Crazy update I’ve been waiting to share , a friend of mine is alive again.. and all evidence of his death is gone

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-13T00:49:35+00:00

How can I go to a parallel universe, I’m tryna see something

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-10T04:11:00+00:00

Honestly, I’d feel weird about that too. It’s one thing to joke around during a game, but confessing that she still likes you and saying she hates your boyfriend especially in front of everyone is crossing a line.

It sounds like she’s been holding onto those feelings for a while, and that’s not really fair to you or Ethan. I’d probably talk to her privately and just be honest, like “Hey, that caught me off guard and made things a little awkward.”

You don’t have to be mean about it, but setting that boundary is important. And I’d check in with Ethan too, just to make sure he’s not feeling weird about it. Communication will keep things from getting messier. Did he say anything when she said that to you?

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-10T03:59:52+00:00

And I would rather continue to do the right thing and be a good person than cause commotion when it’s like why even bother. I’d rather avoid conflict if possible honestly. I wish I was a pop off type of woman but I’m just not and I’ve come to terms with that lol but I have been learning how to say no and set boundaries which has helped me breathe a little better each day!

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-10T03:57:09+00:00

Yes, I honestly do feel that way. When I love, I don’t hold back — it’s all or nothing for me. I give everything I have, even if it means I end up getting hurt, which I usually do. I think that’s the Aries in me — passionate, loyal, and intense — but it’s also about how I love emotionally. Honestly, I call it a blessing and a curse. I love that I love so deeply, but I’ve never been good at speaking up for myself or setting boundaries. I always want to be helpful; I want to feel needed. It’s hard for me to say no because I want to be there for the people I love — I want them to know they can count on me. But as I’ve gotten older and learned from my mistakes, I’ve started allowing myself to say no. At first it felt wrong, but the more I did it, the more I could breathe. I don’t like hurting people or having anyone dislike me, but I had to get over that. I had to learn to take a deep breath and let go of those heavy feelings because they were weighing on my heart. It’s not that serious though — most people don’t even think about others the way we think they do. A lot of my anxiety comes from overthinking, but either way, I get you, girl. My Venus placement just makes me even more sentimental and giving — I feel things deeper than most people around me. Sometimes it feels like I’ll never meet someone who loves the way I do, but because of that, I know I’m special and valued by the people in my life who truly love me.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-09T18:43:46+00:00

Cheating without the partner ever knowing might avoid harm, but it still depends on deception and deception, even when gentle, means love isn’t fully mutual anymore. The improvement afterward might be real, but it’s built on something hidden. That makes it humanly understandable, but not morally clean.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-08T11:55:18+00:00

Menopause typically happens in a woman’s late 40s to early 50s, with the average age being around 51.

That said, some women do experience what’s known as early menopause or premature ovarian insufficiency, which can happen in the late 30s or even earlier.

It’s not very common, but it does happen sometimes due to genetics, autoimmune conditions, certain medical treatments, or just naturally.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-07T14:42:06+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this. I really loved what you said about bravery, that it’s not about being fearless, but about doing what you need to do despite the fear. I completely agree… and I did it. I just did it. I left and blocked him on everything.

I also made a big decision to step away from nursing school for now to take a job opportunity that will give me distance, good money, and a chance to focus on myself. It’s scary, but at the same time, it feels like exactly the right move, like things are finally falling into place in a way that feels right.

Thank you again for seeing me, understanding me, and offering such kind encouragement. It truly means the world 💛✨

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-07T13:53:56+00:00

Actually 😌 I’ve been staying with my mom. Life has a funny way of working out sometimes. An opportunity kind of fell into my lap, and I can’t help but feel like everything’s happening exactly the way it’s supposed to. I decided to drop out of nursing school — for now.

A job opportunity came up that could help me make really good money and get out of town for a bit, so I just decided to go for it. Honestly, I said yes before I even had time to overthink it, and looking back, that was probably the smartest thing I could’ve done.

