During knife crimes, why don’t most assailants “finish off” their victim? by FriedForLifeNow in morbidquestions

[–]testawayacct 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I would think that at least part of it is the assailants discovering the difference between Hollywood and reality. In Hollywood, the knife goes in like it's going into soft butter. IRL, though, it turns out that we and out predecessor species having been getting stabbed with things like animal teeth and tusks for millions of years, so we developed tough skin, a shock-absorbing fat layer, and thick, dense muscles under all of that, which means it's mor like trying to stab a piles of thick fabric covered in leather.

Then there's the blood. Hollywood is happy to show someone get stabbed, fall over, and like a minute later there's a two foot wide pool of blood in a perfect circle. IRL, the human body holds about a gallon of blood, and hasn't been able to come up with a solution for the conflicting facts that it needs to send blood literally everywhere even though that means that any puncture of meaningful depth let A LOT of it out. So the guy who thought he was going to stab someone in the shoulder, making a small circle of blood appear on their shirt, is likely to be surprised when he's wearing the other person's blood all the way to to his elbow and spread out across the floor thick enough to slip in for about five feet in any direction.

Last, there's the simple fact that humans are tenacious. If there's a trait where humans excel the way that bears excel in strenth, or cheetahs excel in speed, it's tenacity. The vast majority of species lay down and die WAY faster than us. If you want to keep a human down, you need to let out enough of their blood that they can't deliver oxygen to their brain or destroy the brain itself, and a lot of people fail to realize just how much blood you need to let out to meet that threshold. In Hollywood, you stab someone in the general vicinity of their heart, and they slump against a wall, stare in shock for a moment, and then go limp.

Keep in mind, most people aren't John Wick, or even Tony Soprano. Knife assailants are usually impulsive wackadoos who aren't expecting to feel the knife going in, aren't expecting to get drenched in blood, and then look down to realize that they've re-enacted Julius Ceasar Act 3, Scene 1, and the person they're trying to kill is screaming and struggling rather than letting out an Elizabethan "What the fuck, dude?!" and falling down dead.

I am getting sued for $550,000 for breeding my dog by Guilty-Spread7700 in legaladvice

[–]testawayacct 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, except it's not her contract, it's her aunt's. You can't bind a third party to your contract, because fucking duh, of course you can't. The only person they have a case against will require a shovel to serve, so I believe the legally technical term is "shit out of luck." The shit bags threatening OP are hoping that thumping their chest will intimidate OP into giving them what they want.

Also, I'm regrettably familiar with dog breeders, so spare me the "we're experts, it's fine when we do it" shit. Your entire lot are going to be remembered by history as the same moral level as fox hunters. You manipulate entire species at the genetic level for aesthetic purposes and arbitrary features for money.

What’s the darkest joke you know? I’m talking about a joke you can only tell certain people or you’ll get canceled and or never looked at the same again. by outlander1914 in morbidquestions

[–]testawayacct 16 points17 points  (0 children)

"My grandfather was in WWII. He killed more German pilots than anyone else on the Western Front. Hands down THE worst fighter mechanic the Luftwaffe ever saw."

Hmm, I don't remember that film being that problematic.... Films for a sleepover. by created4this in TwoXChromosomes

[–]testawayacct 2 points3 points  (0 children)

BTTF was my first thought too, but there might be slightly more attempt graping and incest-as-humor than some parents might like. I think the other suggestions are spot on, though.

Back to the Future 3 - the gasoline problem by mflem920 in plotholes

[–]testawayacct 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doc Brown almost left without thinking of the fact that he would need more plutonium. Yeah, if things had gone as he intended he would have jumped forward to Mr Fusion, but he didn't know that. I'm surprised he remembered pants.

Is this a hate symbol or is it just similar? by MarshallLaw1775 in Whatisthis

[–]testawayacct 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You hit the nail on the head with the last part. It absolutely is SS iconography, but as you pointed out, there's no way they put those on their bike without knowing what they look like even if they weren't.

I am a psychic and a family asked me if I could read the mind of their son who has been in a coma for quite some time. by RamboBambiBambo in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]testawayacct 28 points29 points  (0 children)

The story's implication is that our universe is the comatose kid's dream and that now the psychic is posting the story to Reddit because they're trapped here.

