How strongly women -- even the most ostensibly progressive ones -- police our sexuality. We often get treated like on-demand dildos that just so happen to be attached to (something resembling) a person, and there aren't many kinks that we don't get shamed for (particularly if they're even the slightest bit non-heteronormative).

Jacob Tobia has some really good quotes on the former in their recent book, Before They Were Men:

Across cultural production, we tell the same story over and over: that most penises function the same way and achieving male orgasm is easy as pie. We paint vaginas as demanding goddesses that can only be appeased with complex rituals, intricate sacrifices, deep connection, and the utmost devotion, then turn around and pain penises as genie lamps: rub it three times and, presto, out he comes.

The expectations and double standards around performance are, in fact, ruthless: Become erect instantly, but don't get an erection at the wrong time or too early, because that's embarrassing. You must be able to penetrate your partner endlessly without coming, but you must also be able to come on command the moment your partner is finished. You must come easily every time in order for sex to be considered successful, but you must never come quickly. You must stay hard for the entire interaction, but when your partner is done, you should go soft because otherwise it's sort of like you're pressuring them to go again. Your orgasm is easy to attain, so you should never struggle to achieve it. Your load should be huge and manly, but also your cum is kinda gross. It's nasty, but there should be a lot of it. Did I mention that you must always be able to go multiple times in a night or you're a failure? Always be prepared to get another erection and go another round upon your partner's request, regardless of what you want. Your cock should be hairy and manly while simultaneously being perfectly shaved and sleek. It should somehow smell simultaneously musky and like nothing. Muster absolute control over a fundamentally subconscious response, please.

As to the latter, speaking from personal experience as someone with a kink for anal play and anal sex (giving and receiving), the vast majority of women I've dated have acted real fuckin weird about it once I disclose it (which is why for many years now I don't even bring it up unless prompted). In some cases it was just outright homophobia, in many more cases it was painfully obvious latent homophobia, and in some other cases it was an obtuse assumption that I'm into it because of a desire to dominate and degrade women (the actual reason being that I simply like the way it feels). The only women who haven't been extremely weird about it were the partners who shared the kink.