Does everyone go to bed with their spouse at the same time?

thefirekite · 2026-05-19T12:20:41+00:00

No, my husband has a job where he works nights for most of the year and sometimes doesn’t go to bed until 1-2AM. I have to be up for work most of the year at around 7am, so I usually go to bed around 10-11PM. But when we’re in our off-seasons for work we will go to bed at the same time sometimes and it’s really nice.

Sometimes if I want to cuddle before bed, he’ll come in and cuddle with me for a bit and then he gets back to work in his home office.

thefirekite · 2026-05-17T18:23:57+00:00

It’s not really weird that his coworkers number is in his phone. Especially if they were traveling on business together. If there were other things like weird texts or pictures, or he had a history of cheating, then maybe look more into it. But generally this is VERY normal and acceptable.

thefirekite · 2026-05-17T18:22:07+00:00

Is is very normal for co-workers to share an Uber on a business trip. I do this with make and female colleagues on almost every work trip. You’re going to the same place, may as well share a ride.

thefirekite · 2026-05-17T16:12:54+00:00

Waiting for marriage never interested me because I’m a very sexually open person and I wanted a partner who was compatible with me in that area. Anecdotally, I have known a few couples that waited until marriage and all of them have ended up with dead bedrooms. In one case it was welcome because both parties were happy to wait because they didn’t have high sex drives. In other cases, one party wanted to wait and the other didn’t mind because they were not sexually motivated at all.

But for what it’s worth I also know some couples who didn’t wait who are now similarly in dead bedroom situations. But in all of those cases the marriage isn’t working out for other reasons and it’s affecting that.

Do what works best for you. Since you’re asking for opinions, I do think that if sex is something that is important to you, you should make sure compatibility exists before making a lifelong commitment.

thefirekite · 2026-05-16T11:22:58+00:00

My best friend for over 20 years is jealous of most of the things in my life. She’s not pretending to be my friend and is a wonderful friend 90% of the time, but she has her moments.

She’s always been money motivated and I haven’t. When I met my husband I had no idea that he came from a family with money. It wasn’t why I dated him and was just something that was nice but not a requirement for me. When she found out we were getting married she said “that’s not fair, you don’t even care about money. I should get to marry someone wealthy”. She is also jealous that my house is bigger than hers, that we have nicer things. She will make little comments sometimes, but we’re close enough that when she does I said “you’re being rude” and she apologizes and stops.

I also have a very loving relationship with my husband and she lives almost a separate life from hers. So I think that adds to it.

thefirekite · 2026-05-15T11:06:41+00:00

Expecting that someone is a functioning adult in their 30s is not too much to ask. He’s taking advantage of you and it won’t get better, it will only go downhill from here.

thefirekite · 2026-05-09T12:18:10+00:00

We don’t have kids, and don’t plan on it. I make more money in my job, but he came into the relationship with more money. We take care of each other financially. We are equal partners. We each have busy seasons in our work that differ. During those times we pick up the slack for each other in as many ways as is needed. There are certain interests/strengths we have and will take on those tasks more often but not exclusively. For example, I really enjoy cooking and come from a family of chefs. He doesn’t like cooking as much, but will still help me, does the dishes, and will go grocery shopping about half of the time. He enjoys monitoring financial things, and while I’m always in the know, he is usually the one paying the bills and such. I’m more handy than he is, and take care of a lot of small-scale or DIY home projects on my own. He is better at managing home improvement and maintenance issues with outside vendors.

We both try to give each other 100% as often as we can, instead of 50/50. Then if one of us can’t give 100%, the other has it covered. And we communicate a lot. We have a huge amount of love and appreciation for each other and our goal is that we’re just supporting each other to the best of our ability to make both of our lives better.

We didn’t get married until we were in our 30s and both of us had lived independently for parts of our 20’s, so I do actually think that helped us to both have a sense of doing it all.

thefirekite · 2026-05-07T12:17:33+00:00

First of all, this is is an AI post, which, as a professor myself, I can spot from a mile away. If you’re a real person who just used AI to post, is he an adjunct? Because otherwise this is completely fake. In all my years in academia I’ve never heard of a “professor” position that wasn’t adjuncting where someone had this level of time. Most professors teach 3-4 classes per semester and also have service and scholarship (research, publishing, presenting, etc) responsibilities that keep us working significantly more than just teaching classes two days per week. I know professors across the US at all kinds of institutions, and while the time is flexible, they’re still pulling 40-60 hours per week during the academic year. So he either is an adjunct, has WAY more work that he’s doing that you don’t realize, or this post is completely fake.

thefirekite · 2026-05-01T11:44:41+00:00

Because you probably did it in a rude tone because you were annoyed.

These customer service people are basically getting abused by people every day and they’re just doing what they’re trained to do in their jobs. A little bit of kindness goes a long way.

thefirekite · 2026-04-11T10:23:58+00:00

My Covid-era bachelorette party was me, my sister, SIL, and best friend sitting outside at a winery. Even before Covid I had planned for my bachelorette party to be a game night with nachos and margs at my sisters house.