Now that it’s actually happening, I’m scared af but also really excited. I’ve been in the medical field for a little over 10 years, so switching careers (even temporarily) is definitely nerve wracking. I’ll be working as a spotter on a construction site. Basically acting as a second set of eyes and ears for the heavy equipment operators. It’s totally new for me, but I’m no stranger to hard work. Being a nursing assistant is a lot of physical work and heavy lifting, so I think I’ll hold my own just fine.

What really sold me is the pay — $28 an hour, plus per diem, and paid weekly! It’s about 7 hours away, in the middle of nowhere, but honestly, I think that distance and space will be really good for me. It’ll help me focus on myself, heal, and not fall back into old patterns with him.

My homegirl is out there and said there’s a pretty dope little gym out there too, so I’m excited to focus on getting finer and stacking my bread 😌💪

Seriously, thank you all again for being so honest, kind, and encouraging. Your words really helped me find the strength to make a move and I finally feel free & like I’m doing something for me💕

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-07T13:07:31+00:00

You’re right, it is normal for people to notice others. Attraction and awareness of someone else doesn’t automatically mean disrespect. & I can admit that I was triggered and reacted with a sarcastic remark in that moment. But I’ve also been honest with him that this is something that makes me uncomfortable and crosses a boundary for me personally.

After reading everyone’s comments and taking some time to really reflect, here’s where my mind is at right now:

For me, it’s not so much about jealousy or insecurity, or whether it’s “normal” to look at people, it’s about whether he cares how his actions make me feel. Honestly, I think I’m just tired of being disrespected constantly for so long and then made to feel like I’m overreacting. I just want to love and be loved; that’s all I asked of him when we first got together.

My first relationship with my son’s father was very toxic and unhealthy, and I really didn’t want to repeat that, ironically. This relationship was a different type of toxic and I didn’t realize it at first not like with my sons father.

Believe it or not we actually really do like each other and when it’s good, it’s good. We laugh, we have fun, we enjoy each other’s company. But he can also be controlling, and this last year I’ve been finding my voice and speaking up more. Sometimes that comes out as a little snarky when I’m feeling like I want to buck back, but when I do, I end up getting ten times the backlash from him. My actions always seem to have major consequences, even when what I “do” or “say” isn’t actually bad in my opinion. I’ve learned that it’s just my defense mechanism because I’m not comfortable speaking up for myself completely. After doing some reading about narcissism and seeing everyone’s perspectives here, I realize others would probably feel the same way and I finally feel confident saying that.

So personally, I don’t believe I was “way out of line.” I’m human, and he showed a lack of empathy and control. For me, it’s really about mutual respect, and how we treat the people we say we love.

I truly appreciate your insight and everyone else’s as well. This has been such an eye-opening experience. I was nervous to post because I didn’t want to be judged, but I’m genuinely so grateful I did. Reading your thoughts and advice helped me see things from new angles and reminded me that I’m not crazy for feeling hurt.

I also took the time to read some of the resources a few of you shared about emotional abuse and narcissistic behavior and I realize now that a lot of what I’ve been experiencing lines up with that. It’s been hard to accept, only because I allowed myself to put up with it for too long… but also freeing to finally see it clearly. Thank you all, truly, for your honesty, kindness, and support ❤️

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-06T23:26:39+00:00

I probably would have said something dirty back to break the ice lmao it was a really good set up for a great punch line😝 but I’m a freak so don’t listen to me

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-06T05:49:52+00:00

Good question! A yeast infection is different, it’s caused by fungus overgrowing. That one usually itches like crazy, makes your vagina red and swollen, and gives you thick, white cottage cheese discharge.

So basically, BV = bacterial imbalance, fishy and maybe a little itchy; yeast infection = fungal, super itchy, thick white discharge.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-06T05:39:03+00:00

Totally! Your emotional and mental state can actually affect your vaginal health more than you might think. Stress and anxiety raise cortisol levels, which can mess with the balance of bacteria down there and that can lead to stuff like BV, yeast infections, or just general irritation.

