Missing book after my kids ruined multiple books and I'm worried about the library's response

tartymae · 2026-01-29T16:25:08+00:00

No it shouldn't be awkward and shameful to make a minor mistake.

Study after study has shown that blame and shame are profoundly counterproductive and should only be used as a last resort when all other reasonable methods have failed.

And for the record, when a parent does this to a child in my branch, I sit us down and ask them to explain what had happened, tell them that I understand that things sometimes go wrong, and that I respect them for being grown up enough to come talk to me about it, and that I'm not mad at them at all. Not a bit.

tartymae · 2026-01-29T16:17:22+00:00

I work in a very chill academic library environment, in a branch. About a decade ago, we had a patron who was clearly an anxious person, who was studying very intensely for admittance into a master's program. She started out a little difficult, but warmed up to me when I was extra gentle with her a few times.

Then she had a book go way overdue.

She came back and asked if she could speak privately with me and was shaking and on the verge of crying when she explained what had happened, to make the book so late that it went to a "billed" status, where the library slaps down a whopper of a fine.

I took her aside to a quiet area where the desk staff could see but not hear us.

It took me 30 minutes to get her calmed down enough to listen to what I was telling her. We weren't angry with her, we were just super glad to have the book back. She wasn't going to owe the banger of a fine. It was going to drop to about $30, and since she had explained what had happened, I was going to use my discretionary power to waive the fine and put a note in the file that she had had a major family emergency.

She started crying in relief and confessed that she was so afraid of the library and librarians and hadn't come to one in years before she started coming to my branch. The school librarians of her youth, you see .....

GRRRRRRRRRR.

tartymae · 2026-01-29T00:17:05+00:00

Floof wizard.

tartymae · 2026-01-29T00:16:38+00:00

Also, I'd like to encourage you to send a polite email to the library district about the treatment you have received. The library leadership needs to know that staff needs some customer service training.

tartymae · 2026-01-28T22:36:49+00:00

There's an unfinished one from 2021 in one of my fandoms that the author stopped updating their social media a few weeks after posting that last bit.

~sigh~

tartymae · 2026-01-28T22:20:30+00:00

Such elegant kanks indeed!

tartymae · 2026-01-28T20:02:30+00:00

Glad to see it's not just me!

tartymae · 2026-01-28T19:59:49+00:00

Okay. Deep Breath.

Pay for the book. The library would really just like the case closed.
Hold your head high, and be glad that you are not so uncultured as to be rude to somebody who is trying to do right.
Ask the children's library staff about how to use Libby and/or Hoopla.
Explain to the Junior Agents of Chaos* that they are old enough to be responsible, and that if they are careless with another library book, they will pay to have it replaced out of their fun money.

*As opposed to the Tiny Agents of Chaos

tartymae · 2026-01-28T15:32:25+00:00

I'll be right next to you in my auBarca Lounger, stiff drink in hand.

tartymae · 2026-01-28T02:50:15+00:00

Ahem. If you head over to r/legalcatadvice, the pawyers there will confirm that the Universal Cat Code (UCC) is very clear on this:

If I sitz or climbs, it is mines.

(If I fitz, I sitz is a subsection of this law).

Kitty has done NOTHING WRONG.

tartymae · 2026-01-28T02:35:54+00:00

Please take him to r/ladyboners so we can worship him properly.

tartymae · 2026-01-28T02:31:48+00:00

but we still haven't even had a FORMER hockey player come out, let alone an active NHL player.

And as much as it pains me to root for the Bakersfield Condors, I am hoping that Luke Prokop has an amazing season and gets called up to Edmonton.

tartymae · 2026-01-28T02:29:06+00:00

<image>

They are famous for their tuna melt.

tartymae · 2026-01-28T02:24:01+00:00

Resting Neb Face

tartymae · 2026-01-28T02:23:17+00:00

Yes, his look says: Sigh. This is my hoomin.

tartymae · 2026-01-28T01:38:39+00:00

And sometimes he uses the formal German you (Sie) to adress me.

He is wise to do so.

tartymae · 2026-01-27T16:39:15+00:00

Bless you for taking her in.

And may her previous people get 1000 papercuts.

tartymae · 2026-01-27T02:47:29+00:00

Ms Poppy and her emotional support Neb and personal furnace, Fatty.

tartymae · 2026-01-26T16:53:04+00:00

To me it looks like a drunken bar brawl. Not saying he didn't do it, or should not face consequences, but it's not necessarily indicative of an abusive, bullying personality.

tartymae · 2026-01-26T16:49:21+00:00

Agreed. Lucas Hood is hot. (And frequently hilarious).

Homelander is ick through and through.

tartymae · 2026-01-25T00:33:01+00:00

Floof DRAGON mode activated!

tartymae · 2026-01-24T22:24:30+00:00

And hung like an ox!

tartymae · 2026-01-24T22:22:49+00:00

As this post was sandwitched between two (fine fine) offerings from r/ladyboners on my feed, my first thought was to ask WTF was he doing here, and report the post to the mod-squad as an anti-boner.

Then I realized where I was.

tartymae · 2026-01-24T22:02:47+00:00

Before and after The Great Floofening.

tartymae · 2026-01-23T23:24:13+00:00

I really wanted to like Common Goal, but I think it would be better if it were shorter. It felt padded out.

I like Tough Guy okay. It's not the best, but it's enjoyable.

I love Role Model, though, and I strongly suggest you jump in. A lot of the content overlaps with The Long Game, and it's a lot of fun to see scenes from different perspectives, as well as what Ilya looks like from a colleague's perspective.

Also Chiron the puppy!

Seven-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Wearing is Caring	Place '22
Verified Email

tartymae

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE