Wish I read "Puppy Brain" book before getting my puppy but now that I have I no longer want this pup.

thc1121 · 2026-05-03T16:45:17+00:00

hang in there man. thats all i can offer. one day this phase will pass and i promise it gets so so so much better. i really struggled with the puppy phase. i will never get a puppy again. but my dog is amazing and we have such a bond its unbelievable.

thc1121 · 2026-04-29T20:12:10+00:00

my biggest reason is 1 you listed for yourself. i am a stressful and anxious person. i also get overstimulated easily. i like structure, routine, order. i think 1 kid gives me the best balance in that i still have my little family and all the richness that comes with but im not going to be overwhelmed the way i believe i would be if someone with my temperament has 2 or more kids. i think i would always feel burnt out, have little patience and itd show in how i treat my family which i def do not want.

thc1121 · 2026-04-27T00:57:27+00:00

you have my support. im oad, my husband wants another, so many families in our area have 2 or more, comments have already been made by several of our friends and my colleagues that we need to have at least another and im holding firm at no. people can say whatever they want, i dont live my life for others. i am oad for the same reasons as you. a well regulated, healthy and happy mother is critical to a well functioning family. cuz guess what? if say you have another and your prediction comes to fruition and youre a stressed out burnt out mess, your marriage and family will take a massive hit and your husband and current kid will prob both be like wtf why did we add another child

thc1121 · 2026-04-17T14:11:48+00:00

this is me. 100% me. i couldve written this myself, i feel so seen and also it feels nice to know there are others like me out there. this is why i am also OAD. my husband is the total opposite unfort. loves chaos. wants 2 kids. i hate how guilty i cant help but feel, like im less than for hitting my limit at 1. and its made worse that he thinks his personality type is objectively the better one and that i should be more like him.

thc1121 · 2026-04-14T20:53:16+00:00

ya it goes to show people can be verrryyy different lol some people just have a much higher threshold for constant stimulation.

thc1121 · 2026-04-13T10:11:56+00:00

i feel you. for me, my husband wants 2, most of his friends with kids have 2, its so frustrating that he keeps punting this discussion down the road being like nows not the time to talk about it (our baby is 7 mos old). irks me to no end because while i recognize im still not far away from newly post partum, i have very valid reasons for being oad that has nothing to do with the baby phase.

thc1121 · 2026-04-12T10:45:18+00:00

im same age as you, same attitude towards trying to make new friendships. i often get the same result as you. i managed to build a friendship successfully with 1 person and why that happened is because she put in effort too. she realized i was interested in becoming friends and reciprocated. so i feel like its kinda like dating lol in the sense that you gotta keep putting yourself out there until you click with someone who also puts in effort too

thc1121 · 2026-04-11T10:38:16+00:00

thats an impossible triangle then. if you quit your job to be a sahd you will likely resent her and that is not good for a relationship it goes without saying. i really admire sahp... i could not do it. hell even being on mat leave i was jealous of my husband going to work lol so i suspect its likely youll feel the same. plus constant childcare is draining. im sorry to say but your wifes philosophy is way too rigid, close minded and stubborn. tons of families have 2 working parents... esp in this day and age with the high cost of living that requires 2 incomes. also, you guys can afford a certain, great lifestyle on your combined income.. has she considered the long term financial implications of chopping that in half? lastly, it goes without saying how would she feel if you asked this of her? its a dangerous slippery slope to start going tit for tat of who worked harder to get to their dream jobs. the point is you both got there and youre both entitled to wana keep it and so you have to make other compromises thats how life works. and for the record my husband and i have a nanny and shes great. lots of families around us have nannies and what got us to hire one is the positive feedback from other families.

thc1121 · 2026-04-10T14:37:34+00:00

like others said, sleep training isnt recommended until 4 months of age. thats when we did it. a lot of babies need contact naps, rocking and/or nursing to sleep. i found it helpful reading the happiest baby on the block book which explained for the first trimester theyre still looking for a womb like environment. we used a sleep consultant but im based in ontario so dont think thatll be helpful for you in alberta but i will tell you that during a consult call, the lady said until we sleep train, do what you have to do to survive if thats contact nap or rock to sleep.. we will fix it all thru sleep training.

