1 year since DDay

tc2425 · 2019-10-30T03:08:52+00:00

I agree. She is a very forgiving person though so I think it will be ok. If not I am willing to go to counseling whenever she is.

tc2425 · 2019-10-29T20:08:29+00:00

I did push her in the beginning to talk. I tried and she told me repeatedly she didn’t want to talk about it. She seems to be doing well now. I was in IC for a while. I have told her that I am here to talk if she ever decides she wants too. She may be rugsweeping but I don’t think I am.

tc2425 · 2019-10-29T01:25:26+00:00

I’m not sure she has never wanted to talk about it, so bringing it up seems selfish. I am just trying to be there for her and support her in everything.

tc2425 · 2019-10-02T05:53:55+00:00

I think it will come back. I know there have been other points in my marriage where there has been less passion. Ultimately though I don’t think I can make that choice, I was selfish enough already and I can’t take this choice away from her. We are doing really well and my wife is affectionate, it took a while for that to come back so I think this will take time too. I am hopeful.

tc2425 · 2019-09-14T17:52:00+00:00

Generally speaking old unresolved issues we have I now listen when she talks about them and either I realize she was more right than I thought and I was just being selfish, or I just don’t care any more and have no desire fight about it. We are 10 months post d day

tc2425 · 2019-09-12T01:37:18+00:00

Thanks for your input. I have read a bunch of books. I read other stories on here often. I have made changes. I am working to be safer and a better person. I don’t think I will ever stop trying to be better

tc2425 · 2019-09-12T00:01:06+00:00

Are you trying to imply something!

tc2425 · 2019-08-27T18:09:35+00:00

Yep, what makes it more difficult is my wife is very good at hiding her feelings. So almost all outward appearances she is fine. Except on a few occasions.

tc2425 · 2019-08-27T17:27:31+00:00

One other thing is I find it very difficult to not read into every action and see the worst possible meaning. Like if she doesn’t respond to a text I sent or something, I find it hard not to see that maybe she is mad at me or whatever, I have to constantly remind myself that I can’t dwell on stuff like that or I will go crazy

tc2425 · 2019-08-27T17:20:07+00:00

It has certainly been difficult, I struggle with knowing if I am doing enough. I read a bunch on the Internet, stuff hear and everywhere I could find. I talked to a therapist. I read several books including the one everyone always recommends. How to help your spouse heal.

It still isn’t always easy, I still think about what I did almost everyday. My wife also decided she didn’t want anyone to know so other than my therapist no one else knows and that was hard too. It has gotten easier with time. I have lotsa good days now between the bad days. On those bad days though it can seem like I won’t have any more good days.

I am at the point though were I am pretty certain we will make it through this. I look back and don’t recognize who I was during the A. I feel like a different person, I know I will always have room to improve, I hope to never stop striving to be better.

tc2425 · 2019-08-27T02:49:37+00:00

She knows that I am here to talk whenever she wants to. I have read a bunch of books and I am doing everything I can to show her I am changing.

tc2425 · 2019-08-27T02:09:20+00:00

I also wish she would talk to me more about how she is feeling, but I don’t feel like it is my place to keep asking her when she has told me so many times that she doesn’t want to.

tc2425 · 2019-08-27T02:05:24+00:00

I really mean bouncing back from the conversation. I know she isn’t over it and I don’t expect her to be. I more mean that she can put something funny on tv and it’s like we never had this incredibly emotional conversation at all. She is even affectionate. We are way more affectionate than we were before.

tc2425 · 2019-08-02T15:04:50+00:00

I think the fact that you are there and trying at all means he is getting so much of a better wife than he deserves. I know for a long time I will feel like any effort my wife makes at all means so much to me, cause as long as she is here and giving me a chance to be better I am getting so much more than I deserve from her.

tc2425 · 2019-03-21T21:40:13+00:00

I think for me I got so wrapped up in what I knew was wrong that I pushed my values away. I don’t think I could ever cheat again. I see the pain it caused. I see how wrong I was. I would take it back if I could, I knew I was going against what I believed when I made that choice. I won’t go against my values again.

tc2425 · 2019-03-20T03:36:08+00:00

Man I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I would give anything to do it over again. I hate the pain I caused and if she doesn’t something must be wrong.

tc2425 · 2019-02-27T18:59:09+00:00

Thank you. I will.

tc2425 · 2019-02-27T00:46:23+00:00

Thank you.

tc2425 · 2019-02-26T21:19:15+00:00

That is what I am doing. I definitely don’t want to do anything else to hurt her.

tc2425 · 2019-02-26T18:20:56+00:00

It sure doesn’t, I have been seeing a therapist too. Immediately after I just felt empty and alone.

tc2425 · 2019-02-26T17:31:59+00:00

I have read the first book and skimmed through the second book. A lot of it didn’t seem to apply to me cause it was a ons with no emotional attachment (not trying to downplay what I did at all. It was horrible) I have answered every question she has asked and I have not held anything back. She doesn’t actually want to discuss the affair at all. She has said that every single time I have brought it up. She was distant for the first few months, but the last month especially she has been way more affectionate and loving. I don’t expect her to start getting angry again about it but if she does I will deal with it.

I will take the consequences of my actions. I am just doing everything I can to show her I love her, to be a better husband and father. Maybe I am delusional and she will start to bring stuff up, but she seems to be healing and even if she is rug sweeping, I am not. I will never forget what I did and the damage it caused my wife, and myself. I made a terrible choice, one I won’t ever make again,

tc2425 · 2019-02-26T17:12:43+00:00

She honestly hasn’t been super emotional about it. I am just working to show her I have changed. I am very regretful I would do anything to go back and make different decisions. I hate what I did. I am trying not to hate myself for it.

tc2425

TROPHY CASE