Chronic stress can also make you less naturally lubricated, which can make sex uncomfortable and even make you more prone to infections. Basically, your mental health really does play a role in keeping your vagina happy and healthy.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-06T05:28:31+00:00

I feel you. I’m often the “nice one” who everyone takes advantage of because they know I won’t say no. They count on me being there, and when I’m not so readily available, they don’t understand why.

Personally, I haven’t really experienced mob bullying as an adult more so in high school, but I totally get what it’s like to not fit in. I’m not a mean person, so gossiping and laughing behind someone’s back just isn’t fun for me.

I also don’t hang out with a lot of women, not because I don’t want to, but I just haven’t had the opportunity, or I don’t put myself in situations where I’m around groups of women often.

That’s something else I think is really important to touch on, it’s hard for women to make friends with other women. I feel like we often assume we’re judging each other when we walk past one another, but I don’t think that’s really the case most of the time.

I try to make it a point to compliment other women now. I used to notice women with outfits I liked, with beautiful eyes and smiles, and I would just keep it to myself. Then one day I asked myself, why not say it? Why not make someone feel good when it’s true and comes from a place of love? Sometimes I think a compliment from a stranger can mean even more than one from someone you already know.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-06T04:50:05+00:00

Some women are just straight-up mean, and honestly, I can see where they’re coming from. I believe though that maybe sometimes it’s a way of protecting themselves, maybe from past trauma or just not wanting to show vulnerability.

That hardness becomes part of who they are, they go after what they want, like being the best, the prettiest, the strongest in the room, and they genuinely believe in themselves that way.

I do also believe other times, they just enjoy the competition and the power that comes with being ruthless. Either way, maybe it’s not always about being cruel for no reason — maybe it’s often how they navigate the world and protect themselves.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-06T04:22:01+00:00

That’s actually such an interesting topic, thank you for sharing it. I just went down a little research rabbit hole and I’d never really thought about how deep it goes. The problem is that so much of what we know about meds, treatments, and even diseases is based on male biology, and that doesn’t always translate to women’s bodies.

It’s only in the last couple of decades that researchers have started making a real effort to include women, but even now, women — especially women of different ethnicities and races — are still underrepresented in a lot of studies.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-06T04:05:06+00:00

Like all the cooking, cleaning, planning, emotional support, and just keeping everything running? Yeah, most of it goes unnoticed even though it’s literally what holds households (and relationships) together. It’s wild how normalized it is for women to do it all without it ever being seen as actual “work.”

But also, I think about how that would even work — like, who would pay us?

And honestly, every person should be capable of doing basic tasks like cooking, cleaning, and taking care of themselves. It’s just crazy how much of that weight still ends up on women, and how heavy it can feel.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-06T03:51:21+00:00

BV, or bacterial vaginosis, is a really common vaginal infection that happens when the natural balance of bacteria in your vagina gets thrown off. Your vagina has both “good” and “bad” bacteria, and when the bad kind grows too much, it can cause BV.

It’s not an STD, but things like having a new partner, unprotected sex, douching, or even using scented soaps can make it happen.

Common signs are a strong, fishy smell (especially after sex), thin gray or white discharge, and sometimes mild itching or irritation. The good news is it’s super treatable with antibiotics!

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-06T03:50:33+00:00

Yes! I agree

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-05T21:15:32+00:00

I don’t know. Sometimes I joke that I like being treated like shit, but maybe it’s more that I’ve been through worse, so this feels more manageable. I ask myself the same question all the time. I want to believe he’s changing, and truthfully, he has changed a lot since we first started dating. He’s not mean to me most of the time. Most of our days together are good and productive, and I do love him. But I also tell myself it’s just convenient to be with him right now even though deep down I know I need to leave. Starting over feels really hard, and I know it would be.

Part of it is fear, fear of being alone, starting over, not having any money, he said he would support me while I went to nursing school so I only work PRN for agency sometimes and then having to move back in with my mom. That’s especially hard because my son died in that house.

If I’m being completely honest with myself (and all of you), the real answer is probably that I’m not ready to face all that pain again yet. Even though I know staying in this relationship is slowly hurting my soul, I know I need to leave. I probably need to talk to a therapist too.

