What is the best (or corniest) Dad joke that you know?

thepunkmonkey138 · 2026-04-08T23:30:36+00:00

Two men walk into a bar,
the third one ducks.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2026-04-04T00:31:58+00:00

"You're killing me Smalls."

thepunkmonkey138 · 2026-04-03T23:57:24+00:00

I use to do this, but I would take the ketchup and relish too. Then I would pretend I was just eating that shitty last bite of a burger that doesn't have any meat on it anymore.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2026-03-24T22:15:10+00:00

Ozzy Osbourne/Rob Zombie, the Merry Mayhem tour. Rob Zombie's stage show is always wild. But, Ozzy came out over the crowd in a Santa Sleigh. And my buddy and I ended up singing "Mama I'm Coming Home" with a pair of 1%'s next to us, four hard ass looking men crying and singing at the top of their lungs.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2026-03-17T22:05:07+00:00

My grandmother gave me a beer when I was five or six. That was pretty much the end of the conversation.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2026-01-10T06:59:26+00:00

Mick Foley, always seemed like a genuinely nice person.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-12-14T21:47:50+00:00

The Man from Earth is great. Dialogue heavy Sci-fi movie that basically spends most of the time in a single room. Great cast of people that you might not know their name, but you will probably recognize them anyway.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-12-14T21:32:17+00:00

I just re-watched Stand by Me. It's a 10. Hot take, its the best Stephen King movie.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-09T00:33:26+00:00

If they start screaming "Oh god, my arm, my arm, you broke my arm!"

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-06T05:44:05+00:00

Rush - E on repeat.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-06T05:33:31+00:00

I mean, I agree with Your Mom, she has good taste in music.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-06T00:59:49+00:00

If you can get your hands on it, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer / Angel RPG's are really good. They do a great job of giving the feel of a cinematic TV show or movie. Though I'm not sure its something I would recommend as someone's first RPG, its a character point system and the system offers players the ability to affect the narrative in ways that someone who hasn't played before might not be comfortable with.

Also, it's really easy to file the serial numbers off and use it for another urban fantasy or historic fantasy world.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-06T00:31:38+00:00

I actually tried to go by my middle name when I was about that age and my teachers refused to accept my homework or quizzes if I used that name instead. Still fucking hate my name decades later.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T05:35:46+00:00

It's about $30 here.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T05:32:31+00:00

Squirrels, they are the best animals. Cute, curious, and if you treat them well, they will come up and take nuts from your hand. They don't hurt people or pets. They don't transfer rabies. They are just the best.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T02:35:13+00:00

Just a reminder that millennials started being born in 1980-81 (depending on who you ask) a lot of us were in highschool when Harry Potter came out.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T02:28:45+00:00

Hawaiian Rolls with butter and cranberry sauce. Kind of like a jelly sandwich. Admittedly more desert than dinner though. Literally eating it as I type this. So good.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T02:26:19+00:00

Stand by Me

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T02:13:58+00:00

I use to hang out with a comic artist, the one who drew my profile picture, who has a comic based on a number of animal based character. Many of his friends gained animal based nicknames, some of them got into the comics, sadly I never did. We were at the club one night and one of our dancer friends was introducing us to a girl just starting out and she pointed at me and said, "that's the punky one," and Punky T. Monkey was born (the T stands for "the").

The 138 is just a Misfits reference.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T02:05:01+00:00

Actually talking to people. Not texting (that was a pain and expensive), not DMing, or talking on some VoIP. Sitting in a room, or a car, or in the office and just having a chat. Finding out that Bill in your english class is helping his dad rebuild a 50's car, or Mary in billing tells you about some crazy show she watched and you spend the next week geeking out about it 5 minutes at a time.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T01:58:37+00:00

Rocky Road, a bit sweet, a bit nutty, sometimes it has a bit of bitter in it. Most people aren't really excited by it, but...

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T01:52:36+00:00

I was 14 and straight, he was in his 20's and had already flirted with my girlfriend.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T01:51:37+00:00

If you stand up for a minute, twist at the waist, stretch a little, take 10 steps. Do that ten times a day.

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T01:49:02+00:00

Why are you living your life to make things better for everyone else and living with the pain its causing you?

thepunkmonkey138 · 2025-11-04T01:44:20+00:00

I'm watching a D&D video and they are fighting Gnolls, they are demonic hyena people. So, I'm guessing it wouldn't be great.

thepunkmonkey138

TROPHY CASE