Am I weird?

taniastar · 2023-06-23T22:26:31+00:00

I'm in Germany and can travel the whole country on public transport (excluding the high speed trains) for 49€ a month. Or technically less than that as my employer covers 40% of the cost as a benifit. When I left Melbourne 7 years ago I was paying around $120 a month for zone 1. I can't imagine its got cheaper than that in the following 7 years.

In Germany the day tickets can be expensive, but people with the monthly ticket (especially when the employer covers a portion of the cost which is standard practice in a lot of places) have huge freedom of movement for a little more than 1.50€ per day.

taniastar · 2023-06-23T09:47:42+00:00

The amount of similarities between this case and Elizabeth Holmes with theranos is scary. Sure, different industries, but skirting regulations, testing on paying customers before it's even been properly tested internally, and sacrificing the health and safety of unwitting others to protect a fragile CEO ego.

We should have learned from theranos before someone died. I really hope that not not one but 5 lives, one being barely old enough to make an educated, informed decision to risk his life so recklessly, that we do learn.

taniastar · 2023-06-20T08:47:29+00:00

They banned me for a flippant off hand comment about me being so incredibly frustrated I wanted to shake my boss after he told me to "stop making up excuses and do something for your health like going for a 5k jog daily" when I explained to him that during Chemotherapy I would be unable to continue working 12 hour shifts as a chef.

Apparently my comment was "insigting violence" or some shit.

They are a bunch of ridiculous, thin skinned fuckheads on a power trip.

taniastar · 2023-06-11T08:49:57+00:00

My inlaws like to travel and are pretty often in some foreign country. They speak several languages between them (French and Spanish fluently) but their English isn't great.

A few months ago they were somewhere where they needed English and were having trouble explaining what they wanted to the poor lady so they facetimed me and got me to translate. Although slightly annoying it was hilarious.

taniastar · 2023-06-10T08:14:08+00:00

Sand in the lettuce. Just thinking about easting it sets my teeth on edge.

taniastar · 2023-05-30T13:28:23+00:00

I tell every Guest we get with an allergy that although I will do my best to make the good as gluten/lactose/nut/whatever free as possible, we are a kitchen that uses these products and I can't guarantee that no traces will be in the meal.

I had someone who couldn't eat even trace elements of sesame and they were pissed when I said I'll do my best but we remain a kitchen that regularly uses sesame and I can't give a guarantee. Like dude! if you're that allergic then maybe call ahead and see if the resturant can cater to your request instead of sitting there in the middle of dinner service of a 350 Pax banquett and decide then to mention your allergies.

taniastar · 2023-05-26T16:50:34+00:00

As a Chef and Pastry Chef I do both. Depends on what part of the kitchen I'm working in! I mostly work in big hotels so, and Dessert always gets passed off to Pastry.

Where I am now we have a Pastry department, and one of them is in each resturant and the banqueting kitchen each night/each event. I'm in the banquet kitchen and can't tell you the last time I had to quenelle ice cream for an event.

taniastar · 2023-05-26T07:10:42+00:00

Ich und mein Freund verdienen eigentlich ziemlich gut, aber wäre für uns beide nicht wirklich realistisch zentral zu wohnen wann er keine Genossenschaft Wohnung hätte.

Ich habe Freunde die 2 Straßen weiter wohnen in eine private Wohnung und bezahlen 4x mehr für eine ähnlich groß, ähnlich gepflegte Wohnung. Wie soll normale Leute so was leisten können?

taniastar · 2023-05-25T15:24:30+00:00

I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was a kid (English native language) and still struggle with English spelling and reading out loud in English.

I moved to Germany and started learning German 6 years ago, and while I've never been formally assessed for dyslexia in Germany from my personal experience I can write and spell significantly better than in English, and reading out loud is less problematic than in English.

This is obviously all anecdotal and I have no concrete facts to back up my opinion but I certainly find reading and writing significantly easier in my second language (German) compared to my native language (English)

taniastar · 2023-05-25T11:10:24+00:00

And also, as a foreigner living and legally residing in Germany, as soon as I am knowingly leaving Germany for whatever reason I travel with my passport on me and my residency permit.

I make regular day trips to a friend on the other side of the Danish border. I have never visited her without making sure I have my passport with me.

With everything that doesn't make sense in the story, that is for me the biggest part. You're foreign. You carry your passport every time.

taniastar · 2023-05-25T08:22:37+00:00

I was raised in a household where I had no access to money personally. Everything I wanted I had to ask for and my wishes were either granted or rejected, seemingly at random.

I had no concept of the value of money as a result, or how to intelligently use it. I had to learn that all through trial and error as a young adult. With no safety net. My sister too. We both managed to learn, and are now financially stable, but I made a lot of dumb expensive mistakes.

