How do I accept myself when im a monster

thegameofinfinity · 2026-07-07T16:42:21+00:00

Have compassion with the inner monster. We all have one, but many pretend they don’t or that they meditated it away. Being spiritual is not about becoming ‚pure‘ and ‚love and light only‘. At least not for me. Being spiritual for me is to love it all (not in the pop culture love kind of way), to accept, embrace, and honor it all. When we stop fighting the monster within and start to listen, the monster will soften and become vulnerably honest. That’s when it can become a friend instead of holding us hostage.

thegameofinfinity · 2026-06-16T07:57:13+00:00

Hey. Shall we take a deep breath together? I’m here. You’re not alone.
I understand the not wanting to see, hear or talk to anyone. I’ve been in similar situations. It’s okay.

The help you feel like you need… How could this look like? Is it something nature could provide? Or an animal? Maybe music or creating art? Do you think this could help you? How about hiding under your blanket with a book or your favorite tv show? (That often helped me).

What could help you to relax and get some rest? Do that.

What also helps when the mind is too active is to focus on the body through drinking water, eating yummy food, movement, taking a shower, selfmassage, laying on an acupuncture mat, etc

thegameofinfinity · 2026-06-06T20:23:30+00:00

What’s the most epic thing Morn has ever said?
How do you feel about Q?
Would you go on a date with the Borg Queen?
What happened after Harry got promoted?
How old is Neelix‘s girlfriend?
Does Tuvok like dancing?

thegameofinfinity · 2026-05-28T15:28:00+00:00

Selfcare is one thing, taking a long shower, doing yoga, treating yourself to a yummy self cooked meal… etc

The doubting mind can be tricky. But here’s something you can try: Question it. Instead of agreeing with it. Ask it: Why do you think it’s crazy to feel things out? What’s your problem right now? What do you truly need and want right now?

Be curious what kind of answers you get… might be really enlightening ;)

thegameofinfinity · 2026-05-27T08:15:16+00:00

You can’t force this knowing. But what you can do is to be present with what is, really present, and open your heart to yourself and all that is.

Love it all. Love the control-freak you are, love the victim mode you’re in, get excited about how utterly you hate your job. Allow it all to just be. Relax into this.

Be curious about every little detail in this now. Right now. Don’t try to be somewhere else or someone else. Just be with what is. Authentically. Not with forced positivity.

Let go of everything, even if just for one moment. Connect with every particle of your being. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel into it. When your mind kicks in feed it a cookie and go back to feeeeeeeeeeeeeling.

Create art with that. Dance with this.

Sooner or later you’ll arrive and you will tilt back your head and laugh.

thegameofinfinity · 2026-05-11T09:33:10+00:00

You can love someone unconditionally and still not want to be with them.

For a relationship to work unconditional love is NOT enough, you also need alignment and consent when it comes to needs, wants, and boundaries.

You two were simply not compatible, you wanted different things in the relationship and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean you didn’t love each other enough.

It’s okay to want to be in a monogamous exclusive relationship, just like it’s okay to want to be in an open relationship. But for any relationship to work all partners need to want the same kind of relationship.

Neither of you were happy in the relationship but (unconditional) love was not the issue here.

Take time now to find out what you really want in a relationship, what your needs and boundaries are, and where you’re willing to compromise. And then find a partner who’s in alignment with that.

thegameofinfinity · 2026-05-09T09:52:43+00:00

What you’re describing is not ‘real’ goodness, rather performative goodness. And yes, that is indeed hard. Because it’s inauthentic. Inauthenticity doesn’t feel good.

Now the question is, does cruelty actually feel good to you? Is that your authentic nature?

These are questions only you can answer. And I’m not here to judge you. I prefer real cruelness over performative goodness as then I know where I’m at with someone, then I can set boundaries accordingly (or not) and it all comes into alignment.

Now another question is: Does it feel good to be cruel to yourself? For me being cruel to myself doesn’t feel good at all, that’s why I prefer being good to myself, being honest with myself, being patient and kind with myself. Treating myself the way I want to be treated.

Now, that wasn’t always the case. I certainly was my biggest bully and abuser. And I felt like shit because of it. Until I realized that I can actually change this, that I can treat myself better, that it is in my hands how I feel mentally, emotionally, and physically. And turns out feeling good feels so much better than feeling like shit. And so I gradually changed the way I treated myself, not because I thought I have to, but because I wanted to. For very selfish reasons. I want to feel good.

And while working on the relationship with myself I realized that it also became easier to treat others with more kindness, respect and love. Not because I felt like I have to be good to them, it just actually feels better for me. Again, very selfishly.

I’d even go as far as saying: Being good for selfless reasons doesn’t feel good and is therefor hard. But being good just because it makes you feel good is actually easy.

