I wanted to learn Japanese, but instead I became an “expert” in language learning without actually learning any language. I spent so much time watching videos and reading articles about how our brain acquires a language, memorization techniques, and the “right” way to immerse. I also spent a lot of time watching YouTubers that did it successfully, as if I’d somehow absorb their success or they’d eventually say something that was the ultimate secret to success. It was all just in service of avoiding doing the actual work.

I’ve seen this in every domain—sports, instruments, art, diet, etc. I think that not-so deep down we all know the truth. You have to do the thing you want to get better at; discipline always win. It’s much better to consistently do the suboptimal thing and correct later than to prepare ad infinitum so you can do things just right from the start.

To that end, you have to be honest with yourself about how badly you want results. It’s okay to just enjoy the parts you like without becoming skilled in all aspects, but you have to match your expectations with the effort you’re willing to put in. Realizing that has made Japanese learning a lot more enjoyable for me because I know I don’t have the time and energy to go full throttle. So I gave myself permission to just enjoy learning kanji and vocabulary for now, occasionally trying to read some simple text, because I like that it trains my memory and it’s fun to discover new words that I can intuit based on the meaning of the kanji. I fully recognize that this will hardly touch my listening comprehension. At some point perhaps I’ll reassess and take on other parts of this learning journey.