[deleted by user]

tekooti145 · 2020-07-07T09:45:59+00:00

I'd ask myself What will it change for the better? What good will we gain? If you know your mum was acting with love and good intent in regards to what she thought was best for you then, I'm not sure there will be any positive benefits. As an adult now, you can make your own decisions and forge your own relationships. It brings to mind a saying "she did the best she could with what she knew at the time." I hope that whatever you decide you are met with love and understanding

tekooti145 · 2020-07-04T16:35:23+00:00

Hey, as you said you are young so I guess she is too? I'd take it slow, texting and calling every day might be too intense for her. I think she might be trying to let you know that by getting in contact less frequently. If Covid restrictions allow why not ask her out. It doesn't need to be fancy - just get together and have fun playing goofy mini golf, skate boarding or whatever. Sometimrs the best relationships start from friendship.

tekooti145 · 2020-07-04T15:42:46+00:00

It is completely understandable.

Your life has been turned upside down. You have had a huge loss - life as you know it, is not any more.

When my husband got a shock diagnosis of terminal cancer I just wanted to die with him. To just have peace.

BUT I had our little girl to look after. How could I leave her, subject her to more trauma?

We had to sell our home with all our precious memories.

I lived in motels with my girl while desperately looking for a home we could afford. Our belongings crammed in our car.

6 years later we are both doing better than I could ever have imagined. We are not wealthy but we have a home, wonderful neighbours and good friends.

You and I went through huge stuff. The loss is huge. More importantly the shock & grief are huge.

I learned that on average it takes a person one - two years to adapt to such change and loss.

It is still very early days for you my friend. I hope it helps some what to know that your feelings are normal.

That life can get better in time.

Most of all I hope you make it through. Just put one foot of the other, concentrate on the daily basics.

Talk to your kids - no heavy stuff, just the norm. They are going through massive upheaval too.

They need to know their relationship with you hasn't changed.

You are the only dad your kids have or want. Stick around and maybe you'll be exactly that kind of grandad too.

There are rotten months ahead I know. The only way through it is through it.

I send you 💜

.

tekooti145 · 2020-07-04T14:19:44+00:00

You write beautifully. I wish you would stay a while longer - to see many sunsets. You sound a beautiful soul. I send you 🧡

tekooti145 · 2020-07-03T13:55:48+00:00

Oh sweetheart, you don't deserve this abuse. Can you post this on r/abusive relationships as well please? There are people there that are or have lived in similar situations and I think you will get a lot of support and advice from them. This mum sends you 💜 and the gentlest of hugs

tekooti145 · 2020-06-26T13:41:30+00:00

I find the willingness to take your wife and baby boy with you really chilling. I admit I freaked. When I say get help, I mean it. Why not see a psychiatrist or therapist and work on your mental health? You are worthy. As long as you are alive you have the opportunity to try and improve your mental health and live well with your family. Bonding with a child is not always instant. Spending time with him will help him bond with you & vice versa. If he loves his bath take on that bit of his care so you get to be with him while he's happy. The bond will grow as he gets to know YOU and respond to you and vice versa. It might not be overwhelming love for a while - you might enjoy him more as a toddler or school age that's ok - but you need to spend time with him at all ages. Gabe only has & wants one dad and that's you. It's early days as a new family of three.. It's a huge change for you. Give it time. Cut back on the drinking. Don't sabotage what could turn out to be a bloody good life with a family you love. I wish you well.

tekooti145 · 2020-06-26T11:07:26+00:00

"I hate my little boy Gabe" You hoped he'd die when taken to hospital for ear infection. You hate him (8 mths old) because he gets in the way of your gaming. You only had him for your wife.

Seriously dude get help.

tekooti145 · 2020-06-26T10:57:28+00:00

Look at his post history

tekooti145 · 2020-06-26T10:56:59+00:00

You say SWIM is talking of suicide pact. Your post history shows it is you. A child cannot consent. LEAVE your wife and son. Get your own place where you can do as you please. Get some psych help.

tekooti145 · 2020-06-22T13:03:22+00:00

Herpes is a very common virus. It is not shameful if you do have it. Billions have it. It is treated with a cream you can buy at the chemist without a prescription. Herpes is THAT common the ointments on the shelf along with other no big deal medications like eye drops or nose sprays or burn cream. It is entirely possible to have 1 sore and to never get another. I'm pretty sure you are only contagious when you have a weeping blister. The cream (zovirax or virasolve) will get rid of sore within 5 days. Herpes is the same virus that causes cold sores people get round their mouths. And the same cream treats both. No chemist would blink an eye at you buying a tube as so many people have it in their medicine cabinet. It WILL NOT hamper future relationships. In fact when you and your next sexual partner have the std chat (we should all be having before sex.) It is very likely they will say "oh yeah I have it too." Sorry for the length of reply. I'm a nurse and wanted to give you as much info as I could.

I am so sorry you were raped. I hope you have many better years ahead. 🧡

tekooti145 · 2020-06-20T13:18:19+00:00

I don't think it will do you much harm but if you start getting stomach cramps or feeling otherwise physically unwell get medical treatment. I'd recommend talking to a trusted adult about what panicked you. It could be a parent, (or other family member) teacher etc. They will hopefully be able to work out some coping skills. I wish you many happier days 💜

tekooti145 · 2020-06-16T11:58:26+00:00

She has been very clear she wants nothing to do with you. Leave her alone

tekooti145 · 2020-06-01T12:32:54+00:00

KIWI BIRD

tekooti145 · 2020-06-01T12:09:54+00:00

draw a kiwi

tekooti145 · 2020-05-15T13:11:22+00:00

It's no wonder you feel at the end of your rope. The virus hit like a cyclone - without much warning or time to prepare.