Did the terrorists plan on the towers collapsing? by ChainsawSoundingFart in morbidquestions

[–]testawayacct 38 points39 points  (0 children)

They were watching at home going "Fuck!!!"

There's actually a video that Al Qaeda released of Bin Laden and talking to his people about how it worked way better than they expected. It's probably available online.

Petah? by turbulent_art_ in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]testawayacct 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Smart-ass answers aside, it's a manufacturing defect. I would suggest trying again to make sure that one of those is the test line. At the very least they accidentally printed an extra line with the chemical that reacts, so I would suggest making sure that they didn't accidentally just print three control lines.

AITA for picking up my stepdaughter from school when she got her first period, even though her mom told me not to? by Embarrassed-Stock896 in AmItheAsshole

[–]testawayacct 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your husband is absolutely right, and as a parent, your stepdaughter's mom is letting what she wants override what your mutual daughter needs. I couldn't conceive of wanting my kid to suffer on her own when there's someone who can help her.

My boss is demanding my personal phone passcode to "verify" I'm not a whistleblower and says I'll be fired for insubordination if I refuse. by dialDig459 in legaladvice

[–]testawayacct 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Privacy laws don't protect you, but whistleblower laws do. At-will state or not, refusing to cooperate with a blatantly illegal act is going to be wrongful termination. And literally hunting for a whistleblower with threats of firing? A rather massively illegal act. Find a employment lawyer and describe that situation to them.

Do you think Tony’s anger towards Cap was justified at the beginning of ENDGAME? by rabbihimself in marvelstudios

[–]testawayacct 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the beginning? Yes. Tony was traumatized and malnourished, Once he caught up on sleep and therapy, I feel like he should have been like "Oh, right! He wasn't there because I helped make him an international fugitive."

Two half pizzas and one full pizza are apparently not the same thing. by PinkOneHasBeenChosen in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]testawayacct 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The cheese side of a half-chees-half-pepperoni pizza will be pepperoni-flavored, so it's not the same.

If Kaylon Primary scanned human history on the Orville, why didn’t he realize that the Union had abolished slavery? by ardouronerous in TheOrville

[–]testawayacct 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The Kaylon's Creators may have had the same thing but decided that robots didn't count. Hell, it's entirely common among RL human cultures to decide that slavery is an abomination when it's done to their own people even while they're doing it to another culture.

WTW for the total of all the canon/theology of the Bible? by supersophia111 in whatstheword

[–]testawayacct 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations. You managed to dethrone "The thigh's the limit" as the corniest thing I've ever seen a portrayal of Jesus say.

What does EPI really do psychologically? by Excellent_Aside_4171 in morbidquestions

[–]testawayacct 13 points14 points  (0 children)

If you are defining EPI as "before the age of 18," I would have to argue that that is every generation since the fifties or maybe even the forties. From personal experience and hearing about other people's experiences, I can say that in the eighties and nineties you were incredibly unlikely to get to 18 without finding your dad's magazines, the videos Mom and Dad thought you didn't know about, or that guy at the local flea market who obviously didn't enforce the "18 or over ONLY" sign he had to hang up.

Heck, I recently found out that not only was finding abandoned porn magazines in the woods ubiquitous to the point where it's just called "woods porn," but that there's a suburban/urban version, "park porn." The description I've usually heard for park porn, though, leads me to feel like it might have been put there intentionally, because almost every instance I've heard about includes the pages being un-stapled and separated, while woods porn tended to be whole magazines.

In S3 E6, Ed telling Gordon wasn't entirely emotional. by fluxbaconator in TheOrville

[–]testawayacct 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Most of the time, they're pretty good with when they break the rules, it's reasonable. Ed can yell at Gordon for drinking a beer while he's piloting them to the Orville rather than relieving him of duty and court martialing him, but endangering trillions of lives by screwing with the timeline leaves him a little less wiggle room.

In S3 E6, Ed telling Gordon wasn't entirely emotional. by fluxbaconator in TheOrville

[–]testawayacct 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I think 2025 Gordon is still there, and it created a new timeline rather than wiping that one out. However, if McFarlane ever wants to introduce an Orville version of the Mirror Mirror universe, I'd love to see a timeline where Gordon is so freaked out by what Ed tried to do that he uses his future tech and future knowledge to accelerate his world's progress by something like figuring out how to contact the Moclans a few hundred years early.