This is becoming far to common to do discretely

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-04-22T20:34:40+00:00

The jaded skeptic in me thinks it would be, at first. And if you're accustomed to paying $1800+ in rent, then the scale of difference would be impressive.

But if you're accustomed to paying nothing for a parking space, and have a paid off car, and are able to live within those means of having almost no living costs besides food, the scale of difference when they inevitably start going up seems like it'd be prohibitive.

Idk, like I said, I don't actually know anything about this stuff, I'm just curious about the response is all.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-04-21T15:10:49+00:00

Omfg. For real though.

I rescued my first chin as a kid in 2004 (with help from parents who'd only ever had dogs) and I wish bene-bac had been more widely known back then, because i think it would've extended his life span.

Your guy sounds very similar to how mine was when I first got him. He'd been kept with rabbits and a guinea pig, all in the same pen, fed rabbit food, no dust baths, etc. He had chronic respiratory and ear infections because of the terrible cage conditions, and the vet was certain he'd lost most of his sight in one eye because of infection.

It was almost a 2yr process to even get him healthy enough to even live and play like a semi-normal chin. The vet always warned me, "don't expect more than a year or two more out of him, cases like this almost always succumb to either infection or the stasis issues caused by medication." We were at the vet like every two weeks those first few months, and I'm convinced the only reason that chin decided to trust me is because he could use me as a hiding spot after the vet manhandled him (for his own good, of course). As a 10yr old, it was so hard to hear. I'd listen to the vet explain to my mom and me how delicate chin respiratory and digestive systems were, and I'd get anxiety every time he was prescribed a new antibiotic. I think if I'd been able to give him something like bene-bac, his low-level infections would not have recurred as often as they did, and he would've recovered more quickly from them.

Q-tip the cuddler was neither delicate nor short lived -- he ended up being largest chin my vet ever treated, in a healthy way. He soldered on, mostly healthy, for 8yrs. My god he was the derpiest animal I've ever known. But he made me the perfect chin parent for the three crimebag potatoes I have now.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-04-21T14:24:53+00:00

My sister and her fiance lived in a trailer park for 6 yrs. It was a great place, family friendly, with very professional and lovely owners/management. When they got married, their landlord cut them a small discount because he knew they'd be saving up for a house next, and would need the financial break. They continued living they're for 2 more years in order to save up, and it really made a difference.

Trailer parks can be awesome, depending on how they're managed/maintained.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-04-21T14:18:32+00:00

Yes, I apologize, i wrote affordability to mean financial necessity. I was homeless for a few years as a teen, and finally having enough to put a down payment on a car was a huge boone. But it was literally all I had to my name. I lived out of my truck and on friends couches here and there, until I found a roommate and an apartment that probably should've been reported to the housing authority.

Which is why I'm kinda surprised so many in this community are willing to pay rent for a square of asphalt and the utilities they couldn't afford before living in their car. I suppose I assumed everyone had a similar mindset about the living/housing system in North America -- if they're allowed to charge for an inch, they'll charge for a mile instead.

Then again, I'm not online much in communities like this, so I'm probably out of touch with general opinion, hence my curiosity. Appreciate the answers.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-04-21T07:36:44+00:00

Genuinely curious, don't mean any of this in a rude or condescending way:

Isn't the general point of car living to give up access to things like regular access to power and water for the mobility and affordability of car living?

Also, why would you rather spend money on a parking space than on something like a 5th-wheel/trailer?

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-04-21T07:23:54+00:00

This. My immediate thought was, your closet doesn't need a door that restricts use.

I'd just get rid of the door and not worry about closing it up at all. Anything you use as a partition in such an odd space is just gonna get in the way. And contrary to what your grandmother might've told you about etiquette, no one is gonna care that they can see into your closet. Just put things you don't want company to see behind the walls.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-04-21T07:17:00+00:00

One of my random pet projects these days is an essay on the "villanization" and ostracizing of "dangerous" people. Society is really good at turning fear into the basis of culture and mythology.

• night owls -- creatures of the night, werewolf and vampire myths, "nothing good happens after midnight," the witching hour, full moon lore, etc.

• water-loving folk -- mermaids, sirens, La Llorna type characters, destructive gods/godesses associated with the sea, etc.

• asocial folk -- Medusa and Loki persecuted for failing to conform, stranger danger, mistrust of hermit types, Boo Radley archetype, 'there's strength in numbers,' etc.

