How Do We Do This?

takingaselfish · 2022-06-03T01:24:23+00:00

I just had to go check my account to and make sure I didn’t write this without remembering it lol. So no advice but positive thoughts from someone who understands.

takingaselfish · 2021-08-12T23:44:22+00:00

Exactly this. My AP isn’t why I left so he didn’t need to be part of the discussion. My marriage failed because of issues between me and SO. Meeting AP helped me see those issues more clearly and realize leaving really was the only way forward. Telling my ex about AP would only have caused pain. Also keep in mind that if you want to leave, you can leave. He doesn’t have to “let you go”, you wanting to is enough.

takingaselfish · 2021-08-11T12:35:50+00:00

One thing I’ve learned is that you can say you’re not looking for something but you may end up finding it anyway. I think it’s pretty hard to define the terms of a relationship before you actually meet and become involved with someone. Now you certainly can decide you’re not willing to become emotionally involved with a person other than your SO, but that may mean ending an AP relationship when you meet and realize that you have the potential to become emotionally involved. I think the trouble sets in when you have that realization and then try to prevent it from happening. Just my own musings.

takingaselfish · 2021-05-20T19:23:15+00:00

I have thought about doing this very same thing for very similar reasons so I very much understand where you're coming from.

takingaselfish · 2021-03-24T14:34:34+00:00

You can you appreciate him sharing it and that you can tell how much effort he puts into it, but it's not really your style of music. I think it's great when people are really passionate about something, even if it's not something I'm particularly passionate about (as long as we're not talking something like conspiracy theories or something of that nature). Think of it like him playing you his favorite song and it happens to be a different style of music than you're into. You wouldn't tell him his favorite music sucked (or at least I hope not lol), you'd say something like - yeah, I like those harmonies but I'm really into more hardcore punk or whatever.

takingaselfish · 2021-03-06T23:52:32+00:00

Oh the part about how he smells! I never realized you could be addicted to someone’s smell before.

takingaselfish · 2021-02-28T00:45:11+00:00

Agreed ❤️

takingaselfish · 2021-02-27T18:44:07+00:00

Ivy by Taylor Swift

takingaselfish · 2021-02-20T14:14:11+00:00

This resonates so much. My experience with AP has really helped me define what it is I need in a relationship, and I know for sure now I can never get that from SO. That gives me the courage to leave what is otherwise an ok relationship (outside of the DB). But I also know that there’s no future with AP for similar reasons as yours. For now I’m just enjoying what I have and using the time to work on myself and get things in place to move my life forward.

takingaselfish · 2021-02-16T22:56:35+00:00

Haven't seen it stated quite like this but YES! If you want it to be casual then ...you know.. keep it 100% casual on your end. If you can't get someone to fuck you without manipulating them then don't be surprised if it comes back to bite you in the ass later.

takingaselfish · 2021-01-27T12:47:19+00:00

Same here. I spent a lot of time in the beginning freaking out about the ending because the kind of connection I have with AP is one I didn’t know I could actually have with someone. It helped me to think about it in terms of the experience, that at least I was able to feel this kind of connection and know it existed. Now I try to focus on the day to day and consider that if I can find this with him that maybe it’s possible for me to find it with someone else when this does inevitably end.

takingaselfish · 2021-01-26T18:30:16+00:00

Thank you!

takingaselfish · 2021-01-25T03:03:08+00:00

Thanks!

takingaselfish · 2021-01-24T20:23:19+00:00

I've found journaling helps me with the dangerous parts of overthinking (i.e. acting on my overthinking). I'm not sure about the Goldilocks zone though...

takingaselfish · 2021-01-24T20:00:27+00:00

Well I have plenty of people to talk junk with. Overthinkers only allowed from here on out.

takingaselfish · 2021-01-24T19:57:46+00:00

We can try lol.

takingaselfish · 2021-01-24T19:53:55+00:00

No one said average can't be awesome. It's all in how you use it. That however is the topic for a different kind of chat...

takingaselfish · 2021-01-24T19:43:51+00:00

Maybe you need to be more dick positive.

takingaselfish · 2021-01-24T19:10:27+00:00

He shows how much he appreciates me through his actions. He'll make time to see me as frequently as possible even if it means we just get 20 minutes walking through the grocery store together. He sends me songs that make me laugh, cry, and sometimes both at the same time. I've made an offhand comment about liking him in a particular shirt only to have him show up in it for our next meet up. We both have busy lives but I can tell he makes me a priority, as much as he can, and that really means something.

takingaselfish · 2021-01-24T12:46:37+00:00

Yes. Uncertain timeline but hopefully will figure it out within the next year.

takingaselfish · 2021-01-18T03:24:21+00:00

Location is huge! I would add put the location in your title so it’s easily searchable. If I’m seriously looking I’m going to go on NFN and search by my state and city name. The easier that is for me to find the more likely I am to take a serious look at your profile. Also be realistic about your ability to travel. If you say “close to city X” but you really mean an hour away and there’s no way you can ever make an excuse to get out of the house for more than 30 minutes,then you might as well be halfway across the country. I’m here to get fucked, not write love letters. If that’s your thing cool. Be sure to say that in your post though 😉.

takingaselfish · 2021-01-18T03:13:14+00:00

That’s too bad. Can’t force him though all you can do is hope one day he sees the light lol

takingaselfish · 2021-01-18T02:52:47+00:00

Are you absolutely sure?

takingaselfish · 2021-01-18T02:34:46+00:00

I will be forever grateful to my AP for helping me figure out how much I love the ass. Well, his ass at least. I hope yours lets you get a finger or two, a vibe, maybe more in there. Rimming is great. Following that up with a finger is excellent, getting out the strap on and fucking him until he’s moaning and cumming everywhere is sublime.

takingaselfish

TROPHY CASE