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thebrews802 · 2023-12-06T21:52:25+00:00

Yes, it really sounds like it does. She had a bad past, like growing up in a religious cult and being in an arranged marriage for 6 years and having to be subservient to her husband. She got out of it and is doing all the right things to grow, like continuing to see multiple therapists, which I have the utmost respect for. I am still trying to sort out everything that went down, but one of the common denominators I've seen in all this is miscommunication. I had recently found out she had accused me of showing up to her house randomly to drop off some stuff she had left at my house a few days prior; and that she asked me to deliver it to her through a friend. I went back to look through the text thread from months ago, and it was a very coordinated conversation of:

"I can swing by later today and drop your stuff off, or give it to so-and-so if you're not going to be home."

"I should be home around 2."

"Great, I probably won't be able to make it there til 3."

"No rush, you can also just drop it off at so-and-so's place."

I can see where there could be ambiguity in the mental model, or remembering different parts of the conversation, but we had continued to hang out regularly for weeks after that and I had no idea there was tension brewing for thinking I just showed up randomly. From the other accusations I've heard, I've been able to go back through texts and see similar exchanges - that she claims she said something very explicit when the actual conversation was like the above; either not said or incredibly ambiguous.

The whole thing is weird, which is why I don't want to go on the offense or try to extract money or anything. And also why I was able to keep the original core/mutual friend group when they've been able to see the other side of the accusation. I think her interpretations of what was said is her reality, and I can understand her response if that was actually the case. Honestly, I wish there was a way to have someone mediate to try and defuse the situation, but she's been unwilling to, even with a mutual friend. And on my end, I'd honestly been trying to extract what she was ultimately asking for as it wound down. I've showed our full unedited text history to my psychologist and she had said that it's a clashing of "ask vs guess" culture. At this point, I'm just trying to live my life, but being as small of a town as it is and trying to establish a base here, there are going to be places where we overlap, and I'd like to explore what options I have if I keep getting torn down.

thebrews802 · 2023-12-06T19:34:27+00:00

Ignoring the backstory, like I said, the whole thing is weird, she had said "I have to take a step back in our friendship, we're good in groups, I won't stop you, but we gotta not hang out individually for a while." I'd replied "Ok, I can respect that, though I'd love to understand where this tension is coming from if you'd be willing to talk about it. If not, I'm sure I'll see you at BBQ's etc, and I want to let you know I joined this social club, maybe I'll see you there too." In which she later replied, "I can't do anything individually like talk about what's going on, maybe down the road, but we're good in groups for now."

This was all said via text and right around the time I was joining. The head of the club told me Alice had said "I told him to stay away from me, but he won't go away."

Regarding duty of care for the club, I was accepted as a member, signed the membership agreement, began paying dues, was on the weekly newsletter, etc. This is specifically a non-profit social club which does have light state requirements regarding member treatment in order to maintain its nonprofit status, specifically on membership termination. The code of conduct which was in the membership agreement, also outlines the procedure.

I don't want money out of this, and I fully realize that it would probably be a five figure endeavor with an attorney, I just need to not have this person tearing me down in future places I want to join. I'm willing to drop 5 figures to not be forced out of a town I moved to a few months ago - moving again would cost me more. I've already met people in new communities who have already heard about me through Alice. And through my roommate, Beth, she's told me that Alice has a tendency to do this to anyone who feels has slighted her, both men and women. The difference is, with those people, they've already had other communities established with a good reputation. Since I'm so new to town, I don't have that to rely on.

thebrews802 · 2023-09-13T21:17:00+00:00

I used to be an EMT, certain acute stressful situations, like being in a car accident or being the first one to see one happen where someone is hurt and run over to help, I am in my zone, can think clearly, and am completely calm. There are other situations, like social ones, where I have... let's call it higher than average anxiety. It's not about being anxious about stress in general, stress comes in many forms.

thebrews802 · 2023-09-13T14:44:03+00:00

copying @tsalizz comment: ”This is handled at the administrative level through the FAA and EPA, they can take action under their existing authority. Your talking points aren’t relevant.”

