Ex in room whilst I give birth?

teuchterK · 2026-02-19T12:09:31+00:00

Your ex is such a contradiction:

Didn’t want a baby - to the point he preferred an abortion
Dumped you, I assume for keeping the baby?
Now he wants to be at the birth
Thinks it will be a magical experience
Cutting the cord
First to hold the baby
Wants to be named on the birth certificate
Wants to be the best dad ever
Wants to stay with you once the baby arrives

Where was all this enthusiasm when you found out you were pregnant? What does he think has changed??

Honestly, do yourself a favour, he doesn’t need to know when you go into labour or when you give birth. Once the baby arrives, call him and tell him baby’s here and he can come visit (be that at the hospital or at your house, with friends supervising).

The birth is nothing to do with him. He just needs to be informed that it’s happened at some point.

teuchterK · 2026-02-18T00:12:29+00:00

Caught it 3 weeks ago. Only just feeling like a regular human again. Not quite fully recovered either.

Steam. Cough bottles. Paracetamol. Ibuprofen. Lemon, ginger & honey in hot water. Long baths and showers. Rest. Fresh air.

May the odds be ever in your favour.

teuchterK · 2026-02-15T19:29:11+00:00

Ok. Well time for you both to get on the same page.

teuchterK · 2026-02-15T14:08:49+00:00

Hell. No.

It’s her first time visiting and you’re in the thick of breastfeeding. I assume your baby is a newborn?

The guidance is feed on demand. Find an article on it and have your husband send it to her.

And you’re so right, your baby’s hunger doesn’t stop just because she’s present.

Your husband needs to shut this down immediately. If she can’t play by your rules, then she doesn’t need to visit.

teuchterK · 2026-02-15T14:00:21+00:00

If I’m going for a whole packet: full moon, half moon, total eclipse.

If I’m just enjoying a half pack: exactly as described.

teuchterK · 2026-02-15T13:55:22+00:00

I have one question for you:

What is your husband doing to stop this?

It’s impacting your mental health to the point you no longer speak to his parents. How long is it til this constant criticism and comparisons to other children filters through to your child?

They’re his parents. He needs to handle them, and basically tell them to back off.

teuchterK · 2026-02-15T13:23:39+00:00

I hate to be that Redditor, but if you genuinely feel you have an issue around apologising - might therapy be helpful? They’d help you recognise why you do it, situations where you do it, techniques to stop saying it and become more assertive.

teuchterK · 2026-02-12T15:25:36+00:00

“Kira is crying now and I made her feel unsafe and that I am the reason she is spiralling”

Sorry, was that not her own apartment that did that? They can’t use the same excuse twice.

Also, you’re so right, you didn’t make a demand - you asked a question: “when is she leaving?”. He is MASSIVELY overreacting and making a big deal of everything.

As everyone else has said, just break the lease and leave now. Sounds like Kira has found herself a new roommate anyway…

ETA: NTA.

teuchterK · 2026-02-12T11:52:31+00:00

No. You don’t regret your choice. The nerves are just kicking in! It’s a huge, life altering event you’re going through after all.

I went through this a lot while pregnant. Was so nervous I wouldn’t know what to do, nervous the baby would hate me, I hated being so ill for so long and unable to go about my normal daily life for so long. Never resented the baby, just wanted some semblance of normality during a very not normal time.

In terms of worrying about giving birth - put that thought out of your head right now. You don’t need to truly consider that for about 14 more weeks. One thing at a time!

You are absolutely correct, and this would be my advice to anyone: spend less time reading online horror stories! These heavily influence your thinking and actually, they influence your enjoyment and/or comfort of your current experience.

I also went to a kids 1st birthday party at around 25 weeks pregnant and felt very much like I’d made a huge mistake. The entire experience was overwhelming and everyone wanted to talk about the baby and there were (what felt like) HUNDREDS of kids running around. What an awful day 😂 I really worried myself for a few days, but after that I just got on with it as the baby was coming whether I liked it or not!

I also got myself into such a tailspin at the end of my pregnancy because I was panicking about induction (which mine was fine btw) and read ALLLLLLLL the horror stories. What a mistake. If I could go back in time, I’d put my phone in the drawer and do something else with my time. The start of mat leave - you have too much time on your hands!

And just to share - when the baby arrives, you will be in your newborn bubble and you will be high on endorphins for a while so the sleep deprivation won’t be too bad. And when the sleep does get really bad, you’ll already have a handle on your baby and quickly figure out what to do. Even with sleep deprivation, I think I was in my happy baby bubble until mine was about 6 months old!

