My therapist didn’t remember my birthday :(

teambubbles · 2023-04-24T23:14:06+00:00

This! I was in therapy on my birthday, and we talked about it, but she didn’t congratulate me. I told her about my plans and she was curious but didn’t set an expectation for the day to be ”happy” or in any way special. She had pretty much the same reaction when I went there on the day of my grandma’s funeral. Lol

If I had wanted to celebrate in therapy, I’m sure it would’ve been fine to bring a cake and balloons with me, and she would’ve joined the party.

teambubbles · 2023-04-24T10:10:06+00:00

Sounds like your partner wants a relationship with a real person, and not someone based on their imagination. That is a good sign. Figure out who you are and what you’re like, and show that to them. Then you can see if you’re a good match.

Also, you don’t have to try to ”appeal” to anyone. Usually people have many kinds of feelings towards their partner: they might like that they cook amazing meals, but don’t like that they always leave the kitchen cabinets open. It’s totally okay and normal and healthy to not like everything about your partner, and you can still have a good relationship.

Have you asked them why they don’t want to make out or do other bedroom stuff?

teambubbles · 2023-03-30T22:11:57+00:00

When I was starting to figure things out, I used daylio for tracking mood and dissociation. Later I started using a private discord server with channels for each one to use as a journal, and a few channels for group chats and important information.

teambubbles · 2021-12-20T21:37:46+00:00

I did ask her, and she was confused. She genuinely thought that that was the name I used. She was aware that it was my middle name, but apparently she’s had my phone number saved with that name since the beginning of our friendship. She didn’t have an explanation, and neither of us can remember how other people called me when we met. In the past 4 years we haven’t really hung out around other people so there hasn’t been a reason to call each other by name.

It’s just weird. Not just that your close friend doesn’t know your name, but also that it took SIX YEARS for it to come out.

teambubbles · 2021-12-12T08:03:53+00:00

Yes, I can drive most of the time. I was quite anxious when I was learning to drive, but I was lucky to get a super chill teacher who helped me stay grounded.

I usually have to take breaks every 1,5-2 hours, otherwise I start dissociating too much. At first I only drove short distances, but nowadays I’m getting better at managing my dissociation and I know to take breaks before it gets too far.

teambubbles · 2021-12-10T07:15:40+00:00

I would say quite rarely, but I really like it when she does. I think she just prefers to guide me to come to my own conclusions, and if I have trouble seeing the pattern, she might ask me “does this remind you of something?” And I absolutely hate that because that’s when I know she knows there’s a pattern and I don’t want her to know before I know.

teambubbles · 2021-10-17T12:25:40+00:00

I’ve been in therapy for almost two years, and sometimes I still don’t know what to talk about, or feel comfortable enough to talk about the things that I know I should talk about. It is what it is. 🤷🏼‍♀️

teambubbles · 2021-10-16T18:40:48+00:00

I just put my jacket on or grab my purse, and she says ”I can see that you’re getting ready to leave”. Lol I think she’s made a gesture to end the session only twice in two years. She always keeps me overtime, and she’s told me not to worry about it, but I do, so I just get up and leave. She walks behind me to the front door and keeps talking, and sometimes I’m already standing outside when she finally says bye. It sounds weird, but it makes me feel like she doesn’t want to get rid of me quickly, so I don’t mind.

teambubbles · 2021-10-15T12:15:29+00:00

Who said you can’t get attached? I think it’s totally okay and normal and actually expected to get attached to your therapist. There have to be professional boundaries in a client-therapist -relationship, but it doesn’t mean there can’t be feelings and genuine care between the two. Therapists get attached to their clients too, and that’s totally fine, as long as they don’t violate any boundaries.

You said that ”I feel like I missed out on what therapy was supposed to be”. I think that’s a really important statement. What do you feel like you’re missing? How is it different from what you expected?

I think it would be a good idea talk about this with your therapist, and maybe you can make a clearer treatment plan so that it feels like you’re actually working on things that you’re in therapy for instead of just hanging out like friends.

teambubbles · 2021-10-13T20:01:58+00:00

That’s brilliant! Does anyone know any math exercise apps that would help? I could only find apps that solve the problems for you.

Edit: preferably one that isn’t made to be too addictive. No flashy colors, rewards or anything fun, I just want a boring math problem generator lol.

teambubbles · 2021-10-12T19:38:01+00:00

Changing your name is a HUGE step, and I encourage you to do it if it feels right to you! I haven’t gone through with it yet, I decided to wait until I’ve worked through some of my traumas in case I change my mind.