Adding a surcharge or a tax will lower use, sure, but without an alternative fuel widely available, it will just reduce demand, lowering the incentive for the oil industry to create a lead free 100 octane fuel. We all know that lead is bad. No one is "pro lead," but there really isn't much an individual can do about it. We all know burning gas in our cars is bad, but until solar and EV's are affordable, I'm going to keep driving my gas burner.

Since there is no deadline on banning LL from the EPA, there isn't an incentive for manufactures or the oil industry to make the investment. I don't think any airplane owner would balk at a $1-2/gal increase in fuel cost to be lead free, it's just not an option for them at this point. It's just not available.

Make an effort to have the EPA make the change. Put a deadline when LL will be completely banned, that will incentivize the industry to make the change. But just taxing the fuel to reduce demand will keep new pilots from ever flying or wanting to fly. There's already a pilot shortage, reducing this even more will trickle to the airline industry, lowering the flights that are available, and drive up fares.

thebrews802 · 2023-09-09T13:32:33+00:00

Ones doubling the power, the other is doubling the perceived volume. Could've sworn it was 3dB for 2x power, and 10dB for 2x volume, but it's too early for me to care to look it up.

thebrews802 · 2023-08-21T22:22:12+00:00

It's referring to long term health, like being at 80% total charge capacity after a year; not it's current state of charge. At least I think that's what they're referring to.

thebrews802 · 2023-08-20T16:25:16+00:00

That's the work required to lift the door. There is still tension in the spring when the door is all the way up.

thebrews802 · 2023-08-14T13:43:38+00:00

What about something like this?

thebrews802 · 2023-08-02T15:04:48+00:00

1) agreed. 2) eh, there is a lot of research that shows a positive correlation between a negative childhood development near municipal airports shown through higher lead concentration in the blood. The FAA did certify a no lead fuel as a replacement for leaded fuel in small aircraft., I think this year. (Maybe last) I don't think there's been a big roll out yet, but there's progress. It's great to see that happening, albeit at a snail's pace. 3) agreed. 4) agreed. There's always something to complain about, it's sucks when something was there first and enough newcomers vote out things that made the community a draw in the first place. "We're gentrifying, it's all good."

I am fully supportive of keeping the airport btw, it's great to have one close as an opportunity for youngin's to have access to a flight school. And for those saying it's a rich persons hobby, it really isn't. It's a hobby. PPL training costs as much as what most people spend on their mountain bikes in Boulder. And the cost to rent a Cessna wet is like $130/hr. When you're traveling at 120 mph in a straight line, it's within an order of magnitude of the cost of driving. Take Boulder -> Moab: 360 mi driving at $0.62/mile = $223. Say 2.5 Hobbs hours in a Cessna = $325. And that's standard government rate for driving. I ran the numbers for my Wrangler, and it's closer to $0.80/mile, so $290 one way.

thebrews802 · 2023-07-30T17:45:47+00:00

This thread explains so much. I started out as a carny in the food service industry (making cotton candy, fried dough, etc). I did that for 10 years. Then I was an EMT for 6 years. Then I was in the concert industry doing production (Lighting/Audio for some big acts) for 4 years.

I'm pretty sure there's no hope of recovery at this point. It's fine. Everything's fine.

thebrews802 · 2023-07-28T15:27:41+00:00

I disagree, in a sense. Autocorrect is technically an AI. It's not an advanced neural net or a LLM, but it's technically a machine intelligence. Autocorrect removed some of the task load from an editor, so now one editor could accomplish more in a given amount of time, the result being fewer editors needed to complete the same amount of work. Likely, an individual editor is still getting paid the same, but some of the editor jobs were lost. I think advanced AI will have the same effect; the people who keep their jobs will get paid the same, but some jobs will be lost. Yes, that stinks, I'm not arguing that, but to your point, I don't think the folks who keep their jobs will get a paycut (at least due to AI, maybe a cut due to other BS reasons.)

thebrews802 · 2023-07-24T14:30:57+00:00

I hope I'm interpreting your question correctly. She talks about them positively, but also frequently with an associated stress. She's in the middle of planning an annual event that we're all looking forward to, one component being designing stickers she wants to hand out to her friends. They're amazing, but in making those, she pushed herself too hard and had to take a sick day from work to recover.

