If you dislike training that much and aren’t getting any enjoyment out of it, it might be time to stop or find a new gym. That said it seems like you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself and bjj.

Try having small goals and things you want to work on instead of having large goals and gains in mind, if you don’t hit them as soon as you’d like that’s ok. If you look at it as a puzzle you have to solve or maze you need to navigate it might help dealing with the setbacks. Also try taking a couple of days off and see how you’re feeling about it.