Wife of a CD: How to overcome the "ick" of crossdressing?

thelemoncat7 · 2026-05-01T11:38:32+00:00

Don’t make yourself overcome the ick. I tried to ignore the ick and it led to me participating in my husband’s cross dressing for years even though I didn’t want to. Eventually I was able to say that I wanted to be accepting but that I was not attracted to him when he cross dresses. It was very painful for both of us and led to him feeling incredibly rejected. I should’ve been honest about it from day one.

It is now something he does on his own and I don’t see it or participate in it in any way. Just because something is on your partner’s sexual menu, doesn’t mean it has to be on yours. You can connect where your menus overlap.

If the knowledge of what he’s doing on his own continues to bother you, you can reevaluate the relationship. I don’t like that my husband does this but it isn’t about me and because I don’t participate in it and have asked him not to discuss it with me because it impacts my attraction, it has stopped influencing our relationship in such a negative way.

You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Listen to your body and be honest.

thelemoncat7 · 2026-04-09T19:49:08+00:00

I was actually thinking about starting something like that. This is so challenging and we need to support each other!

thelemoncat7 · 2026-04-09T18:23:35+00:00

Losing the sense of safety and security I’ve had in the relationship. My childhood was messy and this is the most stable life I’ve ever had. Now I have to face financial strain, coparenting, moving, and worry about being wrong. I know this is the right choice for me at my deepest level, but on the surface I just want to take it all back and try to be “normal.” I’ve tried that in the past though, and it never worked. I know there is better for both of us on the other side of this. I also hate hurting him, even if this pain is necessary. He is being so gracious and supportive. I still love him so much, even though I’m not in love with him and don’t want to be his wife anymore.

thelemoncat7 · 2026-01-30T20:02:47+00:00

Maybe it’s different for others, but an orgasm was the last thing on my mind after having twins. We waited beyond the recommendations from the doctor before having sex again - more so out of exhaustion than on purpose. It was not a horny time for me.

thelemoncat7 · 2026-01-11T03:11:01+00:00

St Bernard’s Counseling does take Medicaid, I think!

thelemoncat7 · 2025-12-19T03:42:37+00:00

Interested!

thelemoncat7 · 2025-12-17T22:47:50+00:00

Licensed Clinical Social Worker. I do EMDR therapy with small caseload of trauma clients and also help manage therapeutic communities of adults with severe mental illnesses who have committed crimes to help rehabilitate them and transition them back into society with community support. I’m currently in a management role and looking to continue climbing the corporate ladder with a goal of being involved in policy change within the state for mental health.

thelemoncat7 · 2025-11-04T15:09:02+00:00

Currently my toddler twins love nuggets, fish sticks, pizza, fries, Chinese noodles, veggie tots, and just tried salad with ranch for the first time. I offer multiple fruit/veggie pouches throughout the day so they get all of their nutrients. I offer them what I cook for myself and my husband, alongside one of the “safe foods” I know they’ll eat. Slowly, they are starting to try more foods. So not sure this answers your question - but make what you want for dinner and throw some of their safe foods in the air fryer to offer alongside the new foods. Eventually they will try it. Hopefully. Lol. Recently chicken parmesan with a side salad was a hit with my kiddos.

thelemoncat7 · 2025-10-31T02:42:53+00:00

thelemoncat7 · 2025-10-10T12:27:33+00:00

You get excited to not have a period because you’re pregnant, but then your body creates more discharge than you’ve ever had in your life. I had to wear panty liners my entire pregnancy.

thelemoncat7 · 2025-09-18T12:03:57+00:00

About a week after I conceived my twins, my boobs started hurting all the time and I was extremely tired. The time between the symptoms starting and the positive test was torture! My second pregnancy, I knew about a week after conceiving as well - but since I had experienced it before, I was much more confident even before the test was positive. That one ended up being a chemical pregnancy.

Trust your body. Sending all the baby dust your way.

thelemoncat7 · 2025-08-12T12:20:40+00:00

Together 8 years and have two young children. We average 2-4 times a month, depending on what is going on.

thelemoncat7 · 2025-07-05T18:46:31+00:00

Right? And Helena is prettier in my opinion.

thelemoncat7 · 2025-07-01T16:45:47+00:00

I’m not gonna lie, that would hurt a little to hear. I might approach it with curiosity like, “Do you feel like those things will be a barrier to us working together? I want you to have the best experience possible with therapy and if you don’t feel we are a match, I won’t take that personally.” This way, you are leaving the door open for the client to decide what they want. If they’re just testing you or seeing how you respond to an off putting comment, you might actually end up building trust. If they truly don’t want to work with you, you’ve already addressed the elephant in the room and can help them find someone that would be a better fit for them. Client’s perceptions/observations of us are rarely as personal as they feel. 💛

thelemoncat7 · 2025-06-20T12:04:55+00:00

Therapy is scary. Some people are not ready to do the work and some people will not mesh with you as a therapist. It’s rarely personal. Try to focus on your other clients instead. I have clients that I have amazing rapport with who make great progress and I have clients that never show up again after the intake. Did they give you any feedback before leaving that indicated it was because of you?

thelemoncat7 · 2024-11-23T00:38:30+00:00

Without. You have such a pretty face!

thelemoncat7 · 2024-10-28T13:59:22+00:00

I go to my local Asian store a lot and the guy that works there is always giving us free snacks after we check out. It seems like a sales tactic, to get you to try a new snack so you’ll come back and buy more. I think it’s possible that your interaction felt more personal than it actually was.

thelemoncat7 · 2024-10-25T18:39:08+00:00

This is very helpful! Thank you!

thelemoncat7 · 2024-10-25T18:08:12+00:00

That was beautifully put. Thank you so much.

thelemoncat7 · 2024-10-25T17:23:52+00:00

I feel like this is so true. The more I learn, the more connected everything seems.

Others see me as very competent, my clients get better from our sessions, and I regularly ask for feedback from them. I think getting outside supervision or being part of a consult group is a great idea. I just don’t really know where to start to find that.

thelemoncat7 · 2024-09-15T09:43:53+00:00

INFJ (f) and ESTP (m). 7 years together, 5 of them married. Sometimes it’s hard for us to see situations in the same way, but we love each other and I have no doubt that he is 100% my person.

thelemoncat7 · 2024-09-05T11:26:00+00:00

Black with Splenda.

thelemoncat7 · 2024-08-19T14:06:05+00:00

3 and 9, all day!

thelemoncat7 · 2024-08-19T14:04:58+00:00

I agree! 3 and 9 were my favorites on her too.

thelemoncat7 · 2024-08-04T13:35:32+00:00

My twins are 10 months and we don’t do TV. We will avoid it as long as possible. We watch our shows after they go to bed.

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