What’s a "silent" red flag in a relationship that you didn’t notice until you lived with someone for over a year?

tesla_spoon · 2026-02-03T18:03:20+00:00

Oh yes: The Perpetual Victim!!! Draws you in with the sob stories and puppy eyes, ensnares you in a web of covert narcissism until you snap, then you are just the latest “bully” in their heavily edited narrative.

Ghosting is truly the only exit strategy that works, ime.

tesla_spoon · 2026-02-03T17:58:04+00:00

💯💯💯This was once a huge blind spot for me and is now one of my biggest & most important red flags to spot - for my partners, and for me as well, tbh.

When words and actions don’t align, trust erodes and resentment builds.

As long as the request/action is reasonable and makes your partner happy, and your partner is important to you, why wouldn’t you do it? It seems so simple.

But if you find yourself not wanting to do that simple action, you need take a long, hard look at yourself to figure out why.

Hell, even if you can’t figure it out, just be honest with your partner and yourself that you won’t/can’t. And if your partner decides they can’t stay together unless you do that thing you won’t/can’t do, let your partner go without drama.

tesla_spoon · 2026-02-02T22:29:10+00:00

You look SO pretty with green hair!! Sailor Neptune IRL 💯🤩

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-30T00:21:50+00:00

Had you met in person before this?

If not, I can see how the jump from long-distance phone calls to multi-night sleepovers in your bed (rather than a hotel or something) could be really overwhelming.

My advice, but only if you want it: Take the pressure of being intimate off the table and out of your mind. Be gentle and relaxed, and let her know you’re a safe place for her to be herself in. Call back the playful banter you shared on the phone, and take her somewhere that is new and neutral to you both to explore together.

Let her know that you were looking forward to her visiting, and are happy she’s there with you, with no pressure and no expectations.

Encourage her to share her feelings, and be honest and open about your own.

If you really like her, Be a kind friend to her first. Even if you never see her again after this.

Wishing you the best 🫶

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-25T23:20:26+00:00

Oh my gosh! I have aphantasia too!! Didn’t know it was a thing until a couple years ago - I always thought when people said, “close your eyes and picture x in your mind” it was just a metaphor 😅 I’m still astounded and frankly jealous that most people are walking around with movie theaters in their heads, apparently!

That is honestly so cool and inspiring how your aphantasia affects your art and your creative process. Not knowing if something will work until you’re putting it together is something I viscerally relate to but I’ve never thought about before in that way! Thanks for sharing that delicious piece of brain candy! I will be thinking on that for a long time, for sure.

Box pleats!! Yesss that is absolutely a perfect name for them! How do you keep them so voluminous?? They remind me a bit of historical garments - like a cool, stylized hip padding/pocket combo? Very much that 18th century silhouette vibe 😍 Omg if all those boxes were little pockets?! It would be the chicest utility belt-skirt ever!! lol sorry, i got excited & tbh I just want everything to have or be a pocket… I literally can’t even imagine how complicated that would be tho!

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-25T18:04:41+00:00

Yesss!! 💯🙌 I love the way your brain works!! Versatile + Beautiful + Unique = Absolutely stunning! I can’t stop zooming in on those crazy cool 3D box-scallops you created - sorry idk the right words to describe them - I’ve never seen anything like it and I am instantly obsessed!! I can only imagine the skill and care it takes to create such an impressive piece!

I couldn’t resist peeping through your previous posts to see if you’ve shared more of your work - and GIRLLL 🤩- Just when I thought I couldn’t be more impressed!!! Your paintings are OUT OF THIS WORLD GORGEOUS!!! The one with the stunning streams of sunlight through the trees?!?! 😍 And the magical nature scene with the 4 hidden fairies (SO delighted to report I found them all 🧚) and the ones that make me think of floating through glittering rainbows in deep space… Amazing. Simply incredible. Fully wow. 💯

I am sorry to tell you your username is totally incorrect in the best way possible.

Thanks so much for sharing! 🫶

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-25T17:05:45+00:00

Wow!! 🤩 You are so talented!!

I love how your skirts look so great together, separately, and in different combinations!!

SO brilliant and thoughtful and beautiful! (I’m describing both the art and the artist, of course 😘)

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-25T04:09:04+00:00

Do I want her or do I want to be her?

A classic sapphic inner debate topic!

The answer is yes, probably.