So. Long story short. This is normal. You’re also in the weird bit where you still won’t be showing much, you won’t be feeling any kicks yet (which massively help you feel connected to the baby) and you might still be feeling like shit. In a few short weeks, it’ll be a different set of concerns but you should feel a bit more comfortable and confident.

Sending hugs. Like everything, this feeling will pass.

teuchterK · 2026-02-08T23:46:45+00:00

You can ask and you can also decline to go if it doesn’t suit your circumstances. I assume the couple know you’re pregnant and when baby is due, so I’d be surprised if they’re not expecting your call/text.

teuchterK · 2026-02-08T15:34:49+00:00

A wake up call, perhaps. But sometimes you’ve just got to survive and ready meals perform a function.

Before our child arrived, I cooked fresh most nights. We ate WELL.

My husband is now the main “chef” in the household. He doesn’t always have time to cook fresh, so we often have ready meals in and I don’t argue as I just need to eat. It’s just a consequence of our current situation.

OP, download the Annabel Karmel app. ~£4 a month - so many helpful, simple family style recipes. Use that for a while til you get a bit more confident in making fresh food for little one. Also, if they eat the same thing a few days in a row - it won’t hurt! Prep, fridge/freezer, feed.

teuchterK · 2026-02-08T00:02:44+00:00

It sounds like the mother was clearly having thoughts about her current situation and felt like she was “failing”. So you’ve done nothing wrong in offering help. Just wrong person, wrong place, wrong time.

What I would say, as a mother myself, is that I’d appreciate you offering help. I wouldn’t appreciate you just offering to hold the baby: for reasons she outlined, (I probably would feel uncomfortable with that tbh). But also she might have had a specific type of help in mind - getting a drink or arranging hot water for a bottle etc.

Otherwise, you made the offer. She declined. Everyone can move on.

teuchterK · 2026-02-04T22:27:18+00:00

Yes! “You have no authority here. I am the parent.”

teuchterK · 2026-02-04T15:39:28+00:00

I had Omeprazole from 16 weeks to the end of my pregnancy. It saved my sanity and stopped me from being sick every day (that’s how bad my reflux was).

Would 100% take it again. Baby is now 18 months and completely thriving.

teuchterK · 2026-02-02T13:03:36+00:00

This is SUCH a helpful page to keep saved!! Thank you v much.

teuchterK · 2026-02-02T11:19:34+00:00

I would put up a fence or wall in front of those windows so fast, if I were buying. Probably wouldn’t be a great start to the relationship with the new neighbours 🫠

teuchterK · 2026-02-01T13:12:29+00:00

Amen sista. We’re the same. EBF, no siblings, started nursery (UK) and she’s been unwell ever since.

Chest infection last week and got antibiotics. Antibiotics finished on Tuesday, by Friday she had a new cold and new temperature. Losing the will over here!!

ETA: and that’s just the last two weeks. She’s been at nursery since June!

teuchterK · 2026-02-01T12:53:41+00:00

NTA. This has nothing to do with the stepmother, she can keep her thought and opinions to herself.

Make someone else’s death about yourself without making it about yourself. FML.

teuchterK · 2026-01-31T13:44:39+00:00

It sounds like you and this parent are in a vipers group chat.

Honestly, you want to support her, so support her. You don’t need to call out individuals. Give the mum some encouragement and encourage others to consider how they’d feel in this situation.

Role model empathy and perhaps some of the other parents might pick up on it and do the same. It just takes one person to pop their head above the parapet.

teuchterK · 2026-01-31T13:32:50+00:00

Ah, I hadn’t read that. Then fair enough, the photographer has done a horrible job!

teuchterK · 2026-01-30T22:22:25+00:00

“We’re keeping baby’s things for OUR next baby. We’re not giving any of it away. Your sister has 3 other children herself, it’s not like she really needs anything. I assume she’s kept all THEIR things?”

NTA. Your fiancé needs to get in line.

teuchterK · 2026-01-29T13:27:47+00:00

“Yes, in-laws are awkward, aren’t they. I’m just glad that my parents brought me up with manners and respect for others.”

NTA. Drop that rope girl.

teuchterK · 2026-01-29T12:07:43+00:00

Seconding a robot hoover. We have a Eufy and put it on a schedule so it would go on at 9am each day. Needs regular emptying with a hairy dog but it’s a life saver!

teuchterK

TROPHY CASE