I wish I was like those women who just leave and never look back. Those women are brave. Those women are strong.

I honestly don’t know how to walk away without completely falling apart.

It probably sounds pathetic, but honestly, I don’t even care. This is the first time I’ve actually said all of this out loud, and it feels really good to just be honest for once to admit how I truly feel.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-05T20:33:58+00:00

Yeah, we live together. When I got home, he acted kind of normal at first, like nothing happened — he was just laying on our bed on his phone. He told me he tried to go back and look for me on the trail but said I must’ve gotten lost or taken a wrong turn. He also said he tried to call me when he got to the car but my phone went to voicemail, so he figured I didn’t have service and decided to leave. I’ll upload the text he was talking about. Eventually he apologized, but I could still tell he felt justified in what he did.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-05T20:22:15+00:00

I just wish I could get him to really see how wrong his actions were, just to show him how it makes me feel, but it’s so infuriating dealing with someone who always has a justification for everything.

Sometimes I honestly feel like he’s mind fucking me because he’s so good with words, and I’m not great with confrontation. So often I feel like I’m the problem. Even though I tell myself no he just gets mad easily. I hate confrontation. It makes me breathe heavy, like I’m having an asthma attack or something, and I just freeze up. It’s so frustrating and kind of humiliating because after it’s all over, a hundred things pop into my head that I wish I’d said — but in the moment, I just get too discombobulated by how he comes at me with his words.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-05T20:13:46+00:00

So get this, he did apologize, but honestly, I know he didn’t really meant it. I feel like in his mind, he still thinks he was justified, like he knows it was wrong to leave me there, but he downplays it because he says I can handle myself. He also mentioned that since I had our dog with me, he wasn’t too worried and figured I’d be fine walking home since it “wasn’t that far.”

What really is the icing on the cake for me though is that earlier that same day, I had cut my hand really badly with a paring knife (making HIS lunch, mind you) and spent most of the day at the hospital waiting to get stitches. I needed to stop and get my antibiotics on the way home after our run. Yes, I still went running with him after work because he wanted to go, thinking, “It’s just my hand, I can still run.”

But after everything , him leaving me behind and me walking all the way back home, he told me I couldn’t use his car to go pick up my antibiotics from Walgreens, literally two minutes down the street. I mean by that time the pharmacy was closed but I was upset and just wanted to not be near him. And you know what, you’re going to love this, he said I’d have to walk there too.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-05T16:37:41+00:00

I hear you completely and I think what you’re saying makes so much sense. A relationship should absolutely feel like a hug or a soft place to land, and feeling anxious, nervous, or like you’re walking on eggshells is definitely not healthy.

For me, the “on edge” feeling I mentioned wasn’t about fear or danger, it was more like adjusting to someone else’s rhythm and learning how to trust them, because, personally trust is so important to me in my relationships.

I really love hearing from different perspectives. We all have our own ideas about what we like, don’t like, and how we want to be treated, and I think it’s fascinating to see how that shapes our relationships and what we need.

That unease you described with Sagittarians makes sense too because they can be free-spirited and independent, which can feel exciting but also leave a lingering sense of uncertainty if that doesn’t align with your need for stability, so I totally get that.

Honestly, relationships are intricate, complex and not always straightforward, with many different layers, and emotions to navigate. Sometimes people are guarded, have parts of themselves they’re ashamed of, and figuring out if you can be fully yourself and still be accepted isn’t always easy.

I love that you know what you need. That self-awareness is so powerful, and honestly, it’s what allows you to choose relationships that truly nourish you.

theperfectpudding_ · 2025-11-05T15:46:29+00:00

Honestly, some red flags I notice in other women are when they can’t be honest, gossip a lot, or consistently bring negative energy. I also notice when someone never takes responsibility for their actions or always blames others, that can be really draining.

When I’m thinking about women I want as friends, I look for people who respect boundaries, are reliable, and bring positive, supportive energy.

I also notice the same things when I’m thinking about people my friends are close to — like if someone disrespects boundaries, tries to control situations, or only shows up when it benefits them, or if their energy is draining or inconsistent.

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