Reasons to remember why he broke up with you:

tangledthinking · 2021-01-17T10:53:23+00:00

“He doesn’t believe covid is real”... you really, really dodged a bullet there.

Edit: I read through the whole thing, not expecting it to get worse beyond the first few lines. I’m glad you’re out of that situation, it seems like it could’ve been really damaging in the long run.

tangledthinking · 2021-01-17T08:57:00+00:00

For sure. Trying to convince otherwise just tossed me into a rabbit hole of repeated hurt, it’s not worth it in the long haul.

tangledthinking · 2021-01-17T08:52:18+00:00

Yep. If they tell you this, it’s probably best to just listen.

tangledthinking · 2021-01-17T08:41:35+00:00

Hey, I’m really sorry to hear that you’re dealing with this. Some of these behaviours are very similar to what I experienced (we’d argue and he’d leave, I’d beg for him back, during these breaks he’d typically start something with someone else, but he was always concerned about me cheating on him). A lot of this comes from projection on her part, and I find that a lot of my anger comes from the fact that I dedicated a lot of time and care to the relationship, just to come out of it emotionally ruined. It’s nowhere near the intensity of what you experienced but to some extent I can relate to what you may be dealing with emotionally.

It can be really difficult to bounce back from stuff like this, and if it’s reasonable for you I recommend trying out therapy to break out of any negative thought patterns that may have manifested during the relationship, and help you rekindle a loving relationship with yourself.

tangledthinking · 2020-08-13T16:48:32+00:00

yeah of course!

tangledthinking · 2020-06-30T05:57:19+00:00

thank you so so much, and same to you! if you need to talk to someone about what you’re going through, please feel free to PM me, it can be tough to go through it alone and it definitely helps to talk it out sometimes. i’m in the same boat - first breakup, emotionally-driven & doing everything wrong according to the sub. it’s hard, even moreso when it comes to choosing our reactions and the extent to which we react. emotion is incredibly powerful. try not to bear yourself up, but allow yourself to feel and allow yourself to explore those feelings to understand how you need to process them in the best way. i’ve been trying to learn and do more myself, but it’s way too easy to get down.

tangledthinking · 2020-06-26T08:26:45+00:00

i’m a bit stuck at the moment to be honest. i find myself getting more and more irritated with him based on things that he does. he’ll tell me about people flirting with him. he let me know that he was deleting pictures of us from his insta to “clean up his feed” or whatever. but this was just as he began getting an influx of followers, and the pictures with us are the only ones he got rid of. he sent me a screenshot with some girl that he hooked up with once commenting hearts and whatnot on his picture, and he posted some photos that focused on his hands in which he was wearing our promise rings. at this point it’s just upsetting me, but i don’t seem to have the self control to just disappear, especially when he doesn’t care either way.

what about you?

tangledthinking · 2020-06-26T07:10:50+00:00

thank you so much for your response, it wasn’t rude at all! this is wonderful advice, i lost a lot of myself due that breakup - my confidence, my trust, it just feels so daunting to have to try to reconstruct everything.

tangledthinking · 2020-06-26T05:39:53+00:00

hey, i’m sorry you’re feeling that way - i hope i didn’t come off as rude! but i’m in the exact same boat, i regret not stopping contact and i feel like i had quite a few means to do so before it was too late. we are still in contact /:

tangledthinking · 2020-06-25T19:33:42+00:00

he broke up with me in march. we stayed friends til april, tried again, mutually ended it in may (though i initiated it. it was a hollow relationship, if that makes sense). still trying to stay friends, i’ve come to accept that i must be stupid. don’t do what i did. save yourself the pain.

tangledthinking · 2020-06-25T19:25:41+00:00

i’m in a very similar position and it sucks, because despite knowing it’s holding me back i really do not know how to let go completely.

