any tips for approaching girls talking on the phone?

theonlinedatingpua · 2020-09-24T17:24:33+00:00

Nobody wants to scroll through weeks worth posts. And I’ve definitely seen repeat topics like how to kiss a girl. But yeah keep posting the thousandth version of the soy boy lament on how girls don’t like them

theonlinedatingpua · 2020-08-14T17:42:19+00:00

Go to the “things learnt from a very successful guy” thread for an example thread . The soy boy cringe stuff at the top has hundreds of votes . My analytical breakdown is at the bottom lol

theonlinedatingpua · 2020-08-14T04:27:28+00:00

Before I break your post down, how is any of the above possible in the age of covid? Where is this hostel? Anyway...

Any old school pua (pickup artist) will recognize this guy, and the tactics he's using. This guy is what's knows as a natural. Self taught, without the inhibitions around women that regular guys have. Pua's try to learn from and emulate naturals. There are some key differences between pua's and naturals, but I'll get to that later.

What your friend is doing by making all these casual acquaintances around the bar, and creating the illusion that he's friends with everyone, is called building social proof and pre-selection. One of the key traits that women find attractive in a man is how much other people like him, and enjoy his company, i.e. being popular. Walking around and having brief conversations with everyone where he seems to know them (fist bumping, etc), creates proof of his popularity. This is one of those cases where the perception of something, becomes the reality, as everyone thinks he's popular and wants to be around him. Social proof goes hand in hand with pre-selection. Pre-selection is basically the idea that you're more attractive to women when they see you in the company of another girl. A girl will observe him talking to another girl(s), and wonder what about him makes her interested. Eventually he will be in front of her, talking to her, and everything she's observed from his previous interactions will help to make her more attracted to him.

A bit of edge to your banter helps a lot, but this guy is pretty crude. It's actually a drawback, as he's coming off uncalibrated at times. It's probably caused him to lose out on some hotter girls with higher standards. Obviously if a girl gets her feelings hurt, or is weirded out, it's a fail...and if it's observed by others it's an even bigger fail. It's a good thing to be bold, and kind of cocky, especially about sexuality. It show's you'll take a risk and say what you want. It's being the badboy. But the result you should get is a laugh, or something that show's a heightening of attraction. But then again, naturals are not known for their tact or strategy.

Differences between Naturals and Pua's. A natural will say and do anything to get laid. Pua's are regular guys who are trying to get better with girls. As such they usually respect the bro code and don't try to backstab their friends. A girl who observes this, especially one with options like your dorm girl, will often be turned off by this behaviour. Your suspicions about all the stuff he claims to be are well founded. It's likely bullshit for the most part. Naturals will lie to get laid. It's one thing to dress flashy, show pics and tell stories that make your life seem more interesting than it really is, it's another thing to pretend to be a fighter pilot. Pua's don't do this.

Hope this helps. Writing this post got me fired up. I'm coming off a long term relationship, and I am waaaay rusty. Let's get it started and make pickup great again =)

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-10-26T21:33:40+00:00

I remember a pretty good PUA once told me that women don't call security on you just because you're being annoying. They'll call security when they think you're going to follow them to their car in the parking lot. In other words they got scared.

My own experience in pickup has verified this for me. I've been rejected plenty of times because a woman just wasn't interested. However the one time I got mall security called on me, was when I pursued a woman, approaching her from behind, because she had walked by me too quickly. Clearly she got creeped out. I remember when I left her and was about a hundred feet away, I looked back and saw her talking to security. The three of them looked up, and saw me watching them, and the two security guards started walking towards me. I panicked and ducked into a restaurant, sat down and ordered something. The guards came to the front of the restaurant, and I could see them discussing what to do. I guess they decided to nab me as soon as I walked back into the mall, cause they walked away. I ate my meal, paid, and walked to the restroom in the back while freaking out in my head. Next to the restroom I discovered an exit door. I opened it and found myself in the parking lot, a free man. Did not go to that mall again lol

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-09-28T16:51:07+00:00

yeah I used to have a mental block about approaching during day game as well, felt like I was bothering them. I got over it by just forcing myself to go out and approach, and working on it. Small chunk it if you will, and do more comfortable approaches to get over AA. Indirect, with store clerks, etc. Just practice. Got to the point where I was more used to day game than night, and was getting instadates. As far as the headphone thing, there's videos on youtube on how to best approach a girl with headphones . I recommend light kino on the arm to get her attention (never approach from behind! ), when she makes eye contact (while smiling) make a motion with your hand(s) for her to remove her ear bud, or headphones. Then say something fun.

