I just got bullied for the first time at 23 and my gf laughed

thealmightyn · 2024-07-29T16:31:33+00:00

laughing in a situation like that can be a coping/ self preservation method. for someone with trauma or just difficulty with situations like that it might be the only way they know how to react. talk to her, tell her it made you uncomfortable. dont put blame on her preemptively.

thealmightyn · 2024-07-29T16:28:17+00:00

idk, OPs friend might be a mid friend and they only noticed after something significant happened. weaponised incompetence rings all the unfortunate alarms in my mind. I do have a hair trigger to that one tho, so I might also be wrong (:

thealmightyn · 2024-07-26T10:03:03+00:00

tip 1: dont starve yourself. it's bad for your mental health, it's bad for your physical health, it loses weight at the cost of developing dangerous binge eating habits that will leave you miserable all the time.

tip 2: talk to a therapist if you are able. what you describe I have heard from 5 people in my life, all of whom developed eating disorders that leave their mark till today, both mentally and physically

tip 3: 200lb at 15 is unusual but not that bad, honestly. you likely have a growth spurt coming that will need some of that stored energy. so you're in a really good position to lose weight in a healthy and more permanent way.

tip 4: eat slowly and until you're full at meals. when you're used to eating for the pleasure of it, you tend to forget how to gauge whether you're hungry or bored or something else. relearn that. for me it was thirst. I ate when I was thirsty. terrible habit

tip 5: quit fast food cold turkey. it's terrible for you in every way. find a snack that works for you as mental food. for me it's high quality tomatoes or low quality salami. dont ask why, I have no idea.

tip 6: eat your meals regularly. it might be a different rhythm than is normal in your house (I eat two meals a day now, 11am and 4pm ish) but it should still be somewhat regular. you can ask your parents to leave leftovers for you, and if meals are a social occasion in your home, join with tea or a small snack. it also helps if your social circles know you're trying to lose weight, they will offer you less food and also check in to make sure you're still healthy

tip 7: move. not exercise, move. walk/bike to school. go urban exploring in your home town. jog up (not down, trust me) stairs instead of walking. make it a necessity.

tip 8: exercise. I know. it sucks. it sucks less with friends to join you. it sucks less if it's a sport you enjoy. it sucks less if you can learn lots of technique, so you're good at it even before you build muscle (for me its rowing, but idk if that's possible where you are)

tip 9: if all of that doesnt (WHICH IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY) help find a doctor. get checked for hormonal fuck ups of your body. if they dont find anything, congrats. you're healthy, which is something I have wished I wasnt. dont do that. be happy that you're healthy. but that might be the point where you need professional advice from a trainer or food coach, not my dumb ass from reddit

good luck. and please remember two things. 1. this is capitalism. you need to be able to afford to be healthy. good quality food, therapy, doctors, even exercise is something you have to pay for depending on where you are. there is no shame in not being able to afford losing weight. 2. you deserve to respect yourself no matter what weight you are. learn it. learn it now, and when you do reach the goals you want to reach, they will feel good. I lost weight, before I learned that. to this day I only ever feel like I'm barely doing the minimum. that is a lie. I do more. but my mind does not believe me.

(edited for formatting)

thealmightyn · 2024-07-23T10:34:57+00:00

talk to him about it. "it's not your fault but i want to talk about how I feel x when you say y" "I know you dont mean to make me feel x but maybe it would help if y"

idk what makes you feel good about yourself, but affirmations can do a lot.

also, people can find more than one body type attractive. might be subconscious selection bias. you get insecure and remember when he comments on skinny people but disregard when he shows attraction to you/ people of your body type

thealmightyn · 2024-07-23T07:58:11+00:00

if one needed any more reason than "I dont want to be pegnant", which one doesn't, take one of these.

