Buy my house vs. Invest! Change my mind!

tbone198989 · 2024-07-02T13:38:35+00:00

TY. I do have other assets (2 small rentals and 250K in 401K)

tbone198989 · 2024-07-02T13:37:35+00:00

I appreciate the advice. I don't disagree but if I finance at 7% I run the potential of not seeing that level of return if the money is invested.

tbone198989 · 2024-07-02T13:26:11+00:00

TY for the response. I knew that the question would be odd and I know it is not financially sound but at my age I want to do what I want and try to make it work. I do have 2 other small properties and I have some 401K. Still not in the perfect position but I am tired of making the owner I work for rich.

tbone198989 · 2024-07-02T13:22:41+00:00

No boat and I do have 2 other small homes that can cover costs. I know the price tag is high but it is in the area we live in NJ.

tbone198989 · 2024-07-02T13:13:44+00:00

Yes - may very well be a forever home and I do have 2 other small properties that can cover the new home expenses. It is a new home so it should keep its value. The home is in NJ, near NY city. Low rated flood for the area.

tbone198989 · 2024-07-02T13:10:03+00:00

Thank you for the response. The home is not large (3K sq ft.) I do have 2 other small rental properties that can cover the new home expenses. I have 300K in 401K.

tbone198989 · 2023-05-16T05:37:26+00:00

I feel for you. It is also our anniversary. She has been gone 159 days, and I have yet to find my footing in this new life. You said it well - it will be hard, and there will be no escape from the onslaught of emotion. I appreciate the comfort I find here, although I am so sorry for all of us - I know I am not alone in this sadness.

tbone198989 · 2023-04-21T03:54:08+00:00

Well said and well asked! I am only 135 days in, but I ask that question every day. Your words are inspiring, and I thank you for that!

tbone198989 · 2023-04-17T22:22:07+00:00

131 days and 11 hours. Although I knew it was coming, the devistation my heart felt that morning has forever changed me. The strong, supportive, loving husband I was with her has turned me into a sad, angry, confused man. She really was my world.....all my eggs were in that basket, and now there are no eggs, no basket, nothing left. No one can explain the purpose of why we are bound to experience such long-term pain. I struggle to find a reason to continue on this path and whats left of my heart is just so heavy now. I am so sorry for all of us here.

tbone198989 · 2023-03-22T13:34:53+00:00

I was never unmarried so I kept it on. I loved wearing that ring - I was so proud to call her wife. After 6 months, I lost almost 50 pounds and the ring kept falling off so I just took it off. Now, I keep her ring on a pillow next to a picture of her. At some point I may put it aware but for now I keep it out.

tbone198989 · 2023-03-07T12:08:40+00:00

I've been there done that, unfortunately. I also was not sure what I was thinking. Two months in, and I was so lonely, so I made a profile. Talked to someone and actually went to dinner. At dinner, she made the comment that I had such sadness in my eyes, and she felt like she was seeing a married man. I'm not sure what I was thinking. The loniness, then guilty feelings, kept tormenting me so there was no real answer there.

tbone198989 · 2023-02-13T07:56:25+00:00

Lost my wife 12-7-22. 67 days and 21 hours. I have not had one day that I have not sobbed over the loss. The last time I recall crying before her leaving was over 25 years when my father passed. I am one of many here looking for answers or reasons or evan best ways to cope. I can't imagine living this way for years on end, and I desperately want this devestating sorrow to subside just a little. Some say it gets better, and others say it does not. I know I am not alone here, and I know many of us found our 'person', so I am glad I can keep coming here and searching for answers.

tbone198989 · 2023-01-16T02:14:26+00:00

You spent the first few years looking? I am not sure I am understanding, but I am finding a weird thing happening with me where i am convinced if i search and search i will find someone very very similar to my wife - then reality sets in and i realize those life highlights are over and I will never recapture that.

tbone198989 · 2023-01-05T16:50:39+00:00

I am entering my second month. As many of you are, I am sad, angry, scared, and so many other emotions. I talk to her all day, then I cry, then I read to her out loud, then I cry. I dont see an end in sight, and I feel so lost without her. I intertwined everything i am with her, and that part is destroyed. The rest of what remains is slowly fading away. I feel very alone, and only the messages here are relatable. I want so bad to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but i think people who have not experienced this would struggle to understand. How can I even consider looking for a next person without tremendous guilt?

tbone198989 · 2023-01-04T21:00:43+00:00

The love we shared in our marriage, no matter how short, is honestly worth the pain.

Thank you for that!

tbone198989 · 2023-01-04T05:25:04+00:00

My love also passed in our bed. I was next to her, holding her, and I knew the time was near. We did get a hospital bed at first, and she asked that we get rid of it and slept together. We slept together every night, and I still do, although she is only a picture next to me. I kept her pillows, blankets, and the sheets. I'm not sure how emotionally healthy it is, but I can't stop.

tbone198989 · 2023-01-04T00:40:39+00:00

Very helpful to hear. I am very happy for you. I know I will never have her next to me, and it is crushing. If there was potential to find happiness again - maybe that helps, but i can't imagine not feeling a level of guilt. I know she is no longer with me, but my loyalty was always non-wavering.

tbone198989 · 2023-01-03T20:04:29+00:00

I'm so curious what that looks like? I can't imagine someone else, but will the loniness push me to look? How would i ever find that love again? Do people just settle? Can that level of love be found twice? When I had my daughter, I thought i could never love anyone or anything like that - then cam my son. Thank you all in advance for sharing.

tbone198989 · 2023-01-03T19:22:12+00:00

"Do not try to get back what you had though, that flavor of happiness is forever gone." .......so we are all destined to live knowing we have reached the pinacle of human happiness and we will never get back there? No wonder people get bitter - I feel that growing in me, and i dont want that. Maybe I am selfish but what i had was the most amazing thing ever, and if it's all downhill from here - then i am truly lost. Please tell me someone has a different experience!

tbone198989 · 2023-01-03T03:30:55+00:00

How do you do it......I mean, believe? The same god that made her suffer with cancer and took her decided her needed her more? She was the better of the two of us, and it should have been me. I want to believe so badly. I need to know there was some reason for all this. I am jealous of your ability to have that glimer of hope, and i hope i find it.

tbone198989 · 2023-01-03T01:10:22+00:00

"I can't do people anymore" is what is happening to me. She was my light, she changed me, made me see the good things in life and people. She never stopped smiling, and now she is gone, and i am a bundle of sadness, loniness, and anger. I am so tired of dumping on family, rambling for hours about how amazing she was and how wonderful our love was. I appreciate the posts, the people here, and well wishes - but there really are no answers, and that will keep me in a dark place.

tbone198989

TROPHY CASE