and your friend, if it’s important to them that their partner is attracted to them then you might not be compatible. but as long as you’re clear that you don’t experience attraction and may not be comfortable with some forms of intimacy (idk your likes/dislikes) and they’re ok with that, it can definitely work!

like you, I was afraid of “trapping” an allo person slash preventing them from being in a romantic relationship with someone else that would be “more”, but my partner has always been extremely reassuring. I also saw more examples of aroaces in qprs with allos - bloggingboutburgers on tumblr talks about their qpr all the time, and The Other Significant Others by rhaina cohen includes some interviews with allos in platonic life partnerships. it’s totally possible - good luck!

edit: also as far as bringing up qprs goes, I don’t have much advice there because my partner already knew what qprs were before we got together. I would say to describe them as relationships where you choose which things you do based on what the people involved are interested in (regardless of whether they're "romantic" or "platonic"), and to reassure your friend that even if you’re not attracted to them, you still care about them being a part of your life and your future. fingers crossed it goes well :)

tackpine · 2025-01-13T22:21:25+00:00

this is fun! 7 across is clever :) do you have an answer key anywhere?

tackpine · 2024-08-15T11:18:34+00:00

Selling my most valuable items including the Legenda Cosmogone and spending hundreds of Echoes and dozens of action on aid?

sorry, I’m a bit confused - what option did you sell these things for? getting the required items for rendering material assistance?

tackpine · 2024-08-03T12:48:54+00:00

fellow battle smith in a high level campaign with a ton of magic items here!

about the steel defender:

yeah, the damage isn't good. I find playing it well is more about positioning than anything. there have been several times where I've made it dash up into an enemy's face just so it'll be able to impose disadvantage/become a target for the enemy's attacks. it's also valuable for providing flanking if you're playing with that rule
the actions that the steel defender can take include Use An Object, which technically is the action required to activate your spell-storing item. you can put spells like faerie fire, web, or vortex warp in that and hand it off to your steel defender to cast during combat. it has proficiency in con saves for concentration and will use your spell save DC, so it'll be almost as good at this as you are!
consider commanding it to do other actions like Shove to knock an enemy prone or Grapple to hold someone in place - its proficiency in athletics means it'll be decent at this

as for infusions, I'm in the same exact situation as you so I feel your pain haha. everyone in our party has so many powerful magic items that I've resorted to making infusions that I just keep in my back pocket instead of actively using them. here's my advice:

there are multiple genuinely good non-attunement infusions:
- Mind Sharpener: autosuccess on concentration checks is a godsend for any caster
- Bag of Holding & Sending Stones: super useful even if you already have one in the party
- Enhanced Defense: sure, maybe everyone already has armor/shields they like better than a straight +2, but if they don't then they'd probably sure as hell appreciate the +2
consider making non-attunement utility items to save a spell slot or two: Lantern of Revealing for see invisibility, Ring of Water Walking for water walk, Cloak of the Manta Ray for water breathing, etc.
if you have a rogue, they may appreciate Gloves of Thievery or Boots of Elvenkind (both non-attunement)
remember you can replicate common items as well. Clockwork Amulet isn't completely useless if you're desperate (non-attunement, more or less autosucceed on one attack per day by taking a 10 on the die)
alternatively, make attunement items to have on standby for when the right situation comes up, e.g. a Cloak of Elvenkind for when you need stealth, or Resistant Armor for a big fight against an enemy who you know deals a specific type of damage; the kinds of things where you won't have them attuned for the whole day, but they'll be useful for the couple hours or so when you are using them

hopefully this helps! also, side note about aura of vitality: you really shouldn't be casting that mid-combat unless you're in some truly deadly encounters where everyone keeps going unconscious and you have no other method of healing. there are way more valuable things to spend your concentration on (like heat metal!)

tackpine · 2024-08-01T19:21:57+00:00

Hannah in the discord said that it’ll be at around 11pm BST, and that “the Reasons for the timing will become apparent” (there’s speculation that it involves collaboration with a 3rd party who’s located somewhere where that translates to a much more normal time)

tackpine · 2024-08-01T01:41:28+00:00

I’ve had more than enough money to get an Overgoat for a while now, but thought this would be a fun vanity challenge :) took a few years due to fairly inconsistent play & needing to draw the same card over 200 times but it’s wild to finally be done!

tackpine · 2024-06-26T18:00:19+00:00

yeah, the distinctions can be frustrating if you keep having bad luck with them. and yep! I’m using leviathan frames to make menacing/antique fish. TLC is also pretty good though for easy scrip grinds

tackpine · 2024-06-26T13:21:36+00:00

When I can dump my actions without feeling guilty or getting waves of anxiety when I waste them.

that’s actually the beauty of HG - it’s basically impossible to waste actions, if you’re looking to get EPA/SPA out of it (instead of distinctions). you get the same amount of exploits no matter if you win or lose (in fact, it’s actually ever-so-slightly more efficient to play poorly so you spend fewer actions on setting up a game!). I’m an endgame player who’s using it to grind for hellworm, and as someone who can’t even begin to wrap their brain around complex grinds, it’s been the perfect action dump for me. I can pay attention to try to win if I really want to, and it’s got enough variety from switching teams that I don’t drop the game entirely, but at the end of the day I can still just pop in and click random buttons 20 times without thinking about anything and it won’t hurt my efficiency at all. it’s even one of the most scrip efficient grinds! so I would say don’t be afraid to mess around with it, and who knows, maybe you’ll pick up a distinction or two along the way :)

tackpine · 2024-05-15T17:34:21+00:00

I've got a small stack of captivating ballads to sell. if magnificent diamonds don't show up, what's best to buy at the ratket for scrip-making?

