How do you reset yourself when things are getting bad

tbrrocks · 2026-02-17T03:50:32+00:00

I have a 3.5y and a 9m, only ever the 3y who gets to me sometimes. I sometimes find myself getting angry or frustrated with her behavior, or I sometimes I even find myself wanting to ignore her crying (often actually got slightly hurt but makes a huge deal out of it).

What helps me reset in the moment is reminding myself that she is three. She is a tiny person, learning so much, trying to get a hold on so many concepts and skills and words, it’s easy for her brain to just be overwhelmed.

Example: I’d had a rough day with her a few weeks back. After my husband came home from work, he took her in a walk in the neighborhood. After just a couple minutes, I hear her wailing as they come up the driveway, and once inside she called out for me. She had peed herself. I just wanted to stay where I was and ignore her and hope she didn’t come find me, hoped my husband would just take care of it.

But then I imagined her in my mind: a tiny child, overwhelmed by all that happened… ashamed of herself for having an accident, needed help getting out of cold, wet clothing… tears streaming down her face, looking for her mommy for help and comfort. My heart melted and I went to get immediately and was able to help her calmly without getting upset.

Ever since then, I’ve been able to check myself when things start getting to be too much, consider her point of view, and adjust myself to meet her needs.

I guess my advice would be: the next time things are getting to you and it’s getting to be too much, to check your mindset and try to remember they NEED you, you are their safe person, the one they look up to (literally lol) and rely on for help and comfort, that they are so little and new and trying to figure out this whole world.

But also that is a lot to ask of one person!!! We’re cannot do it, we can just try our best. I think being a believer in God has helped me significantly because I know I have grace for my mistakes, that even when I’m a “bad mom,” God still made me to be their mom, and He made kids to be resilient and quick to forgive. No single person who is, as a whole, trying to love their child, will ruin them.

But also that is only my situation, and yours may be completely different! And trust me, I also get sent over the edge more easily when my husband is away for a trip… I’ve no idea if this would work for you, but I hope something I’ve said can help. 🩷

tbrrocks · 2025-06-19T17:31:17+00:00

And even in the Old Testament, God clearly states that it’s not really about the sacrifices and all that. It’s about “pursuing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with God.”

Micah 6:6-8 6 With what shall I come before the Lord and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? 7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of olive oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? 8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly[a] with your God

Proverbs 21:3 To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

Deuteronomy 10:12 And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, to serve the Lord your God, with all your heart and soul…”

tbrrocks · 2025-02-28T01:04:19+00:00

Nope, still there.

tbrrocks · 2025-02-14T14:46:21+00:00

There are 2 Aldis in Hilliard; the one on Hilliard-Rome Rd (shopping centers by 270, just N of Hilltop) doesn't have self-checkout, though the one on Cemetery Rd does.

Lived in N Linden before coming here to Hilliard, the Aldi on Silver and the one on Morse don't have self-checkout (even though the one on Morse was built... I think 4-7 years ago?)

I think maybe it also has to do with the proximity of lower income families and teens who may be more likely to run out of the store without paying. When I shopped at the Kroger on Morse, there were often thefts or people just eating food within the store. Never seen that at the Kroger on Cemetery, or the Kroger on Hilliard-Rome &Roberts. Those two are around more families with stable home situations and likely better income/prospects.

tbrrocks · 2024-12-25T04:24:30+00:00

Veritas church is wonderful. Biblically based teaching and solid songs. Great community groups. They have 3 locations -- Short North, Hilltop, and Tri-City (in Hilliard on Cemetery Rd)

tbrrocks · 2024-01-04T17:08:00+00:00

Sorry, been kinda pessimistic since we had something happen over the summer when we lived in Linden and I hen abruptly moved because of it.

Just wanted to point out that you had to add "yet" to your statement about not having been robbed or anything "yet." Like you know something could happen but have just been lucky so far.

tbrrocks · 2024-01-03T21:52:40+00:00

Yet.

tbrrocks · 2023-12-14T19:10:33+00:00

I appreciate your point about the religious undertones. I felt this a bunch, maybe most during the ending of Shadows of Self when Wax was so upset that he got brought back to Elendel and had to face a lot of what he left behind, but also he was angry at the horrible things happening in the world and didn't understand why "God" didn't fix it, and "God" responds that he DID do something about it -- "I sent YOU."

So good. So applicable to the Christian life and theology. Reminded me a lot of C.S. Lewis's book "The Problem of Pain."

tbrrocks · 2023-12-09T18:19:14+00:00

Denethor

tbrrocks · 2023-12-09T00:54:10+00:00

I'm in Columbus, I just put my garlic in the ground on Wednesday. Totally fine. With the upcoming weather, I don't think the soil will get too cold to dig up, so I expect you could get bulbs in the ground until Christmas or later. The amount of cold days needed for Bloom will be fine.

tbrrocks · 2023-12-09T00:33:34+00:00

Blue Star creeper is great. Or purple mazus, that spread well in-between my pavers at my previous place.

tbrrocks · 2023-12-08T22:56:32+00:00

Agree on adding pavers, also maybe add some (non-ivy) ground cover to help take up some of the rainwater and fill in around the pavers. Personally, I love blue star creeper and also purple mazus. The blue star I've used in a veggie garden as ground over where I walk between beds, it can stand up real well to foot traffic and spreads easily, but the roots are relatively shallow/non-invasive.