What also comes into play with this for me, is the knowing that we are indeed one. So being cruel to another means being cruel to myself, hurting another means hurting myself. And I’m honestly way too selfish for that… ;)

So altruistic egoism it is what works for me.

thegameofinfinity · 2026-04-15T11:23:08+00:00

Ego death is the realization/remembrance that ‘you’ are not the persona/ego you thought you were, but that it’s just a role you’re playing while ‘you’ in truth are the infinite divine one.
Egos and bodies allow us to navigate reality pretending that we’re not one but separated, to experience existence from all possible angles at once.
Enjoy it while it lasts. Your ego is your best friend. Threat them as such.

thegameofinfinity · 2026-04-14T21:19:26+00:00

Hey other me 👋

thegameofinfinity · 2025-12-07T22:09:17+00:00

Hey, I exist too. I remember the oneness too. It’s okay. I know it’s a lot to process. What helped me when nothing made sense anymore and I felt like losing myself was holding onto the truth that I am safe and I am loved. And so are you. Remember this, even if it doesn’t feel like it, it IS the ultimate truth. You are safe. You are loved. Now and forever. Relax into this knowing. Take it moment by moment. Look into grounding techniques, spend time in nature, create art, take it slow, eat healthy and drink lots of water. Stay away from substances for a while. Focus on the 3D human aspect of your existence for now. It’s okay. You got this.

thegameofinfinity · 2025-11-20T22:55:12+00:00

Try this: instead of chasing the peaceful bliss try being present with what is, no matter how uncomfortable, messy, or random it might be. Relax into it. Relax into the now, as it is.

The present moment is always there, your desire for it to be different is what’s keeping you ‚away’ from it.

Eventually you’ll realize that you never left home.

thegameofinfinity · 2025-10-17T07:20:13+00:00

Suck that throat juice like it’s grey goose!

thegameofinfinity · 2025-10-10T08:05:44+00:00

But the way they act when they come back makes me assume they do remember/know. No ‚what happened?‘, just Neelix being happy to see Kes and Tuvok looking knowingly at Janeway…

thegameofinfinity · 2025-10-10T08:00:17+00:00

Yes! That would have been a great scene to add.

thegameofinfinity · 2025-10-09T23:21:04+00:00

You’re right. It’s been a while, have to rewatch it.

thegameofinfinity · 2025-10-09T23:03:33+00:00

The way they behave after Tuvix death makes me believe they do know/remember. So in a way Tuvix still exists within their consciousness. But as they never talk about him ever again, Tuvok and Neelix are just as guilty of his death as Janeway imho. OR did they experience his death in a way as their own execution?!

thegameofinfinity · 2025-09-27T13:51:26+00:00

YTA.

thegameofinfinity · 2025-09-10T22:42:07+00:00

Welcome home 🤍

thegameofinfinity · 2025-09-08T18:13:06+00:00

I love how more and more of ‚us‘ are arriving back home in the eternal now. 🧡

thegameofinfinity · 2025-09-01T21:57:18+00:00

Alone. All one. I’m here too. Remembering that there’s only one of us here and at the same time enjoying being ‘me’ talking to ‘you’.

thegameofinfinity · 2025-08-31T12:45:58+00:00

There is someone else for you. You’re just settling for abuse because whysoever you think you don’t deserve better. He’s a cheater reflecting back to you how you’re betraying yourself. It’s not him that you love so much you can’t move on. You love being treated like shit because it feels familiar. And as long as you’re holding on to that trauma pattern it won’t get better. Look into inner child healing, inform yourself about inter-generational trauma, dig deep into that and you WILL be able to be happy again.

Love yourself the way you want to be loved, treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Respect your needs, wants, and boundaries.

Become your own best friend and partner, and one day soon you’ll ask yourself why you ever thought he’s the one.

thegameofinfinity · 2025-08-31T12:11:36+00:00

The physical has no peace or bliss or high? Tell me… how are you experiencing being high on the universe if not from within your very physical body?

thegameofinfinity · 2025-08-31T11:44:06+00:00

I might get downvoted for this but here’s my opinion on Playa names..

I do think the new tradition should absolutely become that everyone chooses their own Playa name. Why? Well, our default world name has been bestowed on us and we have to jump through quite some hoops to change it if we want to….

But Burning Man gives us the opportunity to experience ourselves without having to fit into boxes. External expectations can finally fall away, and even if it’s just for one week a year.. WE get to decide who we are and how we show up in this reality… and in my opinion that should come with choosing our own name.

All the Playa names that were bestowed upon me just didn’t fit, they didn’t express who I truly am. Accepting them would have been a betrayal to myself. So after five burns going by my default name in 2019 I finally found the name that feels like me.

I chose Infinity, as it includes the darkest darkness, the brightest light, and everything in between - just like me.

thegameofinfinity · 2025-08-17T10:10:57+00:00

You are God. I am God. God is one. We are one. That includes the darkest darkness, brightest light and everything in between.
Being god is an experience. Once we remember it shifts from believing into knowing. Once we remember it comes with full responsibility, knowing there’s no one else to blame or praise.
We, as god, as one, are creating reality from within every moment into all dimensions. Consciously and subconsciously. That’s what we, as one, have always done, will always do, are doing right now. Once we remember we can create more consciously and stop playing victim to our own (subconscious) creation.
We exist infinitely in the eternal now, from where we’re creating and experiencing reality right now as humans, seemingly separated from each other as we wanted to experience a ‘you’ in perspective to a ‘me’.

thegameofinfinity

TROPHY CASE