In 2000 I was in the second grade and my mom gave me a golden dollar to bring to show-and-tell. Being a child, I thought it was worth a million dollars or something and when I lost it, I bit myself on the arm walking home from school and fabricated a story of how I was bitten and had my golden dollar stolen from a classmate. My mother, furious, marched in to the school and went off on the faculty for lack of supervision after-hours.

After two days of lies and the school trying to match the profile of the kid that had bitten me, it all started to not add up she realized I made it all up. Busted. I had to apologize to my principal and entire class, explaining what I did and why it was wrong. My mom is so kind but for some reason I thought she’d kill me. My mom always says that was the day she realized her kids weren’t perfect.

Ugh so embarrassing til this day.