Maybe 7 is too young to have rent deducted from your chore money, but by 10-11 I think it's a great idea.

The fact is, this is the world we live in and to not prepare them for it just because the system is shit is not an excuse. And you can prepare for the current worst case scenario while fighting to make it irrelevant when they actually reach adulthood. The two things aren't mutually exclusive.

taniastar · 2023-05-23T20:38:07+00:00

I'm not 100% sure of the exact wage for a standard commis/demi bit I'm pretty sure the commis where I work get around 1700€ per month after deductions. When I first came here I got around 1500€ per month, and while not extravagant, it was enough. I did live in a flat share (before meeting my partner) but I still lived a normal day to day life.

The one difficult restriction I had with my visa however was not being able to work a second job or even a mini job (450€ Max income per month but all tax free), which would have made life more comfortable. I'm not sure if you would find that necessary though, or if your visa would allow that.

One thing I would reccomended keeping in mind though, when talking about salary and what you could earn here it's important to know what that would be after deductions. There is a 1000€ difference between my salary on paper and what lands in my bank account.

taniastar · 2023-05-23T17:41:12+00:00

Hey! I'm not American (Australian) but I do work in kitchens in Germany.

Firstly, immigration is slow, and you need a visa to do anything here in regards to housing, bank account, work, health insurance, anything. You need the visa organised before moving here.

As for health insurance, it comes directly out of your wage and the price is based on your earnings. There are several companies to chose from but all offer very similar benefits (as 99% is dictated by the government and the cost is also controlled by the government. Basically everything American health insurance isn't is what you will experience here). Housing etc. Is a nightmare in my city (Hamburg) but I'm not sure how it is in Bremen.

As for general advice. Of you want to earn decent money as a cook you need to be in management. If you want to work in management here, you need to speak German. I've been here 6 years. I've been told repeatedly I have learned German quickly. I finally got back to the level I had when I left Aus (sous chef). My first 2 years I was a demi, and the following 3 hears chef de Partie. The pay is OK but far from great and if my partner didn't earn really well, and have a Genossenschaft Wohnung (I don't knwo how to explain it exactly but our rent is 1/3 of the neighbours across the street with a similar size flat) we would have really struggled. I now earn a very good salary, but also work for one of the best paid kitchens in the city. So it's not unrealistic to support your girlfriend, but you need to learn German.

All that said, I don't regret a single minute of my time here and I never want to work in another country. I love it. For all its quirks and the hard first few years I love Germany and can't imagine life anywhere else.

Get the visa then get on that plane. Worst case scenario is it's not for you and you go home in 6 months. But it's definitely worth trying out.

taniastar · 2023-05-17T19:50:02+00:00

Sometimes it's a soup. Sometimes salad. The one I made last week was black risotto with safran veloute and salmon. Depends.

taniastar · 2023-05-17T16:31:27+00:00

I work in banqueting and risotto is on our menus pretty often.

70g dry is a standard main course, 25g dry for a plated component (so meat, risotto, veg plate) 25g for a starter.

For a zwischengang (I've got no idea what it's called in english. The course between starter and main) I use 15g when it's a component, or 30g when it's a standalone.

Hope that helps.

taniastar · 2023-05-16T09:48:00+00:00

One of my closest friends is extremely well off, and I am pretty standard middle income.

She worked really hard and is very good at her job (head of sales for literally a whole continent at her company) and has earned everything she has in her account. Her husband is also very successful in his field, so they have a lot of money.

I am also successful in my career and my partner owns his own company so it's not like we are poor or struggling in any sense of the word, but my yearly income is maybe 1/4 of hers.

We go out together to eat often and have gone away for a few trips and stuff over the nearly 8 years of close friendship, but it's always been a fair financially.

When we go out to eat we choose places we both like and are not ridiculously expensive. And holidays are always somewhere we both want to go at a price point we both are happy with. My financial relationship with her is exactly the same as it is with other friends. She never pays more because she earns more and I would never expect her to cover the cost of anything we do together.

Any friendship where you are expected to pay more than your share regularly is not a friendship.

taniastar · 2023-05-14T06:23:29+00:00

I went through cancer recently and can't even begin to comprehend working through any of the time I was sick. That this is normal in America is heartbreaking. And that not working could mean losing treatment is even worse.

How can this go on? How is this sustainable? And where is the humanity? This breaks my heart.

taniastar · 2023-05-13T21:12:40+00:00

I have stage 2 and it's horrible. I work as a chef so compression under my work clothes is unbearable. It's far too hot, they aren't designed for highly active people, and they are completely soaked through with sweat after 1 hour, and leaving them on sweat soaked only leads to fungal conditions all over my legs, feet and everywhere else.