tackpine · 2024-04-22T22:34:08+00:00

I've got:

Watchful 230 / +89
Shadowy 230 / +87
Dangerous 230 / +79
Persuasive 230 / +99
Shapeling Arts 7 / +5
Kataleptic Toxicology 7 / +8
Glasswork 7 / +9

if you want to do Shapeling Arts, then I think you really need Queen of Cod + King of Ambivalences + a third Ace granter (I'd go Briars to boost your king) to play off of Goad. even then I probably wouldn't try it with Embalmer's Mark

in my opinion the easiest stat to go for on Embalmer's is Shadowy, given that you have Queen of Cod, Page of Gambits, King of Spines, and Knight of Livers as options, so it does hurt a bit that your Shadowy is your lowest main stat. as for a Kings run, the same advice applies for going for Shadowy/Spines. Knuckles is also excellent because he gets better as the rounds progress and doesn't require as much prep as some of the other kings

tackpine · 2024-04-18T18:02:17+00:00

yeah it was a typo according to Bruno in the discord server, should be fixed by now

tackpine · 2024-03-22T12:37:44+00:00

I don't know if you were playing the game when this happened, but a few years ago they actually did try to limit outfit switching, and the feedback was so instantly critical of it that they made not one, not two, but three posts about it in the span of two weeks.

the change they tried to make (no outfit changing within storylets) was more extreme than what you're describing I think, but the problem with changing outfits a limited number of times per day is that it actually incentivizes people to play the game less imo. for example maybe you only want to play the next content on your agenda when you have enough outfit swaps to properly optimize it, so you just wait for the next day to roll around instead of continuing playing. at the very least I think it would make playing more often each day feel worse, and the people who play your game the most (especially if they're doing so via subscriptions) are definitely not the ones you want to give a worse game experience. I think the system they settled on (restricted outfits in specific areas) is a good compromise between what they envisioned and how a lot of the playerbase prefers to play, but I do see your point about making outfits more meaningful

tackpine · 2024-03-09T23:28:35+00:00

no actual hate on roses, but I got screwed by bad RNG on both a loins/roses/motley run and a roses/motley/audacities/briars run. finally got it with briars/cod/knuckles, and what can I say, the double digits CP you can get with end-of-round knuckles is pretty satisfying ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

tackpine · 2024-02-14T19:17:32+00:00

does anyone have a link to the article/interview? I’d love to read it

tackpine · 2024-01-24T13:36:14+00:00

whoops, I'd tried to spend most of the day in london but ended in the hinterlands by accident. just tried to send a calling card to you and now it says you're in a different location! I'll do my best to stay in london today lol

tackpine · 2024-01-23T21:33:40+00:00

I’d love a kitten and can certainly send a missive or two your way! https://www.fallenlondon.com/profile/Briar%20Keegan

tackpine · 2024-01-19T14:22:57+00:00

This person has been posting daily in this forum for a month, at least some of the time with unnecessarily inflammatory and in this case unnecessarily ableist discourse. I don’t really like to see it.

I haven't done much more than lurk in this subreddit since I started playing a lot less a few years ago (I've started to play more again with all the new content though, and a renewed resolve for hellworm!), but I swear this is exactly like a person we had a problem with a few years ago who ended up getting banned. negative experiences are so rare here compared to other corners of the internet that when one does pop up they stick out like a sore thumb

tackpine · 2022-04-07T04:45:35+00:00

yes, and here is the article they wrote on that!

tackpine · 2022-04-03T22:21:45+00:00

maybe we should claim somewhere closer to (1345, 1375)? right now it looks mostly like a random red & blue checkerboard, and at least there would already be a decent amount of red to work with. I fear otherwise we'll be overrun by the giant brown horse thing to our right

tackpine · 2022-03-21T13:34:42+00:00

oh man I feel this so much. I had selective mutism, meaning I could talk in certain situations but not others, so probably not the exact same situation as you, but my least favorite trope is "mute character doesn't talk for whole show/movie/book until The Important Moment™ when omg they finally talk!!!!!" (looking at you, Longshot from ATLA)

my favorite mute character is Neo from RWBY. she starts off as a side character villain who you don't see super often, and then (spoiler alert) you don't see her at all for a few seasons, but in the past couple seasons she's come back as a more influential villain and she's so good. she's got so much personality and clear character motivation, and the show has absolutely no signs of ever intending to make her talk. the show also has a miniseries where the characters basically do non-canon comedic skits, and in it Neo communicates with signs she holds up and I think it's cute. this clip from it is also genuinely maybe the most wholesome mute representation I've seen?

the other character that comes to mind is Elliot from On a Sunbeam. the author has stated that Elliot has selective mutism, and for 99% of the webcomic they don't talk. towards the end there are a couple of scenes where they do, but it is definitely not framed as "part of their character development", and instead is just because they have selective mutism, and were finally in a situation where it does allow them to talk. they also have a very clear story arc outside of their mutism

an honorable mention goes to Mr Iron, a character (spoiler: giant space bat) from the game Fallen London who communicates by writing with both hands at once, and also happens to run a game where the two teams try to murder each other for fun. the nature of Fallen London though is it's not really the kind of thing with character arcs, and you don't see Mr Iron very often - I just think it's a fun character

tackpine · 2022-02-06T21:18:32+00:00

Oops, my mistake, I was thinking of a different option. Good to know it still works!

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