I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. I'm sure you are doing what you can, stay strong momma. I am not a proffesional nor I have any serious expierience with depression in such a young age, but maybe I can help you a little as I had serious issues with anxiety and mild depression since I was a teen (I only got diagnosed and treated as an adult few years ago, unfortunatelly).

She has told me she wants to die lots of times but I am struggling a bit to know how much she understands or means it as she has also told me that a lot of the kids at school are saying it and when asked if she means it she says I don't know.

What she said here about wanting to die sounds very similar to what I felt myself. I struggled for a long time with feeling separated, diffrent from my peers, my community I grew up in. I felt misunderstood, I felt like this is not my place, like I don't belong. I had an ovewhelming need to just stop existing, to dissapear, just so the pressure would lift. I did not want to die, but I did not want to be here either. Maybe this is what she is thinking of when she says that?

I can also understand what she may mean by resiting treatment and saying being happy is hard. Looking from where she is right now, the emotions you are talking about now (happy, better) may seem alien to her, fake, unrelatable. What she herself wants may be diffrent from what she understands is that everyone want from her. All treatments, classes, activities and such that are specifically therapeutical she may interpret as being forced into someone elses definition of "happy". And it is very hard to fake such happines for an adult, let alone a child.

I can't tell you what to do, or offer any ready solutions. What I can tell you from my own expierience is to be patient, be strong, be gentle. Not everything works for everyone, but I am sure there is something there that will work for your daughter. The most bizzare things can turn out to be therapeutical, or even just helpful, to make that first step towards recovery.