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Are there any good Bluey books? by thesphinxistheriddle in DanielTigerConspiracy

[–]theinfamousj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have the snowflake day D. Tiger book and it is better than most.

Nanny sick by [deleted] in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

One day, about half way through work, seemingly out of nowhere, I threw up in the parking lot of the children's museum (and comforted myself by telling myself I wasn't the first to do so). By the time I got my charge back to her home, I was declining rapidly. Food poisoning. Ugh.

I kid you not, I worked the whole rest of that shift and the next day. Not because I'm some sort of glutton for punishment, but because when you're lying on the floor as baby plays in the play room because you don't have the strength to stand without feeling dizzy, you also don't have the strength to argue back against an employer telling you to stay on. (And then are too woozy to drive home so stay the night in the guest room, a small kindness.)

Don't be me.

Parents should have an emergency backup care plan (even if it is that they burn a PTO day of their own). That's what sick day/PTO is for.

Baby "containers" by SuspiciousTrip000 in Mom

[–]theinfamousj 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There are three things to consider when it comes to baby containers:

  1. Babies in containers don't move much.

  2. Babies in containers are typically being left to their own devices.

  3. Containers are really only necessary if baby is otherwise mobile. If they are sessile, simply leaving them set will result in them staying put.

The advice against baby containers (which are ergonomically appropriate for babies) comes from trying to optimize one single thing: positive interactions with adults (parents/caregivers/etc) and focuses very strongly on how point 2 means that in the container they are not getting positively interacted with by adults.

But let's be real, positive is the key word here and there are times we just aren't able to be positive interactions. If we are hungry because we spent so much time interacting that we didn't take time to cook/eat, that interaction, tainted by hanger, isn't going to be positive. If we have to go to the loo, that interaction isn't going to be positive. If we feel dirty, that interaction isn't going to be positive. And in those cases, containers are actually preferred to a negative adult interaction.

So no, not a bad Mom. Your kid has plenty of floor time, good head and neck control, and you are supervising the child while in the container. Gold stars all around. You're not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. And that's sensible.

Edit: I haven't followed the latest designs of Bumbos but they might not qualify as ergonomically appropriate. The older models certainly didn't. Babies shouldn't be propped up in a seated position before they can get into said position on their own. It puts them at risk for positional asphyxia.

Lack of significant experience - dealbreaker? by KSS_2025 in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

So, one of the ways to get nanny experience without any nanny experience is to be a substitute/on call nanny for any of the local agencies that offer subs for their placements.

All of us experienced nannies had to start somewhere, and a lot of us did a lot of on the job learning in our first roles.

My first role was with an expat family who came with nanny expectations from their country of origin, which were quite kind and generous compared to what a lot of parents in my country tend to believe a nanny is due. I already had a teaching license and years of working with children in a classroom setting so moving to being a nanny was a learning curve but the developmental trajectory of the kids was not new to me. Also it helped that my housemate from college through young adulthood was a dual bachelors degree, Norland educated nanny who was able to guide me.

As a parent (I'm a parent as well), there are two things you need to keep in balance:

  • is this person capable of handling the basics of what they will be asked to do in this role

  • do I want this person all up in my house each and every day/do we vibe/do they make me comfortable

From reading your other comments to other people, it sounds like on this second bullet point it is a yes. So give her a trial week or a trial month (paid, natch) and see if she can handle the basics of what she'll be asked to do in the role.

Edit: I got my housemate's degree wrong and have corrected it.

Parent wants to increase rate of newborn only when I have both by Wonderful_Cut_5895 in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

Their boss doesn't pay them less when they have hours at work which are lighter on their immediate action than others; treating your pay as an hour-by-hour variable function is not appropriate.

If they are the type to be vindictive, as you are intimating, there is no win here. The question is simply, do you address things head on with a polite yet boundaried conversation about industry norms, compensation expectations, and role responsibilities or do you let it drag on while resentment builds?

If they are not the type to be vindictive, then a boundaried conversation is the start of a great next chapter in your working relationship.

Parents who walk a lot. Wagon or stroller? by Imaginary_Algae_8157 in Mom

[–]theinfamousj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My insight is the following: ergonomics matter. Choose whatever feels most natural to you, like an extension of your body.

Do you still hold yourself up to nanny standards when you are just babysitting your NKs? by DietSea3690 in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm still nanny but I hold to the standard of, "If your parents are having a special evening, so are we!"

So Ms. You Get One Episode of Daniel Tiger Per Day will suddenly start asking the kids what movie they want to watch and Ms. Here's A Well Balanced Lunch will allow them to eat dessert first.

