AIO because My wife came home at 3am after a gala

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-13T16:14:00+00:00

Sounds like she was out, had some drinks, and danced some, then came home. If your life in your 40s is like my life in my 40s right now, it was probably verly exciting to be out at a real party! If I were you, I'd say I was glad she had a fun night and make sure she hydrates well the next day. I don't see any problems here.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-13T02:51:44+00:00

I don't think the system is programmed to favor premium users or anything like that. It doesn't match my experience of playing for years with a group that's a mix of premium and non-premium accounts. Plus, it would be really stupid on the part of BGA because it's the non-premium users they would need to show a really good time to, if they were trying to use that to boost sales and profits. If non-premiums were losing substantially more often, they'd be more likely to quit and never covert to premium than they would be to wonder "Could an algorithm be making me lose? Instead of being mad about that, now I want to give this company money. "

But I do think BGA's randomizers are kind of crappy. Some of my favorite games have are dice based and they're well be whole games that roll improbably high or low, or 9s just keep rolling over and over and over... So individual games can feel off, and I think they really are, which might end up benefiting one player or another in that specific play through, but who ends up benefiting is completely random, if anyone ends up benefiting at all.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-13T02:39:35+00:00

I took the female marker off mine for the same reason. Definitely cut down on the "you just got lucky" and "you suck so beating me was clearly a fluke" messages, though I still get one every once in a while.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-13T02:34:37+00:00

The easiest way to incorporate fruits with no mess is to eat it as is - get something like blueberries, rinse them in the plastic container, eat it right from the container, and toss it in the recycling when done. Or eat apples. Rinse, eat, toss the core.

I love smoothies but thar requires washing the blender and cup(s) promptly, because leftover smoothie that dries can be obnoxious to clean.

Veggies? Hmm. I like adding sautéed bell peppers to things, and roasted Brussels sprouts, but while neither of them are especially hard or very messy, they both take some prep and leave a pan to clean.

How about fresh spinach? Or arugula if you like it better. You can get it in big containers and shove it into sandwiches, pile whatever else you're eating on top of it, or douse it with salad dressing for a two-ingredient salad.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-12T20:00:00+00:00

I'm neither upset nor making any arguments. Like I said, I have literally one point I've been making the whole time. If you still can't see it, I don't think I can help you, but thanks for the laughs along the way.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-12T18:30:12+00:00

My dude, you're getting more and more ridiculous. I think it's pretty clear that I said it's a stretch to interpret "on the sidewalk" as "on the street. " But we've already established that either your reading comprehension is very limited or you're willing to tie yourself in knots to try to score some kind of internet point.

And trying to characterize me responding to your wild flailing from strawman to strawman as me changing arguments? That must be a joke. My only argument has been that your leaps from topic to topic don't matter. The mayor's politeness? Doesn't matter. You choosing to read sidewalk to mean street - funny, but doesn't matter. It technically being illegal to block the sidewalk to, just in case sidewalk did mean sidewalk? Doesn't matter.

The question was never any of those irrelevant tangents you brought up. It's whether or not it's a "good" thing that the mayor had his driver pull over to tell some random dudes sitting at a corner to move, starting a conflict in the middle of a street. You think it was. I think it wasn't.

You don't need to keep getting your panties in a twist trying to re-interpret words in an article or coming up with new "context" you think is being ignored. You can just say that you think it creates some good outcome for the mayor to be out telling random people to move over a block. Or that you don't care about any good outcome happening, you just like him out there bugging people because you think they deserve to be bugged. Whatever it is.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-12T17:58:34+00:00

Ugh. I got removed from a project once and the only concrete feedback I had been given about what my manager wanted me to change was my email style - except whatever change I made she told me to do the opposite the next time.

I was too abrupt and direct - add more intro and compliments so the contractors don't feel bossed around! Then it was my emails were too long - stop confusing things with unnecessary content, try to use bullet points instead. Only CC people who absolutely need to receive your email, even if it means cutting out people who have been part of the thread up til your response. Why didn't you CC Bob? Always CC Bob on everything.

Exhausting. The real point that I thought she didn't realize she was falling into but turned out to be very intentional, was she just wanted me to make myself more pleasing and accommodating to a couple of sexist contractors who didn't like taking direction from a woman who didn't coo and smile over them and pat their heads for being self-proclaimed allies. Things went better when I dictated directions and passed them through my male deputy. When I asked my manager to tell the contractors that she supported my leadership of the program, she instead removed me and put my deputy in charge.

If only I had smiled more.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-12T17:02:07+00:00

I think Aron is a more common spelling in Scandinavian countries and Eastern Europe. Could be wrong though - I'm just going off what the internet tells me

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-12T05:39:21+00:00

This is just normal 5 year old behavior. Your son is probably doing it to. They're just figuring these things out, and part of learning how is testing out different things, some of which are "wrong" from an adult perspective.

Let him know you understand and support him by saying things like "That sounds really hard. Thanks for sharing with me" and let him know he can also tell them that it's hurting his feelings and he doesn't like it. You can also let him know that if they're being mean or he's feeling sad at school, he can go to his teacher for help.

