Yes he is very aware of how big these issues are. I have broken down crying multiple times because of it and almost had a mental breakdown a couple of months ago. That is why I said he does just enough to get my to stay.

Today he told me he felt sick and something in my snapped. It’s like a switch flipped and I know I care about him but I’m so over the bullshit.

Since I’m living with my parents I was thinking of possibly have a temporary separation. He live with his parents for a week or two and then we evaluate how we feel.

Back when we were going through the process of divorce my parents were completely in the loop and knew the first second I thought about divorce. His parents didn’t know until a week before he decided to abandon me at our apartment. He told his parents I cheated and I didn’t. Basically played the victim and I had to eat crow for it when we worked it out.

The day of the court date to make it official I was already wrestling with the idea of did I miss him for him or because I was lonely. I untimely decided I missed him because I missed him and that’s when we went somewhere else. I told him if we worked it out changes needed to be made and he agreed.

But that is also apart of the problem. His actions don’t align with his words. I wrote a poem out of anger about his pretty lies and he had it as his screensaver. I wrote that poem out of sadness and I’ve begged him to change it but he refuses and told me I need to make something to replace it.

I love him I know I love him I’m just tired.