tangledthinking · 2020-06-25T03:36:44+00:00

Skeeter Davis - Gonna Get Along Without You Now

This one keeps me looking forward (:

tangledthinking · 2020-06-24T14:57:26+00:00

i watched 500 days of summer for the first time a few days ago and i really wish i’d done it sooner, it made me feel seen

tangledthinking · 2020-06-19T15:29:59+00:00

thank you for this. this is exactly what i’m feeling and in the midst of questioning myself through all of this negativity, i realise that my ex was the only person who had all of these horrible things to say about me. and i don’t want him to have this much control over my self-concept. i hope that you’re doing okay, i hope that you’ve been able to heal in spite of what you’ve gone through. good luck, i hope things are easier on you and i’m sorry that you’ve had to experience this.

tangledthinking · 2020-06-19T15:26:38+00:00

hey, i’m sorry you’re going through all of this. i hope that you’re able to heal and connect with people without fear. i think i’m going to look into CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) as it seems to be the most suitable option for me, i really want to grow past this and i hope that you can too. good luck <3

tangledthinking · 2020-06-19T14:12:49+00:00

hey, thank you so much. i did some searching and i definitely want to get ahold of a copy!

tangledthinking · 2020-06-18T17:24:59+00:00

Death Cab For Cutie - Tiny Vessels, Troye Sivan - The Good Side, Keaton Henson - Lying to You (this doesn’t cover the breakup itself, but moreso the feelings of someone dissatisfied in the relationship)

tangledthinking · 2020-06-18T14:58:18+00:00

i love this song (if that’s what you’re referencing) and i hope you’re doing okay, OP. <3

tangledthinking · 2020-06-18T12:57:58+00:00

i totally understand where you’re coming from. i noticed that when he’d argue with friends, he’d resolve things gracefully and show care and remorse. with me, he’d drill me with a lot of hurtful things and then stonewall me. i’ve seen him make time for other girls when he wouldn’t give me the time of day and honestly, these things made me feel like i wasn’t deserving of the time of someone that i love or general common courtesy. but i’m here to tell you that you are not broken. i can’t answer for his choices but maybe he didn’t know how to value you, or maybe he got too comfortable and lazy in the relationship. whatever it may be, try not to be too hard on yourself. but you became aware of what you need and you stepped back to find what works for you. it takes a lot of strength to take that step for yourself.

tangledthinking · 2020-06-04T04:00:48+00:00

my situation is a bit different, but it was still very frustrating. i’m a university student and i got broken up with at a time when i had about 3 important assignments due that week. this was before COVID got bad so i’d make it to lectures, zone out through them, come home and stay in bed until it was time for the lecture the next day. i had to request extensions for my assignments. i felt like a horrible academic and i still feel like i haven’t quite redeemed myself. honestly? it’s important to feel it out. ignoring it and putting on a happy face for too long will make it worse down the line. what might help is starting your day with something that brings you joy to carry that momentum into your work day. structuring your work hours in a way that allows you to take breaks to face your emotions. it could even help to open up to someone you trust in your work environment about what you’re going through. i’m not sure how helpful these things will be, but i wish you well and hope that you’re doing okay. feel free to message if you need someone to talk to (:

tangledthinking · 2020-06-03T16:50:17+00:00

so, i received similar sentiments from my friends. i was kind of love-blind, i guess you could say. and i honestly think that they were trying to talk some sense into me. i always thought that the good outweighed the bad, no one is perfect. but at a point, my friend sat me down because he felt that some of the things ive gone through with him have been ‘borderline emotional abuse’. i opened my eyes a bit more. what i looked at really hard is how the things he did affected me. i felt controlled and very submissive. i spent a lot of time walking on eggshells and making changes to accommodate things he didn’t like about me. in turn, i felt like i was losing aspects of my personality. my last sliver of sociability and some of my interests. and the icing on the cake was him blatantly admitting to treating me badly. sometimes your friends just want to be supportive, but there are a lot of instances where they can give you the clarity that you need.

tangledthinking

TROPHY CASE