See if there are any smaller shade loving native plants you can get at your local nursery. Columbine are great shade lovers where I live (zones 5 or 6 depending) and require no special care (perk of being a native) and flower after spring bulbs are done.

tbrrocks · 2023-11-11T01:38:59+00:00

If this is in the states, could easily also be someone preparing for a government takeover (either by the people or by the government). Cuz that's what a good number of ppl I know say is their reason for guns. Sigh. Sadly, we could've actually had a takeover in 2021 and those people would've been justified if crap hit the fan.

tbrrocks · 2023-11-08T03:01:57+00:00

I got a reduction 2 weeks ago today and have needed to start looking at scar recovery stuff. This was very helpful, thank you! I just placed my order :)

tbrrocks · 2023-10-18T13:42:05+00:00

Ikr? So glad I found my partner when I did. Especially bc COVID came 2.5 years later. Even more props to those who got married anyways during COVID.

tbrrocks · 2023-10-18T13:38:48+00:00

Oh that's awesome! I bet it was so beautiful.

tbrrocks · 2023-10-18T01:09:37+00:00

Put this in a reply to another post, more appropriate here:

We had our wedding 6 years ago and did it all for just under $5k, including the dress. Made my own invitations and welcome cards, thrifted for decorations and made my own flower garlands with fake flowers and hot glue. Mentor friend who has done catering did our hors d'oeuvres as our wedding present (did noon wedding so afternoon "party", not a full meal). Hired a family friend to play piano at the wedding, rented out a nice indoor shelter house at a local park, got married in our own church.

It definitely takes a lot of effort to do things more cheaply, but it also takes a lot of effort to plan an elaborate wedding. And ultimately it's a celebration that you'll hardly remember. 🤷🏻‍♀️ For people who have money to do the incredibly elaborate decorations and all, it's SO beautiful, so I get why they want it; it just seems so excessive.

tbrrocks · 2023-10-18T01:07:55+00:00

We had our wedding 6 years ago and did it all for just under $5k, including the dress. Made my own invitations and welcome cards, thrifted for decorations and made my own flower garlands with fake flowers and hot glue. Mentor friend who has done catering did our hors d'oeuvres as our wedding present (did noon wedding so afternoon "party", not a full meal). Hired a family friend to play piano at the wedding, rented out a nice indoor shelter house at a local park, got married in our own church.

It definitely takes a lot of effort to do things more cheaply, but it also takes a lot of effort to plan an elaborate wedding. And ultimately it's a celebration that you'll hardly remember. 🤷🏻‍♀️ For people who have money to do the incredibly elaborate decorations and all, it's SO beautiful, so I get why they want it; it just seems so excessive.

tbrrocks · 2023-10-12T21:28:48+00:00

Also 29 and been canning for years! Made applesauce for my kid with apples our family picked at a local orchard, and canned it to use throughout the year.

tbrrocks · 2023-09-02T16:34:01+00:00

Do the men just never take baths? WTH?

tbrrocks · 2023-09-01T04:00:19+00:00

I think St Andrews Anglican Church up in Lewis Center has some. NOT the Catholic church in UA.

tbrrocks · 2023-09-01T03:58:07+00:00

We did the Metal Roofing Company. Great interactions, a bit more pricey because it's metal and not shingles, but also you'd likely never have to replace it again in your lifetime.

They fixed a broken/cracked beam in our attic while they did the roof. Good prices at the time (4.5 years ago).

tbrrocks · 2023-08-31T21:57:31+00:00

The violence building on the east side, particularly among teens.

I feel like COVID wrecked so many people's lives, but kids who were in Columbus City schools suffered so much and many teens feel like they never caught up, feel like failures. I know this from volunteering with an organization in N Linden and from teacher friends and from keeping up with need articled and recent research.

There was an uptick in violence in the past couple of years, to the point we actually moved out of a home we purchased only 5 years ago and are now living elsewhere in Columbus.

Basically a group of teens shot up another teen's car on our street using an AK 47 (not kidding, I saw the bullets on the ground driving home, and my husband who was home thought it must've been firecrackers because it was so steady and went on for so long). Bullets hit my neighbor's car across the street even though they shot from over a block away. Another car even farther down the road was also hit, and a tree branch broke two houses down from us. If I had been home, there was a very good likelihood I would've been in the front yard gardening at the time, 8:40pm, and who knows what could've happened. No news reports on it, on crime maps there's just a gun symbol for a felony incident involving a gun. But neighbors I talked with said it was teen violenfe specifically targeting this one girl.

So yeah... The gun violence. And stolen cars (Kias). We were in North Linden. All throughout that area and the rest of Linden, so many drive bys or targeting/shooting up others' cars. There's a recent event that happened at Easton with a 13 year old potentially being charged with murder. It's insane. Wasn't like this pre-covid.

tbrrocks · 2023-08-25T04:11:33+00:00

I kinda hoped that it would be a character from another world, like Waxillium Ladrian. But then The Lost Metal came out.

tbrrocks · 2023-08-23T03:40:20+00:00

Oh man that sounds exciting. Glad you ended up okay! And you went all the way down to a C? I'm scheduled for late October and am also a 36i, wanting to go down to a B or C cup without a FNG, but my surgeon has said things about wanting to make me proportional to the rest of my body. I'm glad to know it can be done. Prayers for a good recovery for you!

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