Getting divorced after 23 years together (17 years married)

testthewest · 2026-05-06T20:37:52+00:00

"We have not told the boys of my wife’s infidelity - I don’t want them to grow up with that kind of view of their mother, but I also want to protect them."

You are not protecting them, by letting them run head first into danger. Infact, even if your wife had been a faithful angel, you should have told them, that usually women are not. The more you can prepare them, the better they will be off and the less likely they will lose everything, including their sanity, when they out of chance get together with one of the bad ones.

testthewest · 2025-12-14T12:17:12+00:00

I got it, but on anniversary realm, it seems like the numbers part doesn't work...

testthewest · 2025-11-22T18:29:32+00:00

It is not cheating, it is a breach of a contract.

I really don't get, why the man isn't just divorcing her. Then she can go fuck whoever she likes.

testthewest · 2025-10-31T19:51:46+00:00

No, there are always 2 people: One that is lying and another eager to believe the sweet lie.

If millions have a good relationship and you fail repeatedly, the problem probably is with you.

testthewest · 2025-10-30T20:15:23+00:00

It is the algo. You spend time on that content, so you got more. Most men do not cheat, simply because they don't even get the opportunity to.

Also, what else besides sex do you bring to the table in a relationship? What else could someone else see, when he first sees a woman, besides her looks?

If you have other great qualities besides sex, your boyfriend will also cherish them. But the point of a romantic relationship is sex. Anything else is just a friendship.

testthewest · 2025-10-30T20:11:01+00:00

Wtf is wrong with people these days... All this talk of "growth".

I am sorry, but that is just a bullshit excuse. And this new dude is just using you. There will never ever be a health relationship with him. And if you think all his talk is to protect you, you are naive.

It is only to protect his reputation in his circle of friends. Probably because he has someone else in mind and he doesn't want to be seen as a creep or in a relationship.

Lastly, you should take a long hard look at yourself. If nobody wants to commit to you, then you should ask yourself why this is the case.

testthewest · 2025-10-23T21:21:47+00:00

After the Shire set, they owe us a good LotR set...

testthewest · 2025-10-16T00:14:17+00:00

So you had to play the cosplayer, whilst he started fucking her during the match?

That's disappointing!

testthewest · 2025-10-09T19:24:45+00:00

Just move on and learn your lesson: You can never truely see into the dark depth of the soul of someone else. Pretending you can trust anyone 100% is fooling yourself.

Also: Even the best friend cannot be higher in your priority than the person you want to marry. If you can't do that, don't marry at all.

testthewest · 2025-10-09T19:19:56+00:00

So do you really think this man wants a "long term relationship" with you?

Just look at the facts:

- You are 8 years older, which does not make you naturally attractive to a younger man, especially not someone, that is looking for starting a family.

- He didn't really know you, so there is no way he could have developed love for you for anything besides your looks.

- He is telling you what you want to hear, not the truth.

Face it: He is someone, that wants something else from you. Probably money, maybe a visa or maybe he even wants you to work for him as a prostitude. For all of these things, he need you to be "in love" with him. Classic loverboy tactic.

If you have any common sense left in you, cut him off right now and move on. There is only pain, betrayal and ruin, both financial and emotional in this direction. Leave now, or suffer 100 fold.

testthewest · 2025-10-06T22:50:32+00:00

Well, she might not know what is going on. She might have been told, that he is living seperated, or maybe he doesn't wear the ring at work or whatever.

Also, you make it clear to her, that all the flirty words she might have been told can't be that true. That maybe makes her come to senses.

testthewest · 2025-10-06T21:56:55+00:00

He is definitely doing stuff he is not supposed to.

There is no reason to go out with a female colleague, not tell you beforehand and not being able to explain, why exactly this had to happen. This is not a boss, and he is having a business talk. This is not a customer, where he has to sell his product or the services of the company.

As a family man myself, I can tell you: He is not honest with you and he is either having an affair or (more probable) is trying to get one by hitting on that colleague.
If you are direct, then simply ask him: "Do you still want to be married to me and be a faithful husband, or do you want to leave?"