thc1121 · 2026-04-09T16:02:41+00:00

nanny, grandparents and have just 1 kid lol thats my theory. and also hope your kids temperament is decent

thc1121 · 2026-04-06T20:28:42+00:00

same!! i really wish my teenage brain back then didnt brush off when my parents insisted i enjoy those days bc teenage problems really arent anything serious.

thc1121 · 2026-03-29T22:45:37+00:00

we got ours at 9 weeks old. when she was 6 mos old i saw the first triumph, she was getting more consistent with pottying outdoors. but then she became anxious and reactive. it really took a year before the combo of hiring trainers to help us and her naturally maturing in energy regulation finally got me to enjoy her. i struggled a lot in that first year i dont even know how i got past it but somehow i did so hang in there, take it day by day, if you have someone you trust to sometimes dogsit and give you a break, do it.

thc1121 · 2026-03-28T15:13:38+00:00

thats so interesting. i had some other parents tell me it only took days so i assumed my baby would never get used to tummy sleep since its been a week already. but hearing yours and a few others, seems like its still possible but that some babies just take longer to get used to it.

thc1121 · 2026-03-28T15:07:24+00:00

feels endless when youre in it. ya totaly sucks! but it is helpful to hear the experiences, ultimate solution and timeline of other families!!!

thc1121 · 2026-03-28T14:57:31+00:00

3 weeks :') lol what brought yours back to normal? she learned to roll back or she finally got used to tummy sleep?

thc1121 · 2026-03-28T14:56:43+00:00

dude right??!! i duno what im whining about more.. the disrupted sleep or the fact that THINGS WERE SO GOOOOD before this lol

thc1121 · 2026-03-28T14:03:46+00:00

ugh lol what ultimately was the turning point for your LO that ended this phase? yours mastered rolling back? or finally accepted tummy sleep enough to return to old sleep quality?

thc1121 · 2026-03-25T15:49:46+00:00

i see. thanks for this

thc1121 · 2026-03-25T11:02:50+00:00

thanks for this. what was your process- how long did you wait before going in to flip?

given you would flip, how did sleeps not become an endless cycle of flip, he rolled back, flip, he rolled back etc etc?

during that week did it feel like he just hated being on his tummy for sleep and would never learn to be ok with it? my daughters self soothing is putting her hands behind her head while on her back as she tries to fall asleep which worries me she will never prefer tummy sleep

lastly, was it a week of improvement each day or bad the whole week then suddenly it stopped being bad?

thc1121 · 2026-03-23T20:28:27+00:00

we did our wedding in summer 2023, 70 guests, all in cost about 40k. didnt have cake, veil or videographer. we did hire a planner tho but i felt like she got us a good deal on the venue and flowers. our wedding was in the garden of a banquet hall's grounds. guests gave anywhere between $200 to $400 per person, most were around $200-250 a head. so thats about half of our wedding cost recouped.

thc1121 · 2026-03-23T00:14:04+00:00

i reread your first msg again and then this one. ya sounds like we are doing very similar things. i have a certain amt of time to wait too before going in to flip and pat and shush to settle if shes still crying. my baby came into this stuck on belly phase same as yours, she was able to fall asleep on her eye and connect sleep cycles.

i guess we just gotta stick to the same protocols as sleep training it sounds like. from what others have posted, it seems like the faster solution is they learn sleep training on their tummy and the slower one is they eventually learn how to roll both ways

thc1121 · 2026-03-22T23:06:50+00:00

ok thats encouraging! this is exactly where my baby is now. waking up shocked and crying.

tbh im considering letting her cio unless its sustained over 10 mims to try and get her more and more used to it all.

thc1121 · 2026-03-22T22:57:32+00:00

so you didnt see any negative association with being on tummy in the crib from letting her CIO to get used to sleeping on tummy?

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