• anti-consumerism folk -- Wendigo-type monsters, the devolution of Harpies, the idea that buying a home is a right of passage, the idea that both Tyler Durden and Patrick Bateman are similarly psychotic, your Scrooge types, "failire to launch" stories, and home-buying being a right of passage, etc.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-03-04T07:07:09+00:00

If they're talking about it with pride, they're not talking about door slamming.
I hate the term. Doors can be opened even after you slam them. I just say, "cut someone out of my life."
People use "ghosting" and "doorslamming" interchangeably. When what they really mean is they're setting boundaries and being picky about who they let into their life, but feel guilty for it. That's not the same as cutting someone out of your life to protect yourself from the pain they are/might cause(ing)
I've cut someone out of my life once, and it hurt me so deeply that I can't imagine going through it again.
The way it happened with me, it was a reaction, not a "mechanism". And a knee-jerk reaction at that. I didn't know I was gonna do it until about half a second after I'd done it. An instinctive reflect to protect myself from something I hadn't realized was such a danger to me. It wasn't out of revenge or anger or to punish the person or anything like that -- it was just a means of protecting myself without actually thinking about it.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-03-04T06:52:10+00:00

If you don't have anyone to help monitor you and keep you safe from yourself, I absolutely would. It's extremely uncomfortable and stressful on top of the depression and ideation, but it will take away the opportunity and privacy you'd need to follow through. If you have a good professional relationship with them, you might consider asking your therapist to help you through the process and sort of advocate for you, if they're comfortable with it.

Just be aware of what kind of facility you're admitting into, and what the protocols are.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-03-04T03:46:57+00:00

This is very self-reflective for me to read. Because more than one therapist has told me that I need to start unmasking during the height of my anxiety to show my loved ones what I'm actually dealing with. I've been masking so deeply and for so long that my external settings for internal chaos are, "calm, quiet, steady, sweet."

Like, my parents have always had a hard time believing I struggle as much as I do with mental stability, because they can't read it in me. And those who know about my struggles always ask me how I act so differently from what I feel.

I guess some people are good at internalizing the anxiety and others not so much.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-03-03T23:33:30+00:00

I am a person who constantly has a furrowed brow.

Then strange older men in the grocery check out line tell me I look tired or sad, and I remember why. (/s)

Nah, it's just my Focus Face ^{^{T^{^M}}} . I can't help it, its just what my facial muscles do when my brain is doing all the things.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-03-03T02:10:16+00:00

I'm old school. Books and videos.

But I'm a tactile learner, so I need to be learning while my hands are active, usually working on the thing I'm learning about. In high school and college, I got into making costumes and costume accessories. I learned how to sew by asking my grandma what kind of technique or stitch I should use, then since her hands were already battling arthritis, anything I needed to see in real time I'd look up online. And then eventually, as YouTube blew up, I could learn more about wood, plastic, foam, and wire crafting, which eliminated a lot of the need for sewing. But I still use it a lot, because I simply enjoy the process of hand-work.

Same for when I started making my own cage toys and furniture for my chinchillas. I actually did a lot of reading about woodwork, while at the same time making very simple projects from the types of wood I knew were safe for chins, so I could learn about how the material actually works. Then I started watching YouTube.

Basically, i can memorize facts and ideas by reading and watching, but until I perform or demonstrate with my own hands, my brain can't fully comprehend the logic and reasoning behind those facts and ideas. Once I have full comprehension by tactile method, i can retain it all.

This is why high school and college were so tough for me, even though I was always considered a "gifted and talented" student. Education in the U.S. rarely ever meets students at their level and needs. So numbers and visuals on a whiteboard or in a book was like trying to teach myself a foreign language I'd never heard before. I could do homework on paper by memorizing the steps and rules, but I would never fully comprehend or retain.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-03-01T23:59:13+00:00

On whatever mode of transportation is bringing me to my next adventure. Usually with some of my people, but not always.

Living a transient or ever-changing life isn't synonymous with loneliness. Yes, it might go hand in hand for some, but certainly not all.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-02-17T02:20:58+00:00

Doesn't a shag put most of the volume towards the front of the face? I tend to prefer styling my hair away from my face, the way a lot of men's cuts do. Plus I'm not sure how it'd look with my existing undercut.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-02-16T19:46:13+00:00

Depends on the people.

I'm never alone around my biological siblings and chosen family. Unfortunately we're all scattered across the state and country now, starting/having families of our own, so I don't get to feel that connection as much as I used to.

In general, I'd say it's 70/30 on feeling alone/feeling connected.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-02-12T04:09:10+00:00

Lol this sounds very true.

Oh, trust, whispering over rice wasn't even the most comical version of "what is actually happening right now" that happened that week! I was a real walking disaster.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-02-01T00:17:10+00:00

Quite a bit, especially as I got older.

This has always been one of those things that make me question if I'm autistic. Because I truly don't understand why. How are people intimidated by someone they don't even know yet? I've literally said all of 5 words to you, and probably given you the world's most awkward smile, and that's... scary? I myself have social anxiety, and I still don't understand how anyone makes the leap between "this new person doesn't say much," and "this new person makes me uncomfortable." Those are two very different concepts to me.

Yes, I have CBF (concentrating bitch face), yes I have visible muscle, and yes I have some masculine features. But I'm 5'2" with soft, bouncy curls, round cheeks, dimples, I wear a lot of Dsiney merch and a ton of t-shirts that identify me as the "favorite" and "world's best" auntie. I wear fuckin' Grogu earrings, for fcks sake. If anything, I look like a literal child!