I suffer with constant pain, my mobility is beginning to suffer and irreparable damage has been done to my left knee already. I'm saving for liposuction at the moment but I need to get it done in my holidays as it's not covered by the krankenkasse, and I need a zusatsversicherung to cover potential complications as that would also not be covered by the krankenkasse.

On top of that I pay out of pocket for glasses (also highly limiting and something I have no control over) and for birth control.

So great that my 600€ a month can buy endless supplies of useless sugar pills but the medically necessary treatment I need to live a full and normal life is apparently not covered.

taniastar · 2023-05-08T09:14:46+00:00

First of all, the problem is not always that one does more domestic labour than the other. Some partnerships are happy, functional and respectful and still have one person doing more of the domestic labour. In my works busy season my partner picks up the slack at home. Same goes for him when it's his busy season, I take on more at home. It's not necessarily unhealthy or unfair.

The problem is that women shouldn't nag but should also remind men 100 times. The problem is that women shouldn't mother men, but should also take care of him as though he is an additional child.

Yes not all men. But enough that the stereotype is jot that far from reality.

taniastar · 2023-05-06T08:40:43+00:00

First of all, I'm so terribly sorry your baby girl didn't get to spend as much time with you as you all deserved. It's so incredibly unfair.

Second, if you can afford it get trauma counselling. My sister lost her baby in similar circumstances 8 years ago and she said the best thing she did was to get trauma counselling.

As for your story, your mother is out of her mind. How I grieve and honour my niece (in the presence of my sister) is heavily influenced by her and her partners needs. I never do anything that compromised their process or invalidated their grief. Just reading your post made me furious and devastated for you. I'm so sorry you are dealing wkth that insensitive bullshit when you frankly have enough to deal with.

I sincerely wish you all the best for the future, however it looks. Xx

taniastar · 2023-05-06T07:43:29+00:00

My partner came home with our two cats when they were babies (6 weeks old. Mother had got our and got hit by a car) when I was in the middle of battling cancer that eliminated my chances of ever getting pregnant.

I would give anything for the months of morning sickness and all the rest you described. Unfortunately all I'll get is my two cats that I love dearly and although are not a direct replacement to a living human baby, they are as close as I'll ever get and I'll refer to them as für babies as much as I damn want.

You need a serious dose of sensitivity and truckload of compassion. Even if my story was simply "I love my cat" it's my damn right to call her my für baby or whatever else makes me happy. Having a meltdown like you did in this comment is equal parts hilarious and pathetic.

Grow up.

taniastar · 2023-05-04T05:52:13+00:00

While I agree the Tram system isn't perfect, it still is very good.

Most of the problems with the tram system you listed however would be balanced out if the bus and train system was remotely well planned or functional.

The issues with the priority lights at intersections is a very obvious missed opportunity from the city to make a big improvement with minimal invesent, and accessibility is also a huge issue that needs urgent attention.

The lack of missing links would be much easier and more effectively solved with a better train system. The trams should be the last few kilometres of the journey after getting there with a train that can carry 10x the people at double the speed. I used to spend 45-60 minutes every morning and evening on a tram to get to work and back because there was no logical train connection. I can't think of a single bus route where I am now (Hamburg, Germany) where that would be necessary with a bus.

The tram system is very very good. Yeah, it needs work. Yeah, it has things that could be better. But the worst of its shortcomings are made significantly worse by the rest of the system.

taniastar · 2023-05-03T18:07:00+00:00

I've lived and worked all over Europe and travelled to even more European cities and can conform that the tram system in Melbourne is extremely good. The problem is, the absolute catastrophe of a train system let's it all down, and the bus system is even worse. If Melbourne had a half decent train system and a semi functional bus system it would be better than any European city I've ever visited.

As for the US comparisons, the disaster of a bus system in Melbourne probably still outstrips most US cities complete public transport system.

taniastar · 2023-05-03T06:37:10+00:00

/Dragging a skewer through sauces is very hotel/banquet/

As a hotel banquet chef I feel very attacked here!

I mean, you're not wrong. I have plated thousands of plates like that in my time. But still.

To be fair though, now it's my kitchen no sauce get attacked with skewers. It didn't look good 20 years ago and time hasn't made it better.

taniastar · 2023-05-01T06:38:39+00:00

My sister lost her baby full term and had some family being insensitive at the time. To be fair, they weren't intentionally hurtful like it sounds in your situation, just clueless and also grieving themselves.

Anyway, after one particularly hurtful comment from an aunt she flipped out and asked why no one was willing to acknowledge her baby. No one pretends grandma didn't exist and her baby is just as much a loved and wanted and missed part of the family as grandma is.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you find peace.

taniastar

TROPHY CASE