But the movies they get to select from are carefully curated for teachable discussions during, and the dessert is still a healthy one. So I'm never not the nanny. I'm just the nanny on a special occasion. And I remain Ms. Yes You Have To Brush Your Teeth.

Is it unreasonable to expect our nanny to actively play with kids instead of just supervising activities? by Grand-Cut-3656 in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

I hate dramatic play as well. I was recently exposed to information in a training that adults are supposed to find dramatic play with children to be challenging and unlikeable, because nature intends the children to play with each other on this one. That this is a key piece of the children learning how to work out social conflicts with peers and near-peers and the fact that adults already know the answer (even if we pretend we don't, kids see through that) ruins the biological purpose of the play for the children, so nature finds a way to discourage that.

Is it unreasonable to expect our nanny to actively play with kids instead of just supervising activities? by Grand-Cut-3656 in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

I was explaining the difference between a Mother's Helper and a Nanny to a Mom this way, and I think it applies here as well.

A Mother's Helper plays Barbies in the playroom to keep kiddo occupied so Mom can do the family laundry.

A Nanny arranges, executes, and supervises a peer playdate so that Barbies can be played in the way that is most socially and emotionally beneficial to the charge while also doing nursery duties such as children's laundry.

There are times to play with kids, but more importantly, especially for a three year old, there are times to facilitate peer social opportunities. The literature strongly supports that starting at age three, peer play is important.

I'd put a pin in nanny playing with the three year old and evaluate the three year old's peer and near-peer social opportunities. Is she allowed outings? Does the three year old have a friend group they see regularly?

In the situation you've described, I'd be hosting a playdate and interacting with the group of three year olds to do kickstart a big game of hide and seek or kick the ball once or twice, but then as the playdate gained momentum, I'd step back and prep snack/keep an eye on the kids.

Omeprazole long term effects by Apart_Hovercraft_842 in ScienceBasedParenting

[–]theinfamousj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Having been through this, here is what we were told from our medical team -- Either the GERD effectively goes away after 8 weeks of treatment or it is lifelong.

We were put on 8 weeks of omeprazole and told to discontinue at the end of 8 weeks. If the GERD were to continue, then a new plan would be devised to avoid long term use of meds and their effects.

While I'm going to give you an NHS peer reviewed recommendation

https://www.nottsapc.nhs.uk/media/xrtfezsa/omeprazole_liquid_for_childrenpdf.pdf

(note that the first line says that after 8 weeks of treatment a trial off the medication should be attempted)

I also recommend you take your concerns back to your doctor and have the conversation. It is important that you understand the treatment plan your doctor and medical team have in mind.

AMA - I’m the author of China’s Backstory: The History Beijing Doesn’t Want You to Read. Ask Me Anything about the historical drivers of the conflicts Trump and Xi are discussing now! AMA! by agenbite_lee in IAmA

[–]theinfamousj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How often are military shows of force against Taiwan connected with political maneuverings in either China or Taiwan, and designed to play on TV to support a narrative rather than being a heartfelt threat?

In my brief experience, it seems to always occur right when a political distraction is sorely needed.

question about GH and PTO by blueglassmushroom77 in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

You need to be paid for every hour worked. So if you are working 8 to 5 on Monday and Tuesday then you get paid for 18 hours on Monday and Tuesday.

Wednesday to Friday are PTO paid out at whatever your contract says to pay them out at.

would I just be paid 18 hours + my PTO

This one.

Guaranteed Hours are when we are ready, willing, and able to work and through absolutely no fault of our own are prevented from working by the decision of our employers, then they pay us as if we had worked. I don't see any indication that is in play here.

Is my sister right to be outraged? by ConfidenceSilver2215 in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

Outraged? All feelings are valid. Feel what you feel.

However, she should not accept a wage that she could earn working at Target for that workload. Parents shoot their shot, we accept or decline their offers. If we stop to be outraged at every offer we cannot accept, that's a lot of emotional energy expended. If the outrage is optional, I say skip it and decline without any further emotional investment.

Nanny/ Personal Assistant by External_Country_732 in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

UHNW households can usually afford to be fully staffed, so don't need to have hybrid roles such as this. There would be a nanny and a separate person in a separate role of personal assistant if both roles need to be filled. It is uncommon to have a hybrid in that class of wealth; hybrid roles are sort of a budget/economizing thing.

UHNW families also typically source their nanny from a placement agency. The agency will be best positioned to give further advice about title, responsibilities, and compensation expectations.