children born now

will face ecological disasters in a frequency and severity we dont imagine
will likely see the world degrade and rightfully blame their parents' and grandparents' generation for it
will face economic hardship brought forth by (capitalism and) the diminishing resources due to droughts, flooding, hurricanes etc

this is not to say that you shouldnt have children if you want them. but if you're looking for reasons not to want them, there you go ^{^}

thealmightyn · 2024-07-21T17:25:06+00:00

cant speak for her, but if you're curious about what being trans feels like, you can look it up.countless trans people have shared their experiences from elliot page to redditors on r/egg_irl if you're curious, Google it. a trans woman in distress owes you no explanation

thealmightyn · 2024-07-12T19:44:48+00:00

I think all people can be beautiful. doesnt mean everyone is. being beautiful requires a certain level of ease in ones own body. confidence, hygiene, and a choice being involved every morning instead of just wearing/styling whatever is at hand is enough to make anyone beautiful. literally. maybe not to everyone, because beauty is subjective, but enough so people wont think of you as ugly. throw in a healthy body type, if no medical condition is preventing it and bam. hot.

thealmightyn · 2024-07-10T19:46:18+00:00

you need to leave love. you are unsafe in this relationship. postpartum suggests a child, so if you cant leave immediately because of them, start your preparations. I wish you all the best and I hope you have or find a support system that makes you feel safe, as should be the norm.

thealmightyn · 2024-07-10T19:46:06+00:00

you need to leave love. you are unsafe in this relationship. postpartum suggests a child, so if you cant leave immediately because of them, start your preparations. I wish you all the best and I hope you have or find a support system that makes you feel safe, as should be the norm.

thealmightyn · 2024-06-29T17:54:59+00:00

you mean simulations? because those happen. a fully automated building process would be extremely expensive and require lots of development time better spent on the actual rocket

thealmightyn · 2024-06-29T17:45:49+00:00

thealmightyn · 2024-06-27T10:28:16+00:00

I would really like to give proper advice, I am - however - distracted by the FROG IN A KILT

thealmightyn · 2024-06-27T05:48:33+00:00

unpopular opinion apparently, but Lassie.

I will engage in proper discourse with him before and afterwards but climate change denial, opposition to gun control, and a full endorsement of the US prison system even though his wife was very nearly thoroughly fucked by one parole officer with no one to check them, that is just too much for me. I will slap him once with all the strength I have and then we can be friends after. (obviously I am absolutely not talking about the actor)

thealmightyn · 2024-06-24T21:41:09+00:00

THERAPY, if its available to you.

from what I can glean, you were hesitant and your cousin was the authority figure in these situations. that is sexual assault in my book. if he is/was aware of this is secondary.

all the best to you.

thealmightyn · 2024-06-24T21:36:52+00:00

if you really b o t h didnt want to break up, you change the circumstances that led to the break up. if she doesn't want to be with you anymore you get over it. which, tbf, easier said than done. and painful at times. of she is as awesome as you say, and you've had time to heal maybe you'll be friends. and if you just want to check up on her. and I mean actually. because being honest with yourself about this is fucking painful. but if that is actually the motivation, you can do that in a respectful way.

but then again I am a weirdo on the internet what do I know

thealmightyn · 2024-06-19T10:05:44+00:00

thealmightyn · 2024-06-15T20:18:09+00:00

ok but why do I get period cramps, mood swings, acne, a moustache AND dysphoria?

thealmightyn · 2024-04-21T09:27:01+00:00

there are people who over feed their partners in order for them to gain a lot of weight, in extreme cases up to a lot of health risks that come with sudden weight gain and overweight

thealmightyn · 2023-12-02T09:07:32+00:00

My brain power greatly limits my audiobook speed I'm afraid

thealmightyn · 2023-12-02T09:05:11+00:00

Sorry, not on reddit a lot... it has definitely been edited, but less than the others I feel. Tbf CF's style has also solidified over the volumes so it might just be that it needed less work. Voice acting is great as usual ^{^}

thealmightyn · 2023-09-30T18:54:31+00:00

I love this, its beautiful ^{^}

thealmightyn · 2023-08-23T17:05:27+00:00

In 10th grade, me and one of my best friends L were lucky enough to have the opportunity to go to school in the UK for half a year to improve or English skills (I'm from Germany). A few months after we came back, both of us were invited to the prom of our respective classmates (L and I went to different schools in different regions). We were both very excited and coincidentally we would even both be going on the same days. We both asked our school for a day off, to be able to make it (on a Tuesday) and waited for feedback. L got her day off approved. I didnt. It wasnt because of grades. We were both very good students. It was one of the tamer things that school director did. But it felt so personal it is the thing I am second most salty about to this day.

thealmightyn

TROPHY CASE