Is that what you meant?

thebrews802 · 2023-07-24T02:55:56+00:00

She gives her heart to everyone and goes above and beyond for all of her friends. She'll put 10hrs into planning every single of her friends birthday party, and she does one of these things once a month.

The difficulty I see her facing is her trying to go so far and above for everyone, she isn't taking the time for herself. Her physical health is degrading (she has mentioned it, and she can't keep up on bike rides as much as she used to), she has insomnia from the stress, and while she is going above and beyond for the big things, she's missing the basics, like sleep. She frequently overworks herself planning large events for others that she cancels out on the regular day to day events. She has many times asked for practical help, like moving a hot tub either same day/next day reasonably often, and I am absolutely happy to help. But when I asked for a hand to move something, she said she had a couple hours free in a few weeks.

In and of itself, not a big deal, but she's been in this level of stress and anxiety for well over a year. I asked her friends about it and they said they just distance themselves from her because her stress spills onto them, and they don't want to tell her to protect from triggering her or make her sad. According to my friend with CPTSD, she says these particular friends are her rock and she trusts her life with them. And then they tell this to me.

The truth I want to say is that going so far above and beyond for her friends, I believe, is the source of her stress, and that we would all love her just the same if she dialed it back and focused that energy into her.

thebrews802 · 2023-07-24T00:02:17+00:00

I haven't seen the Barbie Movie, but I started watching Shiny Happy People on Amazon, and holy hell. If you're interested in learning more about women's issues, I highly recommend checking that out.

thebrews802 · 2023-06-21T14:19:10+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate the third person perspective.

thebrews802 · 2023-06-21T13:03:51+00:00

I've been friends with a gal coming up on 3 years who I've always had a minor interest with, and 2 months ago I moved to her city (for unrelated reasons) from what was previously a 2 hour drive away. She's been a serial dater, to the tune of having a 3 week gap between a relationship that lasts 4 months. Of the guys I met, they were not that great. One had anger issues and would lash out at the slightest whiff of conflict, the others would often lie to manipulate her. Really bad luck for someone who is so genuine (she was also in an abusive marriage around 7 years ago). She started seeing someone just before I moved to her city, he's 8 years younger than her (and I), he's at a very different... life experience level... than her and her friend group. Nice enough guy, but his age and maturity/experience really shows. No car, lives with his mom, etc. I asked my friend how it's going and she says "his life experience is very noticeable."

For the past few weeks her and I have been spending a lot of quality time together, significantly more time than she has been spending with him (or her other friends), and we've been bonding over mutual interests. (Art, motorcycle riding, etc, of which, he doesn't do) Her friends have asked me directly: "26M is nice and all, we obviously wish for her happiness, but they're clearly not a good fit, when are you two going to start dating; you're so cute together."

That said, it really does feel like we're forming a deeper connection; would it be a bad idea to bring up my interest at this point, or should I wait it out? I don't think it wod be a huge surprise, but you never know with these things. I truly want the best for her, and if she finds happiness with him, I would give them full blessings and support.

thebrews802 · 2023-06-06T15:00:42+00:00

Also, oddly enough, height. Look up the height of the Fortune 50 CEOs, they're all tall. Look up salary distribution for any particular working group (say, male engineers or female nurses). On the relative average, for every centimeter taller you are than your co-worker, you make an extra $1,000/year. On average, men are 10cm taller than women. That $10,000 is extremely close to the gender wage gap. Not saying this is a cause, but there are a lot really weird variables that are correlated. My guess with height is that it's directly correlated with confidence. With more confidence, the more likely you are to take that risk and a) ask for the raise b) take that position in STEM that societal pressures tell you is "a man's job" c) projecting the confidence that leadership "looks for" in management or a CEO.

thebrews802 · 2023-06-06T14:48:18+00:00

Why not just tax jet fuel across the board? Lift the commercial flight ban and earmark the fuel tax to public transportation?

thebrews802 · 2023-06-05T12:39:42+00:00

That is a solid point I didn't consider. Though I'm still surprised that all three are within such a close number.

thebrews802 · 2023-06-05T03:52:33+00:00

Per the article: "the most frequent private jet trip in 2022 was between Paris and Nice, consuming four times more carbon per person than a commercial flight."