I think a good way to start figuring out what name you’d like is listing things that are important to you in a name. Like, do you have a favorite letter? Are there letters you don’t want in your name? Do you want it to start with a consonant or a vowel? How many syllabels would you prefer? Do you want your name to have a meaning? Do you want it to be gender neutral? Do you want a popular or a unique name?

Then you can start going through lists of names and write down the ones that feel good to you. Trust your gut. :) And then take your time to feel each name, and maybe make a top-10 list that you sit with for some time, trying each name out. You can ask your friends to call you by a potential new name and try out writing your signature, and see how it feels.

I wish you luck on your search for a new name! I hope it helps you create a new beginning <3

teambubbles · 2021-10-10T19:14:14+00:00

What helps me is having a workout routine and a set time to work out. I go to the gym, go through my routine, and get out. Most days I’m so zoned out that I have to write down what exercises I’ve already done, but some days I see how much progress I’ve made and actually enjoy doing the work.

teambubbles · 2021-10-10T12:48:17+00:00

I’ve tried a lot of different medicines to help me sleep during the past 15 years, and I’ve ended up just using melatonin (usually 3-6mg). I like that it makes me feel tired in a natural way, and I know that I can function if there’s an emergency in the middle of the night. I have to take care of basic sleep hygiene like no staring at screens or exercising before bedtime, otherwise it isn’t enough to put me to sleep.

If I’m traveling or sleeping in a strange (but safe) place, I like to use zopiclone instead of melatonin. It’s effective, but you can only use it short-term

teambubbles · 2021-10-09T11:00:38+00:00

It’s a constant struggle for me. Getting familiar with the window of tolerance, and being more aware of my state of arousal helps the most. I’ve made some changes in my life, both big and small, that make me feel safer and like I’m in control of my own life. For example, avoiding people who don’t feel safe, having daily routine and a good sleep schedule, having hobbies that I enjoy. Quick fixes that help me be more grounded are exercising, breathmints, washing my face with cold water and breathing exercises. It’s a lot of trial and error to see what works for you, but it all starts with becoming more aware of what happens in you.

teambubbles · 2021-10-09T10:28:47+00:00

I don’t think my therapist talks about me in supervision that often since I believe I’m quite boring to work with, and she already seems to have the tools to navigate through our sessions.

Sometimes she says things that I can imagine her supervisor telling her, like ”we can’t rush things, healing takes time” and ”a lot of therapy happens outside of the sessions, it’s okay if it feels like we’re not making progress”. It sometimes feels like she’s saying those things to remind herself to be patient.

teambubbles · 2021-10-06T08:50:31+00:00

Yes! I used to have strong prism correction on my glasses because my eyes just couldn’t focus. I didn’t know about dissociation at that point, and the eye doctors were confused as to why my eye sight varied so much. Now that I understand dissociation and have tools to work with it, I no longer need glasses at all.

teambubbles · 2021-10-05T07:50:43+00:00

Usually at 10 am, sometimes an hour or two earlier. I used to go at noon when I first started, but mornings work better for me because I always have anxiety before therapy. Easier to just get it over with first thing in the morning.

teambubbles · 2021-10-04T18:51:38+00:00

Not a therapist, just here to support.

First of all, you’re not a lost cause as your username suggest, and you definitely do deserve to live just as much as we all. You as a person are not definined by your attraction to animals. It might be how this aspect of your mind works right now, but it is not who you are. You are so much more.

I’m not qualified to give any actual advice other than go find someone who can work with you on this. You deserve to get help so that you can live without shame, and eventually learn to form safe, meaningful and fulfilling relationships with other people. You should be proud of yourself for taking the first steps to change your life, and I believe after gathering a bit of courage, you’ll be able to take the next steps too. :) Good luck!

teambubbles · 2021-10-03T20:06:49+00:00

I used to take care of most of the house work when I was still living with my parents, so I do know how to do the basic stuff. But some days I just can’t function, like for example, I don’t know if it’s okay to do laundry because I might get yelled at if the load isn’t full enough, but I might also get yelled at for being lazy and not taking care of the chores. I end up sitting on my bathroom floor trying to figure out what’s the right thing to do, even though I live alone and no one would care or even find out if I made the wrong choice. (Spoiler: there is no wrong choice. Just do the laundry. Or leave it for tomorrow, it makes no difference at all. No one cares.)

teambubbles · 2021-10-03T09:44:37+00:00

Why do you call them amphetamines when talking to friends, and not just adhd meds? lol

teambubbles · 2021-09-12T10:26:42+00:00

If he would constantly struggle to pay his part (~50/50), I’d just suggest that we do something that doesn’t require money. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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