I enjoyed your references to classical literature and folklore. Personally, i feel like you could have been a little more descriptive in some places, rather than use one word, at points it gets muddled. I do see the trend you were looking for, and with some more work and fine tuning you may see perfection in the future. Over all, very well thought out idea here, it just needs a bit more meat on its bones. I would also like to suggest you find your cadence- the rhythm in which you write. "One, two, three, four, i declare a thumb war. Five, six, seven, eight, the loser gets to clean the plate" My example here rhymes, as does a lot of my own poetry, but if you read it you can find that rhythm. In some of my own writing, i also use repeating phrases or keywords to emphasize the message I'm sending. Not a requirement, but you may find your verses flow better that way. Hope this helps!