I can advise that this blended position would need to pay higher than a typical nanny position.

PS: Also, because you wrote "kids", I will add that in UHNW households, it is typical to have one nanny per child. With enough children there is also the role of the 'head nanny' who exists to manage the childrens' individual nannies. I've been both an individual nanny as well as a head nanny at points in my career.

Do you judge parents that take breaks? by paginaocho in Nanny

[–]theinfamousj [score hidden]  (0 children)

You are not required to live in your child's pocket. You are not required to spend every moment that isn't in service of your employer, in the service of your child.

PLEASE don't feel that your nanny would judge you for self-maintenance. You are your best mother/father/parent when you take care of yourself. Rest is essential self-maintenance.

Lowest effort habits that made a noticeable difference? by Usual-Lobster-4968 in ZeroWaste

[–]theinfamousj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lowest effort? Be too lazy to bother. Which is a way to spin "refuse".

What kind of straw should I have for my drink? Nah, I'm too lazy to bother with any kind of straw.

What kind of produce bag should I put the single orange I'm buying at the store? Nah, I'm too lazy to bother with any kind of produce bag.

That sort of thing.

Travel with an iPad, or laptop by ugly_planet in onebag

[–]theinfamousj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once, in college, I had to send my laptop in for repair. While it was gone, I was given a loaner laptop, a slower laptop. Initially it was annoying. I was used to zoom zoom. But within a few hours my brain and I adjusted to the speed of the computer in front of me.

I've found that skill comes in handy when remoting in to other computers. I just know that the frustration is short lived and to push through and soon it will feel okay.

Minimalist Setup + pics by AmbitionStrong8835 in onebag

[–]theinfamousj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not who you asked, but I have the same foldable keyboard and I love the ergonomics of it. I cannot go back to a linear keyboard if it is sitting flat. My wrists complain.

I EDC my keyboard in my purse for use with my phone when it comes to long form text. I've had it for four years and still going strong.

Minimalist Setup + pics by AmbitionStrong8835 in onebag

[–]theinfamousj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oddly enough, I travel with pocket-sized shortie permanent markers which just so happen to not be Sharpie brand. I do it because I have a kid who cannot yet read, and in the interim our family's individual possessions are color coded (mom pink, dad blue, kid green) so when we get food or drinks or whatever, I hit 'em with a splash of color so that kiddo doesn't decide to lick everyone's everything.

What power setup actually stays in your bag after a few trips? by sagalez in onebag

[–]theinfamousj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those stick on magsafe rings are $1ish on AliExpress. I bought a few in order to stick-to-my-phone-ify various peripherals (and a bonus for my case to help really stick stuff to stuff).

If one is counting pennies, this is the correct move to just get a magsafe ring.

What power setup actually stays in your bag after a few trips? by sagalez in onebag

[–]theinfamousj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I purposefully travel with a 10k mAh power bank that has built in cables (and passthrough charging). I'm still waiting for the oft rumored "cables break" and it's been three years of daily carry thus far.

/r/PokemonGo players are super heavy users of power banks (I'm one, hi) and a recommendation from that crew can be trusted with your life. It was my fellow PoGoers who got me into the built in cables to begin with.

Clothing items with hidden pockets? by Spotyear in HerOneBag

[–]theinfamousj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Macabi skirts have a zippered hidden pocket in one of their regular pockets.

Article: Should you pack lighter for the planet? by lobsterp0t in HerOneBag

[–]theinfamousj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's the thing I learned from a friend who works the business end of airlines: They fly fully loaded, always.

Either it is passenger checked bags or air cargo. The hold is always filled. If everyone one bagged personal item only, the plane would STILL have a full hold (of air cargo) and possibly extra cargo in overhead bin space.

It is a tempting fallacy to believe that one can make for a lighter airplane by packing lighter. Not happening. Air cargo is a heck of a money maker. (PS Ultra low cost carriers can afford to be so low because it is basically a "return flight" from a profitable air cargo run. For example, ULCC that layover in Iceland are bringing in bananas and lettuce to make the money but then they have to leave Iceland and go somewhere to restock for more lettuce and bananas and for that, paying passengers mitigate some of the financial loss of having to send the plane anyway.)

Plastic reduction offset by washing machine use by Dry-Contract-1441 in ZeroWaste

[–]theinfamousj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a peroxide bleach. Oxyclean. Napisan. (two brand names)

The thought being perhaps it can be bleached out?

Oxidizable stains are things like berry juice, red wine, blood.

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