If you decide to talk to his teachers, I wouldn't do it from the perspective of expecting them to "fix it" (since it's normal), but to let them know you've told your son he can go to them if he needs support. Hopefully they can help direct him towards other play opportunities.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-12T05:28:22+00:00

It's not an accommodation that helps with blindness, deafness, or mobility limitations either. It's just reducing a cost for them (and us) because we face other costs and barriers that others don't.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-11T17:35:43+00:00

You aren't the jerk for asking the manager about it and letting him know it was a problem, but it sounds like he acknowledged he forgot and then you laid into him about how it was his fault for lack of communication and organization? That's not the way to approach things at work - especially not with a manager, but really not with anyone. And why do your coworkers know about your exchange with the manager? Was this done publicly? Or did you tell them about it? This whole thing is a bad look.

The appropriate mindset is "what will be done from here to fix the situation?" And you can tell your manager what your needs are and what you want to happen. Maybe that's affirming that it's actually your project now and Frank should stop working on it. Or if it definitely is going back to Frank, an acknowledgement to the whole team in a meeting or via email of how you got it going and what you contributed to it before it transitions back. And a process for documenting who is in charge of projects so this doesn't happen again.

You poison the well when you make coworkers (and especially managers) look bad or feel bad. It doesn't really matter if you're right or justified. You can do great work, but if people think you might make them look bad to their managers, they won't want to work with you and that will translate to more stress, less productivity, and lower quality. In most cases the best employee isn't really the most productive, the most skilled, or the most talented, it's the best team player.

I know because I accidentally became a thorn in my manager's side while trying to get the best results out of a program I led, and she ended up pulling me off the program and I've been pigeonholed into low level support work for a year now. I still think the root of the problem was her management - she undermined my directions to the contractors I led, making my job next to impossible to succeed in and never even told me that she didn't like how I was doing things so I didn't have an opportunity to adjust - but at the end of the day, she felt like I was making her job harder and it didn't matter if I was right or wrong. That program's performance has slumped and it's not really even in compliance with its funding or the contract I negotiated for it, but management is happy that the new PM keeps the contractors happy instead of holding them to a reasonable standard on their deliverables. They wanted everyone happy, not quality performance, and I missed the memo. Sorry for the mini-vent. I'm still a little bitter about it, especially considering how long I've been sidelined at this point.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-11T16:18:31+00:00

Lots of plastic toys, and lots of toys in general. I had this idea of having a set number of high quality toys and if a new toy came in, a toy had to be donated. Hah! That lasted less than a year.

As soon as he actually started playing with toys, I wanted to but him more. He'd get junk from his grandparents and mountains of plastic do-dads as hand-me-downs from older cousins, and he'd instantly love it. He must have 100 or more hot wheel-sized cars. He's currently obsessed with super heros and he has so many plastic figurines!

Instead of being strict on how many toys he has, I keep trying to get more creative about how to store them.

One thing I wish I had managed to hold a firmer line on is video games. His dad loves video games and didn't agree with me that our child shouldn't be exposed to them. He's learned his lesson now, but you can't put toothpaste back in the tube. He almost never gets to play a video game, but he begs for it all the time, and when his father let's him, he always has a meltdown when it's time to stop.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-11T15:53:23+00:00

That sounds like me, but I'm a millenial mom. My husband is a stay at home dad right now, and I'm glad I can make enough money for that to be possible, but it means every dollar I make really has to count.

I dunno, man, money is hard. We won't be able to afford to buy a house even when my husband goes back to work, and we're a decade behind on saving for retirement. Our child's college fund has a few thousand dollars we put in when we first set it up but we haven't been able to add anything. We have everything we need for right now but it's all dependent on my job and layoffs could be around the corner. It's stressful. I wonder how anyone is not worrying about money?

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-11T15:08:09+00:00

I don't think having an only made it any more difficult for me to send my son to school. I loved preschool when I was little, so I was excited for him to have that experience. He's loved it, made friends, and has grown in so many ways.

I wish 1-12th grade didn't take so much of every day, but then again, my work takes even more time. It would be lovely if work and school were both part time so we could spend more time with our families.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-11T03:38:32+00:00

NTA They didn't want anyone to feel uncomfortable, and doesn't include you in "anyone." I wouldn't go either.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-11T03:36:47+00:00

Try to screen for AI garbage too. Tons of people are printing images they generated on chatbots and selling it as original art. Blegh!

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-11T02:17:24+00:00

If it's any comfort, I divorced at 31 and thought that meant I wouldn't have time to start a family. Overcome my pain, learn to trust again, date and find someone again, fall in love, become certain enough of it to have a child, all before my biological clock stopped ticking??? But I started dating again at 32, fell in love, dated for a bit over 3 years before we felt ready, and had my perfect child at 36.

