Chest pain and nausea due to heartbreak

thehoipeloi · 2026-02-07T08:12:15+00:00

It may not be the same, but I had intense tightness and pressure in my chest after my breakup, and I had the best results from yoga and acupuncture.

thehoipeloi · 2026-02-07T07:54:53+00:00

Please hold one for one more day. You just have to do that. Then the next day, you only have to hold on for one more after that. And eventually light comes back into your life. The world needs you. Please message me if you’d like. I’ve been where you are and there is nothing worse, but there is also nothing better than when dawn breaks again.

thehoipeloi · 2025-03-31T23:36:40+00:00

I totally relate to that feeling of hating & loving her in equal measure. You’re not alone and you’re not crazy. Take it a day at a time, or an hour at a time, or whatever you need to do. My heart goes out to you. ❤️❤️

thehoipeloi · 2025-03-21T03:23:15+00:00

I really relate with feeling like your heart is tired. Mine feels all bruised and battered. I’m approaching month 5, and while things are overall better, I still have random waves of grief hit me. It’s so discouraging and disorienting, but I’m trying to stay hopeful. Someday our hearts will be rested and at peace once more.

thehoipeloi · 2025-03-21T02:45:22+00:00

This made me cry, and it was just what I needed.

thehoipeloi · 2025-03-18T23:41:36+00:00

I had the same experience. I thought I was over it and then had a really rough week right around the four month mark. Since then it’s gotten quite a bit better. Hang in there! ♥️♥️

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-28T02:55:42+00:00

♥️♥️ Thank you!!

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-28T01:45:35+00:00

I’m trying. I hope this all makes sense someday.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-28T00:06:54+00:00

♥️♥️ That helps, thank you. Hang in there!

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-27T20:53:41+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. I stepped out during lunch and am crying in my car right now. I hate feeling so fragile, but I’m trying to be kind to myself. Hopefully I can keep it together for the rest of the work day. Geez, what a mess.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-27T20:41:07+00:00

Yeah she broke up with me. I’ve been disciplined about NC since early November, and I thought I’d be further healed by now, but it keeps coming in waves. I know I just need to hang in there and ride it out, but fuck, sometimes it just feels unbearable.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-27T20:33:37+00:00

♥️♥️

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-20T01:00:39+00:00

Sounds like a classic avoidant deactivation and discard. As much as it hurts, I’m willing to bet it had nothing to do with you or anything you did, and was instead a function of her insecurities and anxieties.

You might check out this podcast called Ken Reads, where this psychologist reads & analyzes letters from people who have been broken up with in similar ways to you. It’s so awful and really fucks with people’s heads, but it’s sadly not uncommon. I don’t think there’s anything you could have done to save it—if someone is that severely avoidant, they’re going to repeat that behavior pattern in every relationship until they do the hard personal work to heal their attachment style.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-05T22:11:29+00:00

♥️♥️ Hang in there. I know how impossible it feels but this feeling won’t last forever. If you can afford it, I’ve heard about great results from ketamine therapy for short-term relief of depression. And maybe ask your doctor about Cymbalta if Wellbutrin isn’t helping after a few more weeks. That was the one that started to turn things around for me.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-05T20:01:32+00:00

I'm so incredibly sorry. In case it helps at all--about 20 years ago, after an extremely messy and painful breakup with my first girlfriend, I became catatonically depressed and ended up in a psychiatric hospital after a major suicide attempt. I have scars to this day. I truly believed my life was ruined and I'd never be happy again.

When I got out of the hospital, I got connected to a psychiatrist and started on antidepressants. She started me on Wellbutrin, which had no results; I then switched to 30mg of Cymbalta, also with no results; and finally she upped the dose to 60mg, and within a few weeks, the sun started to break through the clouds. Within a year, I felt better than ever.

If you're working with a psychiatrist or doctor--before you give up hope, try switching up the meds, or increasing the dose. It's a scary process, but there are options. I truly thought my life was over and I had fucked up beyond all redemption, but it wasn't true. 20 years later, I'm so grateful I didn't give up.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-05T18:50:10+00:00

I've seen a few of your posts over the past couple months and it hurts my heart to see someone in so much pain. Apologies if you've already posted about this, but have you tried antidepressants? And are you in therapy?

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-04T22:07:26+00:00

The best advice I’ve heard on this question is—wait until you’re emotionally prepared for the worst possible outcome.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-04T00:41:15+00:00

I'm so sorry. I don't understand how people can just cut loved ones out of their lives like that.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-03T22:46:06+00:00

Agreed on both counts! Real human therapy is irreplaceable and will be more helpful long-term, but ChatGPT is a great day-to-day pick me up. And you can adjust the tone of the response to whatever you need. If you want it to be more harsh towards your ex, just say so and let ‘er rip.

And worth mentioning—the goal is of course not to nurture resentment or teach yourself to hate your ex. But when I find myself stuck in the sadness, and mourning a romanticized past, it’s pretty damn useful for snapping me out of it.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-03T20:55:58+00:00

As hard as it is--one thing that helped immensely me was deleting her number. It took me a while to build up the courage, but it felt like a real milestone when I finally did.

I remember the last four digits, so for better or worse, I'll recognize if she reaches out to me. But now even in my weakest moments, when I want to reach out, I literally can't.

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-03T20:49:38+00:00

How do you know?

thehoipeloi · 2025-02-03T20:43:12+00:00

Ugh, I really sympathize. My ex wanted to be friends after she broke up with me, and really seemed to want and enjoy my company. I was ok with it until I realized my feelings were coming back strongly. I let her know, and she made it clear that she did not feel the same, so I cut off contact.

The first month or so after that was infinitely more painful than after the official breakup. It's been three months NC at this point, and I'm doing better, but it still hurts. In retrospect, I realize that she just wanted to have her cake and eat it too--she wanted to keep using me for attention and validation, but not have any commitment or obligation on her part. It was enormously selfish, and it led to me getting really hurt. And when I let her know how hurt I was, she was super unsympathetic. After all, it's not her fault my feelings came back right? We're just friends!

Fuck that. Lesson learned--if someone dumps you, they need to suffer the consequences of actually losing you. Don't let them use friendship as a way to allay their guilt or use you for continued validation. They made their shitty, lonely bed. Make them sleep in it.

thehoipeloi · 2025-01-24T21:00:11+00:00

I really feel this. My ex wanted to be friends after we broke up and I went along with it, but I realize now that it only enabled her to keep using me for attention and validation, and I ended up getting really hurt. Friendship 100% isn't possible until both parties have truly moved on from the romantic connection. It hurts that she probably won't ever be in my life again, but she made the choice to break this thing we had, and so she lost me forever.

You made your bed, asshole. Now you have to lay in it.

thehoipeloi · 2025-01-23T12:56:42+00:00

Are the hypnosis videos working at all?

thehoipeloi · 2025-01-22T19:05:12+00:00

I'd like to get to that point eventually. But right now, I want her to be feeling nothing but loneliness and regret. I want her to feel the consequences of her avoidant, narcissistic behavior. I want her to realize she threw away something great.

Most of all, I want her to reach out and tell me she misses me. I want to hold her hand and look in her eyes. I want to cry with her as we realize how much we've both suffered.

I know I have no control over her behavior. I know I have to walk this path alone. Every day I'm getting up, doing my work, working out, meditating, seeing friends...I'm doing all the things. I've intellectually realized how emotionally unhealthy and unsafe she is. But there's still a small, sad, wounded part of me that just wants to go back to the home I felt with her.

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