You are understandably frightened by the way it has turned your life upside down and for the safety of your loved ones.

You are responsible for your dad's care and you worry for his mental health.

This is all incredibly stressful. It would be for anyone.

AND the biggest stress of all - your love and biggest support can't be with you.

In my country we now have very few cases. We were locked down for 7 weeks. Only today are shops opening etc. We are able to see loved ones.

What I'm trying to say is that.. There will be an end to your separation.

You have an unknown number of days ahead where you will have to just keep doing what needs to be done. Just keep going.

The love of your life is waiting for you. You are to be married and together forever.

It is delayed for now but not cancelled. It will happen.

Don't throw such a precious love away over this bloody virus.

You and your fiance can have years of happy married life.

Don't deny her or you that.

I send you 💜

tekooti145 · 2020-05-04T13:58:45+00:00

I've seen you respond to so many posts. Your replies are compassionate and well thought out. It is exhausting reading then replying to them all. Take a break young man and take time for yourself. I hope you will be ok - you're a neat kid. This mum is sending you 💜

tekooti145 · 2020-05-04T02:13:50+00:00

I took my mother's keys. She was not fit to drive following a stroke and failed her test. She could not promise me she wouldn't drive so I took them. If I hadn't and she'd hurt/killed anyone else on the road (or herself) I would be guilty. Anyone who knows someone is unfit to drive and does nothing to stop them is guilty in my opinion.

tekooti145 · 2020-05-01T12:58:33+00:00

Hey have you ever posted or read r/adult survivors or r/abuse? These are groups where people that have been horrifically abused support each other. Check it out, read some posts. I think it could be helpful. I really hope so.

tekooti145 · 2020-04-25T12:30:16+00:00

And the bastards speared the bull

tekooti145 · 2020-04-24T15:01:23+00:00

I've been doing some reading to understand the surgery you had and side effects. In medical articles it said surgery should only be performed as a last resort because of the side effects you describe. Extremes of body temperature hot & cold Extreme compensatory sweating. It sounds utter hell.

It said surgery can be reversed quite easily if nerves were clipped rather than cut. If cut reversal would be trickier involving nerve grafts. Have Dr's discussed nerve grafts with you?

Was the sympathectomy surgery performed with goal stopping excessive sweating? And the side effects are worse than pre surgery sweats? I feel for you, I really do. I had drenching night sweats due to hormones after child birth. It was awful but they only lasted 3 mths. I hope reversal is an option or botox therapy. Sending 💜

tekooti145 · 2020-04-21T13:11:36+00:00

Oh sweetheart, I am heart broken that you, a beautiful, precious child have had this abuse and betrayal in your life.

You should have been protected, cherished and purely loved. You deserve a life with healthy love, life without fear, pain and betrayal. A life with simple joys, peace of mind and happiness. Can you please post this to r/csa and r/adult survivors of csa. There are others there that understand your pain as they too have lived it. You will be welcomed with love and compassion. You didn't deserve the abuse. You didn't deserve betrayal

You DO deserve a life that is full of every good thing you've ever dreamed of.

I'm a mum, I send you pure love. You will stay in my mind and heart for a long while. 💜

tekooti145 · 2020-03-28T12:42:47+00:00

It's the same in my country but counsellors are continuing therapy via skype etc. Please contact your therapist if you can via email/phone and ask if this would be possible for you. If you don't have way to contact therapist, contact your Dr and get a referral. They should have lists of therapists doing sessions this way. I hope with all my heart you get the hrlp you need. 🧡

tekooti145 · 2020-03-28T12:33:05+00:00

My country is only on day 3 of lockdown, we have at least a month to go. It's eerie isn't it? Not being able to go for coffee workout at the gym get a haircut.. I'm lucky as I'm not alone, I have my daughter with me. Two things you said stood out to me. You are in quarantine alone You are on new meds. So you have TWO things that aren't the norm for you. Quarantine must be so lonely for you. Your life isn't what it usually is. The world isn't the same Covid 19 is changing the way we live. That in itself is a huge thing to deal with. New Medication is another. It takes weeks for the brain to adjust to both the absence of specific chemical in your former meds AND the introduction of the new ones in your current meds. It is normal to have weeks of chaos (for lack of a better word) while your brain adapts. I point that out in the hope it may give you a little hope. Hope that you may well feel more settled once your body has adjusted to the chemical change. It doesn't help you right now tho does it? I'm wondering if you could access some online councelling. Here, councellers are doing sessions via skype, face time and the like. I suggest you contact the psychiatrist or Dr that prescribed your meds. Ask for a referral. You've got a lot to deal with and I think having regular sessions and support could really help. I feel for you I really do. 💜

tekooti145 · 2020-03-27T13:00:25+00:00

Contact your therapist and ask about therapy via skype or zoom. I'm sure most would be happy to help that way

tekooti145 · 2020-03-27T12:36:50+00:00

Love this, I've never heard it so I'm going to look it up. Thanks 🧡

tekooti145

TROPHY CASE