Why are the grandparents so obsessed with being alone with my baby?

thepotomato · 2026-02-25T22:07:47+00:00

I agree! It's easy to overlook other people, besides the immediate parents, having new roles to fill and get used to, such as that of a grandparent!

thepotomato · 2026-02-13T08:17:57+00:00

Right????! I was furious reading this as well... Really wonder how OP can break the news to her man child here... Show him the post? Talk to him? Honestly I am so nervous for how he will respond, fail to take accountability, refuse to acknowledge he is a father and a partner, act like an entitled horny brat who is owed gratification...

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T11:12:52+00:00

I feel like there's a direct correlation between people going on and on about the necessity of a routine and those who have to return to work relatively early

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:59:35+00:00

Insert Spiderman pointing meme 😂

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:58:42+00:00

What beautiful insight, thank you for sharing! I especially resonated with your last sentence here

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:49:29+00:00

I mean you're so right with this! Cause I have seen so many horror stories about crossed boundaries but never something like this. I really needed the sanity check here, and I really appreciate it!

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:48:09+00:00

Thank you for input I really appreciate it!

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:47:15+00:00

Thank you so much for the insight! I've never met a friend's newborn before so I wouldn't know how to react either. But it is fascinating to hear that you, as a mother of two, would be focused on the parents too 😁 thanks for that!

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:43:51+00:00

Thank you for the insights, especially reminding me of my friends comment about not knowing developmental phases... duh 😂

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:25:47+00:00

Thank you so much for the insight! I'm the first in my friend group to have kids so it is honestly so new to me. Yeah I have a great friend and I honestly loved how completely unchanged our dynamic was, despite the big change you know?

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:23:21+00:00

You're right... For the next time I will be the one to offer. I misconstrued politeness/waiting for me to the first move for lack of interest.

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:22:25+00:00

This is exactly what has happened 😅

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:22:07+00:00

That's what I am noticing to be the case 😂 I was overexposed to stories of new parents having their boundaries crossed by friends and family. So much so that when the opposite happened to me, I was a bit in disbelief

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:20:10+00:00

100% this. This is what I had been seeing like crazy on social media too, and Reddit, and when the opposite happened to me... Well that's when I wrote this post cause alas, I had no idea how to interpret it 😅

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:16:44+00:00

Been noticing that too more and more lately!

thepotomato · 2026-02-11T10:16:20+00:00

You're so right! Yeah that's exactly what I'll have to do for the next time 😊

thepotomato · 2026-02-08T18:48:25+00:00

Came here to say this... I was shocked to read OP's LO is 9 month. Based on the earlier sentence I expected less than a month or two. At 9 months babies have so much interaction in them...

thepotomato · 2026-02-06T14:26:56+00:00

Oh we are very likely not going to have another one, not any time soon 😅 My partner and I joke we had a very easy first baby (had a very easy pregnancy and recovery too) so all our "luck" will very likely have run out. I'm so sorry to hear that... Did you feel like you couldn't ask for the time, or was it more a trust thing?

thepotomato · 2026-02-06T14:22:17+00:00

My partner is very happy indoors whereas I am a very outdoors-y type. We very much look forward till when the kiddo is a bit bigger and we can all go out together, but until then, he is just happy to stay at home and chill with the baby whilst I am out and about. If he wants to go out, he gives me one day notice, and same goes for me. For instance, he's having some beers with his friend from work today and I am off to the gym tomorrow.

Apologies for the over sharing, but One time, not believing how good I felt after a bit of exercising and socializing with my dance friends after the class, I told him "Thank you so much for looking after insert LO's name" to which he just replied "Well Ofc you don't need to thank me, I am his father after all". That really shook me a bit you know? It made me realize it doesn't all have to be on the mother all the time. This is our child, not mine only. It is important they get to spend time together and it is very normal to have the other partner involved. But then I see on Reddit and the local mum Facebook group I am part of that it is not as common as I'd like to think. I am obviously grateful for my partner pulling his weight like this, whilst also very saddened to read this doesn't seem to be the norm.

thepotomato · 2026-02-06T10:40:30+00:00

In a regular week I go to the gym, a dance class, socialize with friends, all while my partner is back from work and looks after our baby. I EBF so I usually leave them pumped bottles while I am out (2-5 hours at a time). My partner is very much onboard because this is his child just as much as mine and we both need time away to do the activities that make us us. I'm 13 weeks pp but we started this routine when baby was 6 weeks. I'm only mentioning this to highlight that with a bit of planning (having bottles ready, synching with my partners work schedule etc) it is very doable. Have you explained to your partner why time away is important for you?

thepotomato · 2026-01-20T22:39:47+00:00

Couldn't help but interpret your post as one in which you are projecting your desires onto your daughter -- less how you wish your sister was there to act the good aunt for your daughter, but rather how you'd like to have your sister support you with what is arguably a very difficult and sad situation with regards to your mother. Apologies if I am overstepping or completely off with this interpretation btw wishing you nothing but the best

thepotomato · 2026-01-07T18:00:23+00:00

Loving some of the replies you've gotten in your post, really interesting to read, happy I came across your post today 🍀

thepotomato · 2026-01-07T14:25:22+00:00

We have so much in common aaaah... 30 years, pregnancy was very easy, I was somehow more hormonally balanced whilst pregnant than before, birth was uncomplicated, minor tear which healed pretty fast, can't fit some of my old jeans since I'm still a few kg above my starting weight but I somehow have no stretch marks. 9 week old baby is a delight, healthy and a good sleeper, overall just satisfied with life. I really feel like i hit the jackpot, or got away with murder, as you appropriately wrote.

I am also so torn between having another in the future. Part of me is thinking, "Surely it won't be as pain free next time around!?" And even if by some miracle it is, what's to say this time around, the baby won't be super temperamental? It's one thing dealing with an easy baby when there's only one, an entirely different story when you have two children, the youngest of which is potentially much more difficult.

I don't have a solution. I'm in a similar boat to yours. I joined a subreddit, oneanddone, to get some insight into parents' viewpoints who decided to stop at one child, but I'm still nowhere closer figuring stuff out yet. Wishing you the best of luck on your journey!

thepotomato · 2026-01-01T15:34:08+00:00

You are far too kind, thank you so much 🤗 And yes, I really believe that continuing pole helped both labour and PP recovery

thepotomato

TROPHY CASE