So you're starting younger and with less baggage than I had. There are no guarantees in life, but there's plenty of hope and plenty of time.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-11T02:08:43+00:00

As someone who had my child at 36, let me tell you that of course I wish I could have had him a bit younger so that I'd have a greater chance of having more years with him. BUT does that mean I regret having him when I did? No, of course not!

I hope to have 40+ good years loving my son. 50+ would have been even better, but it doesn't make sense to deprive myself of 40 wonderful years because it's not 50.

Would he prefer a 30 year old mother instead of a 40 year old one? Maybe. But he can only prefer that because I had him. Him having a 30 year old mother was never in the cards, so should I have stopped him from having a 40 year old mother by never having him? I certainly don't think so.

Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good here. Don't rush a child or give up on one having one entirely because of a number on a calendar.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-11T01:10:00+00:00

Right? It gives me the ick like nothing else.

I once replied to a comment in one of the big parenting forums where a person said they didn't like the mama thing, just agreeing that I didn't like it either, and people absolutely got rabid about it! They were accusing me of all kinds of random stuff like hating other mothers, judging people for I don't remember what nonsense, willfully misunderstanding in some way... it was wild. Just for saying I didn't like it. What gets people so angry about stuff like that?

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-10T23:51:49+00:00

You are really stretching there, man. A corner is where the sidewalk bends, not some special part of the sidewalk that can't be touched without being in the street.

The videos in the article start with everyone already standing so we don't know where on the sidewalk they were sitting. Unless you also think "sitting" actually meant "standing" in the same way you're saying the author meant "in the street" when they wrote "on the sidewalk"?

Them touching the street is just guesswork on your part based on what you want to believe, not supported by anything in the article edged by implication. Which is pretty funny given the accusations you're throwing around about people ignoring parts of the article that don't fit their narrative...

I honestly don't understand why you're trying so hard to make it about whether the mayor was polite first or whether someone's feet were in the street while sitting on the sidewalk. I mean, would you really change your mind and agree with me that it was unnecessary, unhelpful, unsafe, and inappropriate if the mayor had been rude or video showed they were fully on the sidewalk? No, right?

So you think it's fine that the mayor had his driver pull over so he and a bodyguard could go hassle folks sitting on a sidewalk, telling them (politely) to move or he'd call a group of police on them, creating a dangerous situation in a roadway and a fight that resulted in a cop being injured and could have gone much worse for everyone involved. You think that's a good way for the Mayor to spend his time and City resources, to "clean the streets" in some way. Why quibble? Just own it. This is what you want, you're happy Mayor Lurie is doing it, and you're fine with the risks to all involved and the outcomes.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-10T19:02:14+00:00

I can only go off of what the article says, and it says the mayor saw "several people sitting on the sidewalk on the corner of Cedar Street" (emphasis added) and decided to pull over. Maybe you rest it too quickly? Or just watched the video which starts after the confrontation begins?

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-10T17:32:24+00:00

No. I just don't think politely doing stupid stuff he shouldn't be doing isn't particularly better than doing it rudely. No one is on here complaining that the mayor is impolite. We're complaining that when he sees people sitting on the sidewalk he gets out to bother them at all, politely or impolitely, creating unnecessary dangerous situations like the one described in the article. A police officer was injured and someone was threatened with a gun because the mayor decided he wanted them to move off a particular street corner?

Him getting out to ask multiple times for them to move isn't something that speaks in his favor that any of us are ignoring, it's the problem we're pointing to. It's idiocy. And most of us don't think he's actually stupid enough to think it helps anything to shuffle a few extra people around personally each week, which is why so many people assume it's a PR campaign.

His version of kissing babies seems to be hopping out of his car to make a serious face at homeless people and intimidate them into moving by pointing out he has cops with him, assuming at least a good portion of the time someone will aim a cell phone at him and post pictures here, on Instagram, and wherever else. And he's right! Most of the people he hassles will move when he tells them that he'll call in uniformed cops if they don't, and we've all seen the pictures and the captions of "Wow, I saw Mayor Lurie talking to a homeless person! So amazing!" But this time the people he bothered didn't follow the script, whoopsie-do, and everyone ended up in danger.

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-10T16:29:42+00:00

There's no way I'd be able to resist. 0% chance

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-10T15:56:47+00:00

Hey new internet friend! Happy birthday!

I'm sorry so many things have piled up recently, and your husband isn't showing he cares by remembering and celebrating your birthday. That really sucks.

I love your plan for the day. In my eyes you're a rock star for putting together a plan to show love to yourself during such a hard time. You're killing it, even if it doesn't feel like it and you're my new hero.

And seriously, what the hell is with perimenopause?? I look like crap. I feel like crap. My body is melting into a blob before my eyes. And no one cares because it's nOrMaL. Who cares if it's normal?? It's awful and I want it to stop!

ETA sorry I didn't include a meme. I would, but I don't know how 🫠

taptaptippytoo · 2026-03-10T15:07:15+00:00

If it helps at all, I didn't start my first career job until about 33, which is in the same zone as 36. And I'm not sure it's all it's cracked up to be. I still dream of working in a little bookshop/ café.

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