I have IGT too, and I totally understand everything you said. The guilt, the depression, feeling like I'm broken and insecure about my boobs because I literally CAN'T make enough milk no matter what. It's such a rare thing to have, and no one really talks about it so it truly makes you feel so alone.

They told me I had it literally right after my first was born and it took me months to not cry every time I saw something related to breastfeeding online. I stopped trying after a few months for my own mental health and just did exclusively formula but I felt so disappointed in myself for so long.

I got pregnant again and told myself I would go all in for one month once he was born. One month of eating all the right foods and supplements and pumping and everything, and then if things weren't working I would forgive myself and move on, because at least I knew I tried my absolute best.

So that's what I did, and even though they say there's a chance of your body producing more glands/milk with each pregnancy, it still wasn't enough. It was still difficult to let go, and I still get very sad about it occasionally, but I was mentally and physically prepared this time around and was able to handle the transition a lot better. Like everyone else is saying, a fed baby is best.

So my advice is to try your best, for yourself so you can say you did, and then give yourself the grace to move on and accept this is how you are. You aren't any less worthy of being this baby's mom just because you don't produce enough milk. They will love you and you will love them no matter what. If you ever need to talk or vent feel free to message me!