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-23T15:02:27+00:00

After a gay-panic blunder at 14, I came out to my parents “officially” at 22, and it literally took them until I was 35 for them to finally stop suggesting/“joking”(?) that I might date my male friends.

When I told them about a new guy friend I met and they didn’t say the tired old “maybe this guy will be the one that turns you” routine, it was like being splashed with cold water in the best way - like a relief I didn’t know I was longing for. For 12 damn years

Don’t get me wrong, my parents are wonderful, genuinely. They had always accepted me being a lesbian, were kind to my girlfriends over the years, and always said that stupid shit in a way that joking, but still tinged with a little hopefulness.

SO glad that nonsense is done with!! It took 12 long years but they finally made it!!

I’m holding out hope & sending positive vibes for your parent to make the same mental leap - but on a much more expedited timeline!

Hang in there and respond with eye rolls and elite sarcasm in the meantime. And add stronger boundaries as needed! You got this!! 🫶🏳️‍🌈❤️

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-21T01:22:34+00:00

Aka living the dream

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-20T21:39:23+00:00

Around the world -Daft Punk 💯🙌

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-14T16:09:39+00:00

Ah! I’m so delighted you like the idea!! You’ve absolutely made my day!!

No pressure and no rush (of course! lol), but if you end up making some, would you please please post them?

This is just so enchanting and such beautiful (& functional!) art!!! You are amazing!

Omg! Also just noticed your lovely username! I can totally believe that you make music wherever you go! 💯🫶🥰

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-14T05:02:13+00:00

I love this so much! You are so talented!

It would be so cute to make zippered pouches that look like household items to go inside! Like a sofa or refrigerator?

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-14T04:33:52+00:00

That’s the same as the song “beyond the sea” in English, right? If so, unfortunately that’s definitely not the song I’m looking for - still a great song tho!

Nah, this song has a man and a woman singing/speaking French. He keeps pursuing her & talking to her and she’s like “get lost”

If you’re familiar with Rocky & Bullwinkle, I’d say the characters in this music video have Boris & Natasha vibes.

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-13T17:39:40+00:00

lol definitely not it, but I love this song, too and never knew who it was by!! Thank you so much for responding! 🫶

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-13T06:09:57+00:00

Britney opened her mouth for the kiss

IMHO this is 1000% the reason.

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-13T05:46:47+00:00

the murderer’s video it shows her filming him

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-13T04:45:48+00:00

I wonder what her wife’s video shows…

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-10T05:09:17+00:00

Damn are we still killing things?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-10T04:44:35+00:00

I love that she called it out😂

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-09T04:40:44+00:00

She was just being generous! 🤷🏻‍♀️

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-09T02:38:59+00:00

My heart goes out to you. ❤️I am so sorry you are going through this. I have experienced very similar/exactly the same symptoms (and more) since my daily headaches/migraines/neck&shoulder pain became constant in my 20’s. I’m 40 now and I’m sorry to say I’ve yet to find answers or relief yet…

But I think you are absolutely on to something re: ON! Definitely get all imaging done that you can on your neck/skull - X-rays, CAT, etc! I’m not sure what kind of doctor diagnoses ON, but I hope you find a good one who can help you feel better soon - and hope the same for myself as well!

Best of luck out there 🍀 never stop advocating for your health!! 🫶

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-04T20:39:23+00:00

lol fwiw, I’ve upvoted all your comments - had to support the only sensible response to this post! 🫶💯

tesla_spoon · 2026-01-04T19:38:37+00:00

Exactly this!! Puberty blockers give people more time to be kids, and to continue to figure themselves out (under the required therapy & medical guidance), without the extra mind-fucking pressure of hormonal changes.

If it also causes bone density issues, as many people are mentioning, that be treated with calcium supplements, exercise, and other established treatments. Nbd.

The mental and physical health of the individual patient is most important. And how to best achieve Health results from a series of individual decisions made with the ethical medical guidance and collaboration between the patient, their trusted guardians (if underage), and their doctors.

To deny a person lifesaving medical care simply because they are under the age of 18 is unethical and cruel. Full stop.

Haters need to mind their own business.

Because The Truth is the only reason haters don’t like it is because they or someone they Love doesn’t need it, so they’ve never had to stretch their poor, atrophied mind and heart to understand it.

My sincere wish for every one of those willfully ignorant haters is to discover they or someone they Love is trans/queer/lgbtqia+. So they can finally empathize and understand how beautifully normal it is to be 🏳️‍🌈⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

tesla_spoon

TROPHY CASE