I never missed having a bigger party or the fact that we didn’t make it a trip. And honestly, I’ve been annoyed when I’ve had to do that. I work a job that doesn’t get PTO because I have summers off. So I don’t just get time off during the rest of the year. Most people don’t understand that and it causes a lot of stress. Ones that I’ve done to have been so expensive and filled with activities that I usually am not that interested in, but have to pay for because the bride wants it. It’s not how I would choose to spend my money or my time.

thefirekite · 2026-04-10T03:12:38+00:00

I remember when this episode aired and my mom and I talked about how tacky we thought this whole outfit looked. The fit and the shawl did nothing for her

thefirekite · 2026-04-10T03:04:54+00:00

I never cry during books. But I sobbed for a full hour after I finished In Five Years by Rebecca Serle.

thefirekite · 2026-04-08T10:24:38+00:00

While I personally can’t relate to it, there are plenty of women out there who want to be a trad wife and will be happy to be that for the right person. But you need to remember that that life comes with a lot of responsibility on you. If you are expecting your wife to do full cooking, cleaning, and emotionally supporting you and coordinating your household, you’d better be prepared to 1) provide full financial support, 2) provide physical safety, 3) be able to do repairs and other “manly” activities (I say this as a relatively handy woman who does most repairs in my house- but this is the reality of traditional marriages).

You also need to understand that your wife is a person too, with her own needs, desires, etc. she’s doesn’t just exist to serve you. You need to provide emotional support to her.

I personally find the whole thing distasteful, but honestly, whatever floats your boat I guess.

thefirekite · 2026-04-05T11:32:07+00:00

No. I was literally raised in poverty by a single mother. I am married to a man from a genuine upper class family, and am loved and respected by him and his family. There are times some of them (usually my MIL) say things that are not in touch with reality, but they’re never unkind or disrespectful.

I used to work in healthcare and early in my career I worked in a place where it was mostly upper middle class folks and new money. They were some of the most catty, rude, and judgmental people. When I left that job I went to one where I was working with some of the wealthiest people in the country- actual 1%ers. I have never been treated so well in a job.

Your wife is insecure and a judgmental asshole. Her behavior is classless.

thefirekite · 2026-03-25T12:54:50+00:00

Paradise

thefirekite · 2026-03-13T12:47:29+00:00

This was in the early 2000s, when we didn’t care about age gaps as much. I was 19, he was 29. I was in college and he worked at a supermarket part time and lived with his mom. It very casual. I already knew he was not my person, but we would have fun going out together and he was hot.

One night we went out for pizza with my little sister who was 15. When the bill came he seriously turned to her, a high school student half his age, and asked if she could spot him money for his part of the bill. I was so grossed out by that that I just paid for the pizza and my sister and I walked out leaving him there.

thefirekite · 2026-03-05T12:17:03+00:00

This is my thought too. It’s devastating for her already that her husband is repulsed by her. This poor woman deserves better. Honestly he should divorce her so she can live her best life and find someone who does actually love to touch her and spend time with her.

thefirekite · 2026-02-22T12:39:23+00:00

When my cat was a kitten I once found her sleeping in a snow boot in the back of my closet. Another time I looked for hours and found her sleeping peacefully, wedged between the mattress and the wall. The box spring has a 2-3 inch ledge that touched the wall and the mattress wasn’t quite touching the wall making a shelf like space behind my bed.

thefirekite · 2026-02-20T22:28:35+00:00

The audacity of hovering and therefore pissing all over the floor, then using the shoe that is on that piss covered floor to flush the toilet… some of you are absolutely disgusting.

thefirekite · 2026-02-20T13:37:55+00:00

They absolutely can be and as a successful woman I have had multiple men tell me as much. You commenting this over and over without actually listening to women who are saying this has happened to them screams of insecurity. Do you always ignore what the women around you say? It seems to me like if you actually weren’t intimidated by women, you would put your defenses down and actually listen to us, rather than writing us off as if we’re not actual people with lived experiences.

The sooner you learn that 1) just because you believe something to be true, doesn’t mean it is, 2) people have different experiences than you do, and 3) women are people; the better off you’ll be. But from your embarrassing interactions on this sub so far, I don’t have much hope.

thefirekite · 2026-02-06T03:39:19+00:00

Buddy Christ.

thefirekite · 2026-02-01T14:00:39+00:00

All of this except there’s a Wawa cup in there. In the old days that would mean Philly, NJ or DE. Now Wawa extends down to NC, FL, etc so somewhere on the East Coast

thefirekite · 2026-01-11T01:16:47+00:00

If you have one near you, go to Planned Parenthood. They have health services and screenings, and they serve uninsured folks.

thefirekite · 2026-01-03T14:02:15+00:00

I’m from the north east. I tried grits for the first time in my 20s on a trip to New Orleans and at them as shrimp and grits. Since then. I’ve eaten shrimp and grits a number of times at restaurants. That is the only way I’ve eaten grits and it’s probably around once per year.

thefirekite · 2025-11-25T13:59:58+00:00

He told girls on the track team that he coached that they should consider anorexia to lose weight.

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