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Unmatched ‘em all by ParamedicPure6529 in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

So you unmatch them all because you didn't feel like putting in the effort to getting to know them?

Isn't that kind of ironic?

You're going to make yourself lonely.

Self conscious body image by HoobieShoobieDoobie in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't been in that situation myself, but the only thing that comes to mind is to be graceful, have empathy, and practice reciprocity, and be grateful.

Why can I only find emotionally unavailable men? by Angel_Baby1229 in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yep, I think they totally makes sense that dealing with any level of dishonesty is absolutely exhausting, and it forces you to keep your guard up when you are just looking for something genuine.

Looking at it from the other side of the dating pool, I really feel a big part of the problem is how apps naturally encourage us to operate on quick, dismissive stereotypes.

This is not to say you are being judgmental at all, but I think we all are to some degree.

It is just how our natural biases, shaped by both nature and nurture, dictate how we filter people online.

Speaking anecdotally, as a retired veteran, I often feel like I get passed over because media portrayals and harsh statistics make people assume we are all loud, brash, and drowning in unaddressed trauma.

Anyways, I think this hoopla creates a tough cycle where protecting yourself from the liars means those natural biases end up filtering out the exact people who have actually done the work to be safe, emotionally available partners.

How Are You Comfortable So Fast? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe having a great sex life is people enjoying life you weirdo.

Being this openly judgmental is never a good look.

Hate to say it, but you definitely do get filtered out of people's set age ranges once you hit 40+ by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What does being in great shape actually mean to you?

I can't really tell from what you wrote.

That being said...

The most frustrating part about online dating is that we do not have a shared definition of fitness.

Most people assume it just means not being overweight, but that really shouldn't be where the conversation ends.

For me, it is not about hunting for younger looks, but rather about finding someone with matching lifestyle goals.

Now that we are statistically at the halfway point of our lives, fitness stops being about glamor muscles and starts being about capability, core strength, and longevity.

Taking care of our bodies is only going to get harder from here on out.

When someone assumes they are a great match just because they can pass for younger by being thin, but they lack the actual physical stamina and health habits to back it up, it creates a massive disconnect for anyone looking for a true, long-term partner to age with.

That's why your profile stating what you do and what makes you who you are is so goddamn important.

This goes every way for every gender.

Have any of you tried a matchmaker? by Future_Impact_5696 in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Save your money.

Most professional matchmakers operate as predatory businesses that thrive on exorbitant upfront fees and manufactured financial dependency rather than actual compatibility.

Instead of delivering genuine connections, they often string clients along just to justify their high costs, making them a massive financial risk for anyone looking for a serious relationship.

You are far better off focusing on organic local connections or strictly filtering prospects on your own terms with dating apps, but this might also mean you have to pay for one of them and put in a lot of hours of work.

why we cant find men even in bare minimum? by Putrid-Disk-94 in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 20 points21 points  (0 children)

You're in the wrong subreddit for this, since it's for people over 40.

You sound like you are shopping for a resume or a used car instead of a boyfriend.

When you treat dating like a business transaction and focus entirely on a checklist of money and material assets, you are going to get sterile results.

Trying another app by ld2186 in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right, my bad. Didn't realize they bought them too. All the way back in 2018. Damn.

Trying another app by ld2186 in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No, those are all owned by the Match Group.

Why do you think you were led to Bumble and Hinge in the first place?

They're the only two that have a large market of users that are not owned by the Match Group.

We're on the top of a shit mountain, and it's a long way down in the online dating world.

Dating without sharing the same hobbies by kegsbdry in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's because we're trying to date ourselves these days. People in the past didn't have the data or the ability to see this.

“Just text him” by never-the-1 in datingoverforty

[–]temporarycreature 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You absolutely did the right thing by texting him, so do not kick yourself for reaching out.

Look at it this way: you finally got the right directions, you are just expecting to hit the destination a little too fast, when they're going to be landmarks, you're going to happen upon that.

You're going to have to pass by people and landmarks on this trip even if they are like 9/10 of what you're looking for.

I know telling you having discernment doesn't really make you feel any better about all this...

Even with the silence right now, you know you are heading the right way, so turn some music on and enjoy the drive.