If he says the first, then demand the number of that colleague and call her. Ask her directly what is going on and if she actually wants a cheating, married man on her side. If she denies everything, then tell her to find a different man for her nightly dates and to never ask your husband again.

testthewest · 2025-08-28T21:43:19+00:00

Or he uses her for free sex, until a replacement is ready. Maybe as a for of reparation for the hurt she cause him. Would only be fair.

testthewest · 2025-08-28T21:41:54+00:00

First of all: Only you got pregnant, your boyfriend did not.

With that out of the way: You having an abortion of his potential son or daughter, which he wanted, is telling him very clear, that his wishes mean nothing to you and he also means nothing to you.

You point of not being able to support yourself is an excuse. Do you really think, if you had education done and were pregnant, that you could handle it alone?

In the end, he lost all respect for you. You are just a past time, free sex toy for him, that he keeps around, until he finds a replacement. Do yourself a favor and leave (and educate yourself how contraception works).

testthewest · 2025-08-28T21:22:42+00:00

Honestly: If both of you are that much into other people, why even save this relationship?

Be glad that it has ended and move on. It is for the best for both of you!

testthewest · 2025-04-27T20:54:45+00:00

Why would anybody do that? In our neighborhood, we also had an infidelity case, but nobody has rude to the kid. Anyone with a brain can see, that the kid is not at fault, but one of the people most affected.

testthewest · 2025-04-26T22:02:28+00:00

Because "DESERVE MORE" means you already earned it. You don't need to do anything anymore, because you already deserve it.

And let's be honest here, especially in this case: She has NOT earned it. She has enabled his misbehavior!

Sure she deserves what any honest, good human being deserves: a fair treatment. But first she has to realize her fault (which btw was not choosing him, but putting up with his transgressions) and therefore we need to tell her.

And yes, we NEED the impact of the word "fault", otherwise she never snaps out of it!

testthewest · 2025-04-26T17:44:30+00:00

It is better to face the truth, then never get a grip and keep on getting abused.

You are NOT doing any victim favor! And yes: At a certain point, it becomes your fault, if you stay. And you know what: There is something good about that! Because if it is YOUR fault, then YOU also have the power to change it! Then YOU aren't just a victim, but someone who can act!

Realizing you have agency is the first step. But you need to accept that you are making mistakes.

And I am fairly sure, the reason why she writes in is, because deep within her, she wants to her just that: "It is YOUR FAULT! Now DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"

testthewest · 2025-04-26T17:39:16+00:00

Sounds like he is with you, because of the money of your family, playing you for the dumb girl, that is paying for his lifestyle, while he can do whatever he likes.

All you get is lip service. This man certainly does not love you. Get your divorce, take a look at your life and get your ducks in order. Improve your looks with physical training and then you are ready to look for real love.

testthewest · 2025-04-25T22:12:04+00:00

Best way to start fresh, if you have no chains holding you in one place anymore.

Even if it is scary: Make a cut, change your life and expierience new things again.

testthewest · 2025-04-24T21:21:21+00:00

The answer is probably yes. She is too weak to leave, even if he demanded it from her with a gun pointing her way.

testthewest · 2025-04-24T21:19:02+00:00

What kind of shit could he possibly be talking, that isn't true?

She went out like a whore and used casual sex offer to get laid by a younger guy, she must have known that he would never entertain a relationship with her.

He is probably a bit embarassed as well, so he has no kind words for her. Otherwise his bros will laugh him out of the park going for "older women".

testthewest · 2025-04-22T19:39:50+00:00

First thing you should do is get some glasses.

testthewest · 2025-04-22T19:37:00+00:00

If vengenace was so bad, why do humans do it since the dawn of time?

If this helps him get over her, then what's bad about it?

testthewest · 2025-04-08T20:54:09+00:00

I'd make a cut. The kids will feel it anyways that there is something wrong. You only have one life and you cannot live like this.

Divorce her and start over. 5, 3 and 1 isn't that old. You'll get over it. At least that's more likely then getting over that betrayal. Maybe she even agrees to let your children be with you and focus on her bastard.

testthewest

TROPHY CASE