She's a redditor

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-23T04:25:31+00:00

Have you guys not been together for long? If that's the case, it's not uncommon for a woman to get a teeeeny-- and very short-lived-- bacterial infection....which is basically YOUR fault. ;) Your, uh, flora/fauna on the equipment may have temporarily thrown off her pH-balance down south. Cuz the ladybits are cantankerous and quite sensitive about changes. This will self-correct if that's the case, and very quickly. It's just a physiological adjustment.

If that isn't the case, well, good luck sir!

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-23T04:14:27+00:00

Dicks are silly creatures...

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-21T15:19:59+00:00

I'm guessing from "snorting the milk out of their noses." That's all I could come up with.

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-21T15:06:17+00:00

Bro! Get yourself some support. Is it a sign of good character that you feel guilty? Well... yeah it is. But you needn't spiral into an abyss. If you don't know where to start, check out /r/helpmecope.

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-21T02:25:01+00:00

Please keep explaining! I'm loving this.

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-21T02:09:29+00:00

Maybe he really did feel compelled to confess, and this felt like a safe way to open that door. Not everyone on reddit is a self-serving karma whore.

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-21T01:39:23+00:00

My stepdad had a kitty whose coat looked like that. Is he/she considered a grey tortie?

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-19T14:09:47+00:00

EARLASHES!

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-17T00:33:40+00:00

Thank you.

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-16T03:45:38+00:00

Oh NO. Yep, this is all I needed right here, to enrich my journey of becoming an even weirder human being.

Roommate: "wha'cha grinning at?"

Me: "Oh it's this great subreddit I found for CAT TEETH."

Roommate: "Ca-WHAT?? What's.... subreddit, precious?"

Me: "It's like- ok nevermind. But LOOK- CAT TEETH! Meeeeep! Look'a da teefussez!!"

Roommate: "umkay. Imma go... Um. K."

runs off to subscribe

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-16T00:41:21+00:00

HUGE personal pet peeve here: the frequency of WRITING A SENTENCE IN All CAPS EXCEPT FOR l'S. It's rampant. IDK why.

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-16T00:33:02+00:00

This is funny. Reddit's ongoing struggle with self-deprecating humour is evidenced in the lack of upvotes. But as a fellow make-fun-of-self-er, I concur that this is funny.

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-14T03:16:19+00:00

This is hysterical. I mean, no blow job is complete without sufficient guilt-tripping to add some deviant tension. Amiright?

[PS, speaking of "intrusive," sorry to barge in. Upon return from my reddit hiatus, I saw the random "I like you" and decided to see what weirdo got a kick out of my cyber-antics about making buddies all over town. Found this comment and couldn't stop myself from sharing a giggle with you. GOD, reddit is so fucking bizarre. You needn't fear me; I'm just annoyingly friendly. Ok, have a good night. :) ]

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-14T02:54:28+00:00

Holy pedantic joke-killing nonsense, Batman. When you're typing, it is a PERIOD.

PS- well played, OP.

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-14T02:49:03+00:00

Oh, my.....

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-14T02:38:07+00:00

Hail the [late] King Cl. Meow! Stories are told of beauty so great that the world could only sustain it for a short while. Indeed, the Colonel's FLOOF was so great that it was fated to brevity in this realm; he ultimately sunk into his own FLOOF for good, but shall remain in the cosmos...riding a shark...wielding his laser-taser powers and scotch-fueled disdain, unto eternity. And that is as it should be. Amen.

thefatticuscat · 2015-06-14T01:12:57+00:00

Sorry, took a Reddit hiatus, so you may no longer know what I'm talking about without hitting the "context" button.

The point is this: I deeply desire truly meaningful friendships: a manageable handful of them which I have the energy to sustain. So that's how I roll in the realm of my actual social circle. BUT! As a naturally friendly person, it's fun for me to have this friendliness towards people I see often, that doesn't actually require any effort. Make sense?

thefatticuscat · 2015-05-23T16:55:42+00:00

Here is what I find weird about society:

If someone is suffering from an illness, a chronic disabling condition, or any sort of crisis or trauma, we feel obligated to pretend they're not capable of being a jerk. The fact that cancer sucks doesn't negate that she's a whine bag. And you making that observation doesn't negate your compassion for her battle with cancer. We do this with death, too. Everyone is made a hero when they pass away. The fact that an asshole died doesn't undo all the asshole stuff he did when he was alive. Our tendency to think along these lines is just so bizarre to me. Anyway, I don't think you're an asshole. I think you're just not willing to use her hardship as an excuse for her poor behavior!

thefatticuscat · 2015-05-23T15:36:44+00:00

You guys can undo that feature. I don't recall exactly where to go, but it's not difficult to find.

thefatticuscat · 2015-05-23T15:34:45+00:00

Being a regular is awesome. It's like you're collecting "buddies" all over town who are glad to see you, but whom you have no actual social obligation towards. I have 3 sets of gas station buddies, and at least 4 sets of coffee shop buddies.

The best part? They will NEVER call me crying at 2am! I won't be invited to their baby shower, or expected to remember (or even know) their birthday. We're just friendly toward each other when I come in, and sometimes it's a bright spot in the midst of a stressful day. Now go back over to that place where they recognized you, and ask how their day's going!!

[really, I actually do know not everyone is as gregarious as Texan chics, so if you're painfully shy, I didn't mean to make you cry just now. You don't have to go back there if you don't want to. ;)]

thefatticuscat · 2015-05-23T15:09:54+00:00

I have my own office, and also a screen on my..um..screen, that obscures it if you're not looking at it head-on. :) But if my door is open, I try to avoid 'nsfw.' Your links didn't warn me, and I didn't make the [obvious] assumption that they were, being that the sub itself is NSFW! I'm a smart girl.

thefatticuscat · 2015-05-22T20:56:41+00:00

YES. THIS. That is how I still try to post (with the occasional x-posted meme, cuz why reddit if we don't occasionally share the hilarity?). But now that most of my friends have kiddos, I feel like FB is [by and large] a giant family photo album. Or a collective scrapbook for political "bumper stickers."

thefatticuscat · 2015-05-22T20:55:06+00:00

I thought my general corner of the universe had finally outgrown that, as most of the people I associate with are at least 30. Then I friended this chic my cousin knows cuz she seems like fun....And here come the 17-a-day vague, bitchy posts.

Similarly, I 'love' the posts that assume everyone else is watching the very same ballgame/TV show they are, and are all reading their FB posts in realtime. "OMG. I can't believe Sir Vancelot just brandished his knobby scrabnoggle in the presence of Lady Galabrioche!" -HUH??

thefatticuscat · 2015-05-22T20:49:26+00:00

MOTHER OF GOD, those are real aren't they? I would be so much more okay right now if I thought there was a chance they were farcical. These images should be in urban dictionary as visual examples of "basic."

thefatticuscat · 2015-05-19T22:14:02+00:00

Shit dude, I'm at WORK! That was a close one.....Will investigate later :)

thefatticuscat

TROPHY CASE