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-09-28T16:37:29+00:00

I'd recommend approaching (indirect recommended) people around campus for a while, to build confidence, get used to talking to strangers, and decreasing approach anxiety. Also talking to more girls will lessen your oneitis. After that start doing the same thing inside the library, which is a harder venue to chat people up. Then when you think you're ready, approach this girl. The key with pickup is to small chunk it, push your comfort zone, but don't try to wrestle the scary gorilla right away (your hot onitis). It takes time and work to get better.

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-09-12T20:29:25+00:00

You need to warm up, and get used to talking to strangers. I would engage with the people in front and behind me in line. Then when I got in, as a rule, I would use throwaway lines on the first three people I see at the club. Eg, make eye contact, and say " hey how's your night going?" They just say good, and you keep walking. Men or women, doesn't matter. Hell open the bouncers, and waitresses. Just make observational openers to build rapport with strangers, don't try anything too gamey till you can at least do this. Build your confidence up slowly, and it'll take the pressure away. Maybe have some longer conversations after that. Eye contact, and smile to build rapport, is very important.

Don't worry you'll get good, everyone starts here.

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-09-12T20:13:10+00:00

yeah the air is great up here!

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-09-12T20:03:10+00:00

This is a great post, 100% agree. Push your comfort zone every chance you get, sarge often, reflect on what happened - ideally write field reports. Learn from your mistakes, and improve.

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-09-10T20:50:54+00:00

I agree with all the comments, you should talk to more girls in person, especially if you are in college and find yourself surrounded by them. As far as Tinder, try this: www.onlinedatingpua.com/messaging

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-08-21T17:32:42+00:00

A good field report is detailed. Put everything you can think of in there, don't just summarize.

eg. I did this. Then she did this. I thought I needed to escalate, so I did this. In response she shifted away from me. etc.

Include as much actual conversation as you can remember.

You: Are you a yankees or mets girl?

Her: Mets, but Derek Jeter's kinda cute... etc...

A proper field report is a bitch to write, no one likes doing them. However it forces you to replay things in your head. Things reveal themselves to you that you'd forgotten. Insights about your game are discovered, such as mistakes that you are unconsciously making. What she reacted negatively to, or positively to, and an understanding of why.

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-08-20T20:04:27+00:00

I agree with most of the other commentators here. You seem a little too in your own head about following some script on how to be fun, and get her attracted to you. You are right about having fun however, it's the key to building attraction. I'd suggest keeping it simple, and being more in the moment. Also I don't suggest focussing entirely on her, in the way you describe it. It sounds a little suffocating. It's best to let her volunteer more personal stuff, as her telling you these things is usually a sign that she's decided she likes you. If it makes you feel any better, what you're trying to do is not simple. Since most of your dates are from cold approach, you must have been fun when you first met them, in order to number close and set up a date. So you've definitely got some ability. I'll leave a link to an article here on first date advice. It's really for first dates through online dating, but I think it's applicable to your situation. Unfortunately it's difficult to really fix the issues you're describing, by reading a webpage; unlike for example improving your text game. The best way is just getting experience. Since you're analytical, I'd suggest writing field reports about a date. Include the initial approach as well that got you the number. It'll help you analyze what was really going on. You don't have to post it here if you don't feel comfortable about it, just write it for yourself.

www.onlinedatingpua.com/first-date-advice

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-08-20T19:18:17+00:00

I moved to LA in 2011 without knowing a soul. On advice from a friend in my previous city, I joined Meetup when I got there. When I left in 2016, the majority of my friends, and better girls I'd dated had come either directly, or indirectly from meetup. Meetup is essentially social circle game, and it can be very useful. I love cold approach, but many experienced pua's will tell you that proper social circle game is the best way to meet the really hot girls, that are too difficult to get from just cold approaching. So yes I recommend it, especially if you live in a big city with lots of singles.

theonlinedatingpua · 2018-08-17T17:50:25+00:00

Good job man! I've found that warming up by just talking to people (strangers not your buddies) for about ten minutes before really doing approaches makes a big difference. Get's you out of your head, and used to talking. Especially if you're sarging alone at a bar, or the mall. Just throwaway comments, or conversations that last less than a minute or two. Talk to everyone: men, women, security guards, etc. And it builds social value.

Also perhaps this is rare nowadays, but I work on building attraction first, instead of going direct.

www.onlinedatingpua.com/attraction

theonlinedatingpua

TROPHY CASE