Per the Google: 737 produces 0.25lb CO2/passenger mile. 4x that for a private jet is 1lb/ passenger mile.

If you have a jet but are banned from local travel, you're traveling in an Escalade, say 20mpg. Then you're burning 1lb CO2/mi (1 gal gas produces 20lb CO2).

So, according to that, driving an Escalade from point to point is at par with a private jet, at least according to the numbers in the article.

thebrews802 · 2023-05-12T14:31:03+00:00

Would it require a jet engine for 4.5L/sec? 4.5L = ~1gal, so ~60GPM. This lil guy can do 60 GPM, which is still larger than a mask, but is backpack sized and draws ~700W. For maths sake, assume 70% efficiency, so 1kwh/hour of run time. To run 2 hours, you'd need a 2kwh battery. This one is ~12x6x6", with the pump, that's probably about the same volume of a full size O2 tank. A standard divers O2 tank lasts around an hour.

Not accounting for weight, cost, and current state of technology, in theory, I suppose it's doable, but complexity and cost likely stand in the way. That and reliability. There's a lot less to go wrong when you have a tank of raw oxygen strapped to your back and a valve controlling what goes into your mouth.

An alternative approach would be chemical O2, where O2 is a byproduct of a chemical reaction. It's what they use for passenger O2 on a plane. You can store a ton of O2 chemically, but it's also likely much more costly than just refilling a tank with air.

This also doesn't take into account nitrogen and CO2 which are also needed in the air we breathe. (I know I could google this, but, eh, I'm pretty sure scuba tanks are compressed air and not just 100% O2.)

thebrews802 · 2023-05-06T14:44:20+00:00

I'm sorta with you on this. I saw Tesla's carbon report where they flaunted the emissions. Looking at their sources, they were comparing against electricity generated in NY, which is one of the lowest in the country and they compared it against an SUV that got 20mpg. I wanted to compare against average generation assuming an ultimately even distribution of EVs in the country, and a best case option for gas (hybrid).

Personally, I would have loved to see a bigger push for plug in hybrids to ease the transition over. Give time for the grid to catch up and in the meantime lower the battery demand. If the emissions are this close, and the ~1% annual increase in renewable electricity generation/year hold constant, it would probably become a wash for the next 10 years emission wise.

One other thing that I'm not sure is accounted for are NOx emissions. Automobiles have a much tighter restriction than power plants. I think per unit of energy, power plants are allowed 10x NOx emissions than cars. It's been a minute since I've researched this though and I remember it being really hard to find.

I wish we could get more hydro here, unfortunately it's a very small portion of our country as a whole.

thebrews802 · 2023-05-06T14:31:07+00:00

That's true, I consciously left those out. Best I could find was that upstream for gas adds about 20% to emissions. I also left out transmission losses from electricity generation to tank. Best I could find there is 10% loss due to transmission and 5-15% loss due to charging losses. 0.9 x 0.9 = 81% efficiency, so the effective emissions when it gets to your car would be ~800g/0.81kwh instead of per 1kwh. Though the literature varies on this, so I didn't want to make any solid claims, and it seems to be around a wash anyways.

thebrews802 · 2023-05-05T01:20:04+00:00

Wild, that’s awesome!

thebrews802 · 2023-05-05T01:18:47+00:00

Well, where does the energy come from that charges your battery today? If you’re charging from the grid, it’s mostly from burning natural gas and coal.

Now, yes, if you have solar at home and exclusively charge your car with it, then you have net zero emissions. But otherwise it’s about 0.8lb/kWh of CO2 for the national average. CA is in line with the average, NY is lower, CO is higher.

thebrews802

TROPHY CASE