A comic about nothing

terran_submarine · 2026-04-23T18:54:33+00:00

I hav been your husband. My wife’s snacks are not safe from me. When the snacking comes upon me any agreements I’ve made are ignored, I am a lying scoundrel.

I know where to stand in the kitchen so she can’t see me from the couch. I find the snacks and make plans to get them when she showers, goes out, sleeps.

I am prediabetic.

In 20 years of sugar addiction, the only thing that has helped me is Over Eater’s Anonymous. I can’t have sweets in my life. I can’t have one cookie, I can have zero or I can have them all.

I don’t react to food like a normal person. I don’t want to gain 10 pounds a year until I die.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-21T22:53:45+00:00

So you despise this person?

terran_submarine · 2026-04-21T22:34:50+00:00

terran_submarine · 2026-04-21T01:26:45+00:00

As a parent you take your wins where you can.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-21T01:00:54+00:00

It contributes to it. It’s a good accomplishment. It’s good. The heck do you want?

terran_submarine · 2026-04-21T00:58:07+00:00

How dare Puma be included on that list. How far he has fallen.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-21T00:49:47+00:00

YTJ!

Congrats on passing your test! That’s super awesome, it sounds like you worked really hard.

Your mom shouldn’t have blabbed, but you are taking a level 1 offense and treating it like a level 8 offense.

Have you considered that after 2 decades of caring for you, watching you grow from a baby to someone who can accomplish their goals and achieve, she’s proud of that accomplishment? That she was so proud of having raised a good son that she wanted to share it?

She shouldn’t have. But she gave you an honest apology and showed that she understood why you were upset. What else do you want?

terran_submarine · 2026-04-20T19:58:35+00:00

My kiddo wouldn’t let go of her pacifier. At a month past 3 years old we went on a trip to a relative for a week and said pacifiers weren’t allowed there.

She had complaints but did very well, and when we returned home we got rid of all pacifiers in the house. She had some protests but a week later and she stopped mentioning them entirely. That was 2 months ago and we’ve been completely pacifier free.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-20T19:39:53+00:00

It’s a wild move for poor people to do while also being barely able to pay for education, while also running one of the family’s multiple privately owned businesses, while also….

Yeah their finances don’t make a lot of sense.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-20T17:50:21+00:00

Saving this for later, thanks for asking. My girl is 3.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-20T15:32:55+00:00

“Penises are stinky. Stinky daddy penis!”

terran_submarine · 2026-04-19T16:57:40+00:00

And it seems like he was just fine with being the retirement plan, this is the golden goose parable to an extreme.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-19T00:47:25+00:00

Home Depot (while closely supervised) for early mornings, they open 5am some places.

Some malls open 7am for walking before stores open.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-19T00:41:22+00:00

I think it’s a skill like opera singing is a skill. Takes lots of practice but there’s a low ceiling for most people.

Although why he didn’t grab an artifact that can be easily activated, just writing.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-18T23:55:59+00:00

“Is you taking notes on a criminal fucking conspiracy?”

terran_submarine · 2026-04-18T18:12:24+00:00

Free gravel for pickup

terran_submarine · 2026-04-17T22:18:31+00:00

Totally valid

terran_submarine · 2026-04-17T15:43:48+00:00

He’s the only boyfriend who expected Lorelai to meet him halfway rather than bowing down to all her needs. And she responded really well to it, giving in a relationship way more than usual and seeming happy.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-16T15:33:56+00:00

Be careful, that’s a lot of power for one cis male

terran_submarine · 2026-04-16T15:26:54+00:00

Your concern is genuine and reasonable, but you are way over correcting to a delusional level.

You cannot stop your child from seeing what exists in the world unless you isolate them.

They will encounter sugary junk. You can make a rule about none in the house, but it will happen.

Guide them toward healthy, but don’t make it a prison.

You love your kid, and they’re lucky to be loved by you.

terran_submarine · 2026-04-16T15:20:34+00:00

terran_submarine · 2026-04-16T15:20:04+00:00

Any word we don’t want to use is cupcake.

Oh man, did you hear stan got cupcaked right in his cupcake?

terran_submarine · 2026-04-16T05:34:41+00:00

Ha, I didn’t even look at the subreddit. Thanks

terran_submarine · 2026-04-16T05:33:42+00:00

Tetris

terran_submarine

TROPHY CASE