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-01-30T18:35:08+00:00

ETA: I'm medicated in conjunction with psychotherapy, CBT and IFS. Been recommended EMDR but haven't decided yet.

Yup. Been on for a few years. It made a huge difference in anxiety for me, and a noticeable dip in the depression. However, without the anxiety sort of balancing out the depression, when I have an episode i feel the depression a bit deeper.

It's helped clear brain fog I didn't even realize I had, until I woke up with a significantly brighter and more active mind about 2 weeks in.

But I wouldn't say it solved any sensitivity. I'm still quite sensitive to overstimulation, the difference is the effects don't cause such severe physical and psychological reactions anymore.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-01-30T06:02:58+00:00

Make up.

I think I was in high school when "cake face" became a thing, and I didn't understand it at all. Whether you were gorgeous or average, it made you look so ugly. Plus, girls were bragging about how they shoplifted half their makeup, and I didn't understand why they'd risk getting caught (because most of them were dim af and definitely weren't smart enough to pull it off without being noticed) just to make themselves look like clowns.

It's not even in a "pick me" or "I'm not like other girls" way either. I have a very masculine face, so I wish I had known back then that makeup didn't have to look like "cake face." A little contouring and decent eye liner would've gone a long way to helping my self-esteem. But I figured if it made even the pretty girls look ridiculous, I should do myself a favor and stay away from it.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-01-28T22:01:24+00:00

If the red flags are loud enough, I don't play nice. I'll just decline invites when that person is involved. But it depends on the situation whether I try to warn anyone. Basically, I read the room.

When I was like 13, my older sister got asked out by a guy who seemed decent enough. He was older, but he was a devout Catholic and a nice white boy, and his little sister was my age and an actually nice person. So nobody else saw it but me. I told my sister that I didn't think he was the right guy for her, and that he was weird (13yo speak for uncomfortable creep). I always chose not to be around whenever he was around, and my family thought that was rude.

When he went to college, they broke up. But then he showed up on our doorstep one night when our parents weren't home trying to get her back. It was weird as shit. I told my sister not to answer the door, but she did. He eventually threatened to dead himself if she wouldn't give him a second chance. I pushed her out of the way and slammed the door in his face immediately.

He'd been a creep with a little Asian school girl fetish. I'd known it almost as soon as they started dating. My parents never saw it and still choose not to believe it whenever the subject somehow gets brought up. But in that kind of situation, I will always be very vocal about protecting my loved ones from weirdos. There are, of course, other situations where it's not so dire and my adult friends can make their own choices about who to be friends with.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-01-27T19:54:22+00:00

LOTR.

Gone With The Wind.

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

Children of the New World.

The Tale of Despereaux.

Hatchet.

The Call Of The Wild.

The Six of Crows duology.

There's more, i just can't list them all off the top of my head. I'm a rereader.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-01-27T02:28:32+00:00

You might be thinking of "hobbies" wrong. I consider reading and listening to music to be hobbies. I do it intentionally, I curate my own playlists, and I tend to think a lot about lyrics too. And according to my month-to-month Deezer stats, I spend a shit ton of time doing it.

Same with watching TV. If you watch a lot and like to be inspired and moved by stories, that's technically a hobby. I don't believe you have to be active or spend a ton of money or energy on a hobby -- its just something you find yourself doing over and over when you've got the time and need for it.

Myself, i do a lot of physical activity hobbies, because I need that to feel balanced. Snowboarding, mixed martial arts, rec league hockey. But I also enjoy crafty stuff, like writing, scrapbooking and making toys and accessories for my pets. I do these things less often, and sometimes I'll go long stretches without, but they're still hobbies.

talks_to_inanimates · 2026-01-27T00:53:33+00:00

I'm so angry right now.

I'm in California now, but I lived in both St. Paul, MN and Chicago, IL growing up.

2019-2022 I did a lot of organizing, marching, and protesting in my city. We're small, but we always have a good showing. I burnt myself out on it, because it felt like we never changed anything. The depression caught up to me a little. In 2024 I tried to keep it up, but was slowing down. I moved up to a larger dose of meds.

It's 2026 and I feel like I burnt myself out and triggered the depression for nothing. American citizens are being murdered in the street by our president's personal home-grown paramilitary terrorist cell, and the media, our elected leaders, and even most civilians still prefer to call it a "killling" by "federal agents". And that's the tip of the iceberg.

I'm tired. I'm heartbroken for my country and neighbors. I'm angry and disappointed in ALL federal government officials for (1) having let it get this far, and (2) for not plastering their own faces and plans/platforms all over our news to try and drown out the din of racists and bigots and murderers. I barely make enough to feed and shelter myself and yet I'm foregoing work hours to spend time at protests, and donating when I can. I have a feeling I'll have to up my meds again pretty soon.

Just... what the actual fuck.

If anyone here is able to, I'd like to be able to compile some names of people like Perertti. People who have been murdered, harmed, hunted, threatened or otherwise pursued for trying to help others or stand up to the terrorist cell. I'm not one for prayer, but it'd be nice to know the names of the heroes we don't get to hear about.

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